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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Needing to rant about DH!!!!!

45 replies

MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 10:18

My DH has undertaken a new fitness regime and it's 'doin' ma nut'!

He is overweight, he needs to lose weight. Originally we both started together, both lost weight, both attended exercise classes together (BodyPump so nothing too girly, then he did some on his own and I did some on my own), it was nice. However the years have rolled on, I have kept most of my weight off, he has put all his back on again and has been farting about spending loads of money on gym equipment and a personal trainer because he doesn't fancy the classes anymore.

Now out of the blue he has started an '8 week plan', I know I should be very happy but it is basically a bodybuilder's plan he has embarked on! My DH never does things by halves (wouldn't be suprised if he is on the Aspergers spectrum somewhere) and he has written this plan which is incompatable with family life, consisting of whopping bowls of porridge and four egg omlets most mornings, snacks seem to be chicken drumsticks mostly, meals at wonky times, which despite telling me it wouldn't interfere with family meals in the main he won't eat what we are having. He works from home so all this cooking and eating is taking place in my kitchen. Then he is having these protein shakes, which of course use the hand blender, which he leaves lying on the worktop after every use and then denies it!

He went shopping for himself and filled the fridge with veg that he didn't use, it is not rotting in the crisper section, guess who will have to clean that out!

He is fancinated by the change in his muscles, which is fine, but his belly isn't getting any smaller. I asked if he was going to do some cardio work to shift the lard and strengthen his heart (afterall he did spend £200 on a cross-trainer that he only uses for a 5 min warm-up) and he told me to stop be a "know it all"!

Then there's the state of the kitchen! Before starting this plan he decided he would take on some chores and said he would empty and fill the dishwasher at breakfast and at dinner time, since starting this plan he has stopped doing the dishwasher (although if you quizz him about it he is convinced it is still him that is loading and emptying it ) and compounded matters by creating extra dishes at mealtimes. For example this morning at breakfast he has used a pot, a frying pan, a large mixing bowl, a large whisk, a bowl, a plate, knife, fork, spoon, wooden spoon and a glass (possibly 2), just for one person. He is buying protien powder in these big drum things that don't fit into my kitchen cupboards and taking something ridiculous like 30 supplement tablets a day, which he maintains are totally safe as they are supplements.

Then there is the money, he says £100 a month on the supplements, if I take this up with him he tells me that this is his allowance money (we both have some money to spend on ourselves each month) and he just won't buy other stuff. Then his personal trainer who used to come in every fortnight at a cost roughly equivalent to my gym membership, she now comes in every week, I believe this is supposed to be his fishing money, which leads me to my next question "fishing money", I don't get "fishing money", can I have "fishing money" to spend on things other than going fishing then?

Can I also add that a whole load of shirts that he has just bought in the last couple of months now no longer fit him at the neck, thanks to this regime, and he simply thinks it is entertaining!

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MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 11:21

Sorry DH came in when I was posting.

Greebo, well done to your DH, although the getting up at 5.30am is a bit much.

Apparently my DH's trainer has told him to tell me I should be more supportive. I just about blew my top when I heard this.

He has just come home with a blood pressure monitor and is now panicing because it is reading high. Maybe he'll start to do some cardio and cut back on the meat now.

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MrsSpoon · 12/07/2007 11:01

ROFL @ Herbiemum, my DH hasn't got a bald patch but I totally get that scenario!

Xenia for once I am completely agreeing with you, I've said to him "eat less, move more, it's not rocket science".

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herbiemom · 12/07/2007 10:57

It's the way it all has to be soooo dramatic that makes me laugh - the big announcements, the flexing of the muscles, prodding of the abs, the way he leaps out of bed and prances round the room doing boxing jabs,etc while I'm supposed to look on in admiration. Yes dear - you're looking toned, fit and utterly gorgeous - shame about the bald patch...

Judy1234 · 12/07/2007 10:51

I'm afraid it made me laugh too. In stead of eating massive quantities of body builder foods he needs to eat much less and only eat normal healthy foods.

GreebosWhiskers · 12/07/2007 09:53

MrsSpoon they're all the same. My DH has been trying to get seriously back into his running off & on for the last few years. He gets up at 5:30 to run before work (setting the alarm & waking me up) then spends all day at work & is so knackered at night he can hardly manage a conversation

He did run his first race in 10 years in May (the Dunfermline 5k) & came in 6th although wasn't too chuffed with his time. He thought that this was finally the start of his comeback but since then he's had a stinking cold & is now injured so he's totally depressed & just about impossible to live with.

Leati · 12/07/2007 09:41

I am sorry but this is so funny. Men are just like this and it will drive you bonkers. Anyway...good luck

bozza · 12/07/2007 09:28

Ah MrsS DH talks the talk about a harley or project car. I am hoping that it just stays talk. He has recently bought a kit radio controlled monster truck. I see the mid life crisis signs but am hoping we keep things to this level.

MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 16:35

ROFL at your brother, bananabump and the motorbike, my DH has done much talking about how great it would be to either own a Harley or a vintage car that he would supposidly work on.

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MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 16:34

LOL, TBH I though my DH had been through is midlife crisis when he took up the guitar again a couple of years ago, looks like the crisis may not have been over afterall and is continuing. He is 35.

The personal trainer is female although I don't think there is anything dodgy going on there.

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MadMumsy · 11/07/2007 15:21

What are they like????????????

bozza · 11/07/2007 15:20

Oh that would drive me mad mrsS. Makes DH seem quite reasonable.

bananabump · 11/07/2007 15:19

Sounds like my brother. He decided after ten or so years of no excercise, that he was going running. So first he bought himself a load of rnning clothes (they need their costume first before they can become a superhero) then with no warmup, he sprints away into the countryside for about three miles.

Then "surprisingly" his legs almost gave way and he was shaking and in a right state, had to wobble his way home and felt like death for days afterwards. Then he declared "it's my age" and acted like a bit of an invalid for a while (he's 35)

No, it's not your age, it's cos you're stoopid!

I think most men go through a mid life crisis or two. My dp has decided that he NEEDS to buy a motorbike (I'm due in 3 weeks)

Men.

MadMumsy · 11/07/2007 15:18

Brilliant - the best laugh I have had for ages!!! Make the most of it - I go to the gym and my husbands idea of exercise is from car door to front door and back if he has too!!!

Wish he would encourage me to attend the gym more and come along with me.

As for the personal trainer - is it a he or she??? Just a thought!!!!

JoshandJamie · 11/07/2007 15:06

Your rant made me smile.

Men - they can never do things in half measures. My DH decided a while back to run a marathon to get fit. Then he did another and then another. Then, just like that, it all stopped. He has not done one bit of exercise since. That was 4 years ago.

I'm just waiting for the NBT (the Next Big Thing)....ps he turns 40 this year so no doubt it'll be coming soon.

herbiemom · 11/07/2007 14:12

Oh God - they're so sad aren't they? 'Mid-life crisis' anybody?

I'm now awaiting the next 'announcement' as it's been a while since the last regime and we've just got back from holiday so DP's moaning about his lovehandles.

MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 12:56

Nooooo! I don't know if he's winding me up but he has said he will have his bodyhair waxed and use that paint on tan stuff (the stuff that washes off), get a few photos taken at the end of the 8 weeks.

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suezee · 11/07/2007 12:48

lol u'll have a cupboard full of fake tan next....he'll be competing

MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 12:41

ROFL! Yes he bought a smoothie machine (despite me telling him he could make smoothies in the Magimix) and for a while he was replacing meals with smoothies and declaring it the best thing ever, I of course was being a "know it all" again as I said that I didn't think this was a great idea and fruit although good for you was high in natural sugars/carbohydrate. He ignored me for a while and covered the sink in dried on flecks of fruit (he did wash the smoothie machine so I should be grateful for small mercies) until his trainer told him more or less word for word what I had said, he listened then! Grrrr!

I think my DH will stick at it for the 8 weeks, he is that type of guy, it will be all or nothing. LOL at your DH and rock hard abs, I've had that already from my DH but mostly it's the arms that get talked about and paraded.

Don't get me wrong I do want DH to lose weight and get healthy I just don't want a bodybuilder in the house, they are self obsessed pains in the butt.

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herbiemom · 11/07/2007 10:58

Oh poor you - I know all about the 'fitness regime'. DP makes grand announcements every few months about the new 'regime' - which consists of him giving up smoking, not drinking unless he's out socially, cycling everywhere, eating only fish, asian cuisine and vegetables and fruit.

We usually get about a week of him being very grumpy (no cigarettes), very messy (making smoothies and leaving bits of fruit/dirty blender/dirty glasses,etc all over the worktops all day), very boring ("look at my stomach - it's rock hard, I'm wasting away" and "you should try this, I feel great").

Then after a week or so it's all forgotten about - he's smoking, drinking, eating everything. And each time I have to pretend to be supportive and enthusiastic for him.

Do you think your DH will stick to it?

MrsSpoon · 11/07/2007 10:19

Oooops, sorry that's quite a ramble, but I do feel a bit better now.

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