Relative almost proud to "have to" claim benefits

Madmumsy, you are joking surely?

I totally agree with you Shoshable. I have worked, never claimed a bean. Everyone can do it its just some refuse - again they are just lazy

oh fgs at all this

people get so bloody resentful if they think someone might be being given anything more than them. Not unlike my toddlers, really.

I think you'd have to be a bit daft really to work if it leaves you financially worse off. I wouldn't do it. How would that be fair on my kids? What would be the point, given that these jobs aren't exactly cv builders.

Its also easy to be worse off in work when you factor in housing and council tax benefits, free school meals, etc. And a lot of people ime don't want to be on tc because of all the asociated problems with payment, which is fair enough really, when you are reliant on it.

oh and if nlnn did the superviser job she'd probably still be on benefits. tax credits. And quite a lot of them.

If working would make her lose her benefits and give her less money can you really blame her. I hardly think you relative is making it rich on benefits. Of course since I don't live in the UK I can't be sure. I know here when people recieve benefits it not even enough to live on.

To be really honest..Not trying to be insulting...but why do you care if she recieves benefits

I pay my taxes(and they are alot) and I figure if some of the money goes to help a few good causes then at least something was gained. I don't pass judgement on others for not doing the same.

loving the sweeping stereotypes of people on benefits

i take it most of you have never been on benefits? well it's not the piss easy life most people seem to think it is, in fact it's bloody miserable, you are all seeing the outside of peoples lifes not what it's really like for them

i'm sure most people would look at us the same way, DP has not worked for a year due to PTSD as we don't generally advertise this fact to people i'm sure they just assume that he 'chooses' to sit on his lazy arse, i'm sure people wonder why I don't work (pretty impossible for DP to look after DD when he could barely leave the house for 6 months)

yet, we have a very nice house, big tv etc, people seem to forget that we bought these things before DP stopped working

we went on a foreign holiday last year, but it was paid for by DP's mum who is quite well off

we bought a new laptop the other day, after DP sold both of his motorbikes that he bought when working as we couldn't afford to run them anymore

i know and have been told that people wonder how we seem to have more money than those who work ex hours etc etc one couple in particular feel so strongly about that they think it's ok to mention it whenever we buy something or they come to our house

what is it about being on benefits that suddenly means you are open to public judgement?

and it's not just you who are paying for us, the whole bloody country pays taxes and we all use them, I hope some of you don't have to climb down off your high horses anytime soon and join us down here, it's not a pretty place you know

I'm not sure, but I think you are the girl who got out of France, you had the guts and determination to get out of that situation. Do you speak french (I assume so) what about translation. It can be done at home, via the Internet, it would be a alternative.

Yes for me one of the alternatives ^was6 to work as a childminder, it earned me a income, without having to pay childcare, and so that i could be with my son, later I worked as a TA within his school, again meant i was with him in the school holidays. I worked as a cleaner at one time, and it is not at minimum pay, especially now, I pay my cleaner £8.00 per hour, and considering I get £3.25per hour as a CM, think that is pretty good! These are real ways of getting off benefits,, ways that can fit in with your own children, maybe not what what you might want to do, but they are alternatives.

A friend started up her own business recently doing websites again could work around her children from home, and is now earning enough to come off benefits, another proof reads.

Yes Childcare id bloody expensive, especially if you have more than one child, but there is child tax credits to help, back in the 80's there was NO help with child care.

I know if I hadn't worked I would have gone under, I came out of a violent marriage, shortly after losing a child at birth, with no money, a child, no qualifications, and a home to provide.
Being able to support my son and myself, gave me back my self esteem.

I really don't mean to pick on just you but could you perhaps list those alternatives? In real terms not ideal.

All i am saying is there are alteratives to being on benefits and feel that ssupporting yourself gives you a great self esteem. In 1980, benefits wernt like they are now either. There was no csa and DS's father did not pay mainteance, so it was down to me.

should those who didn't do what you did not be proud or are you not going that far?

anewlife if you notice, i said i was a childminder throughout my sons young life just so i could spend as much time wioth him as possible, and yes i had help with childcare, but even when i didnt (my mother and grandfather both died before ds was 12, i still juggled everything and did a ou degree, and yes am proud i worked my arse off

Agree with Aimsmum, being a single parent is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
You are the only person responsible for however many kids 24/7, there is no one to share childcare with, drop offs and pick ups, housework etc etc etc.

I personally am knackered most of the time now, so god knows what I will be like when I do find a job.

I am prepared to be worse off, if it helps me get a job that I want, but as I can't afford to be worse off, this could only ever be temporrary and hopefully long enough to give me the experiance that the world and their wife seem to want, when applying for anything from brain surgeon to cleaner.

Oh purlease - it is waaay too easy to congratulate oneself on a fantastic work ethic, as if you are one of the few that has a good one, when you have help. Will you still be patting yourself on the back when you don't have free childcare and so reluctantly make the choice not to work because it costs more emotionally and financially to have the kids looked after so you can go and earn minimum wage cleaning rooms and serving food?

People who have claimed benefits can have a good work ethic too. Unemployed people can have a fantastic work ethic. Stop holding this idea up that if you work your arse off and barely have time to parent your own children it's a really good thing. Similarly, sitting on one's fat arse and doing nothing in the way of work and making like you have no choice is equally short sighted but job does not equal 'good person'.

No job does not equal lazy twunter. Some people here just don't think outside the box.

Thought you workers would like that phrase - make you feel at home.

Message withdrawn

If she takes on a job that is less than 16 hours then yes she could be worse off.

I have just applied for a job that will make me worse off, but I am so desperate to get into work that this is the only way.

I don't disagree that it's irksome, but it isn't surprising in the least.

i was a single parent in the 80's, I child minded in the day, worked in a pub, three nights a week and as a chambermaid at weekends, yes I had help from parents and grandparents (grandad lived with me so he babysat at night), I never received any benefits or maintenance.

Glad to say that DS, now 28 has the same work ethic and has never claimed anything in his life.

YANBU btw

My cousin has 3 cleaning jobs and some months brings home nearly £1000 after tax. You can fit a job like that around school hours and work at weekends if relatives are available to babysit. If there is a will, there is a way.

nope, dont think you are being unreasonable at all.

This really annoys me - I know a young, healthy couple with one little boy - neither of them work (well he does the odd few hours)- completely lazy individuals - she claims lone parents allowance (when, in fact she obviously is'nt!), he claims the dole and works the odd day (when his father gives him work), dont have a car (drive the parents second one - not insured for this either), dont have a house (live in the parents second house, rent free I might add, while the parents work to pay the mortgage) and are now waiting to be handed "their" council house. hmm... shame, it gives a bad name to the genuine cases who really need the help.

They are a disgrace to themselves and to their child - great example to set.

To add salt to the wound - they go out most weekends, enjoy foreign holidays, new clothes, huge, extravagant presents to eachother.

OH and I both work full time and as you all know its hard work to run a house, raise children and work full time - its our fcking money paying these aseholes to sit around, smoke, and scratch their arse's all day... aaaaarrrrrrghhh!!!

Well I do have one at school and one at day nursery which I find complicates things. Sorry I hadn't registered the single bit. I do also take expat's point re not everyone can be a teaching assistant or dinner lady.

Note BIG difference in having 3 children not 2 bozza. 2 at school rather than pre school too which adds a whole dimension. Plus I am newly single. I only just cope to be honest. If I get the good job I'm after (interview this week) I will pay for help.

and i'm sure there are all these lunchtime supervisor jobs available just now.

and all these other jobs for single parents with young children.

and they're so high paying, when you lose your housing and council tax benefit you'll have plenty left to pay the rent, transport costs for work, uniforms, etc.