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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that 10pm is too late to visit someone with children?

61 replies

BHANNAE · 09/07/2007 09:27

My dh has a friend who I humour and he and his wife come to ours every monday.It started of being at 7pm but has got later and later and now is 10pm plus.They stay for 2-3hours.
I asked my dh to have a word about making it earlier and then last night he got a text saying 'its okay we know that its (insert my name) who doesn't want us to come round' The same text got sent 3 times and it was ONE in the morning.He then rang and hung up at 3am.
I am 32weeks, have a 1 and a 7 yo and my hips feel like they are on fire with the pain.At 10pm I want to be in bed.I have to be up at 7am as does dh.
I have hinted at this to his wife previously (not in a subtle way) but she goes along with her dh so no backing from her.
I feel as though I am being made to look like the baddie but I don't think I am.
AIBU to just ban them from my house now as I really can't be arsed entertaining them at midnight+ once the baby is here?
It is making me really stressed and I could not sleep last night due to him being a dickhead and texting/ringing at two hour intervals.(He rang last Sunday at midnight and I told him not to do it again as I think its bad manners-he obviously did it on purpose this week then imo)
What should I do? Today is the dreaded Monday!!!

OP posts:
Earthymama · 09/07/2007 09:38

Dp should have a word and explain that life changes when you have responsibilities and children to care for; you both intend to put the needs of the family first and will be happy to see them in the early evening but that you need to rest so will be winding up at 10 pm.

If the idiot mate kicks off, you'll just have to tell DP to use 'broken record' to get the message across!

Ther's nothing worse than sitting there seething with resentment in your home; I moved once as had got into a group who felt they could treat mine as open house.

I am quite controlling of visitors etc, and hate it if people just drop in, I like to have some warning.

Good luck with this evening, I hope you don't have to nasty...but if so....you tell 'em!!

Bananaknickers · 09/07/2007 09:37

Take it they haven't got children then ? what sort of woman would see you tired like that and go along with it?

bran · 09/07/2007 09:37

It's your dh's friend so I would let him sort it out. If they're there and you want to go to bed, then say good night and go, let your dh deal with them. Turn the ringer on the phone/mobile off when you go to bed so he can't wake you up by phoning. Your dh could tell his that you've been getting some unknown nuisance calls so your phone won't be answered between 11pm and 7am.

I sounds as though dh's friend is trying to put you in the wrong and present himself as a put-upon friend, so be extra polite and welcoming when they're there at a reasonable time and don't get drawn into any sort of argument.

NineUnlikelyTales · 09/07/2007 09:37

Gordon Bennet. Mild mannered or not, your DH is allowing this man to treat you (and him) incredibly badly and as it's his friend, he should put his foot down very firmly (preferably on the tit's head). If your DH can't see that and look after his heavily pregnant wife, he is a coward and an arse himself. Sorry I know that is harsh but you don't need this do you?

fanella · 09/07/2007 09:34

what an arrogant git!

Not unreasonable at all, if he won't listen to reason then just tell him to feck off and go ahead with your ban.

What does dh think of all this? He should be having strong words with his mate I reckon.

Phoning at 3am and putting it down? He sounds really childish to me.

FioFio · 09/07/2007 09:33

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theressomethingaboutmarie · 09/07/2007 09:33

I'd call him up nice and early (i.e. when you get up) and ask him how much he effing well likes it. Inconsiderate b&stard

Sorry - feeling quite aggressive today (happily ignored by all of the non-pregnant, fully able passengers which p1sses me off )

Original poster
BHANNAE · 09/07/2007 09:32

I agree escapefrom. These are my dh's friends which makes it difficult.I really need him to deal with it but he is so mild mannered (which is lovely on the whole)

These aren't young people, both the friend and wife are pushing towards 50 so imo should know better.

OP posts:
FioFio · 09/07/2007 09:31

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Message withdrawn

EscapeFrom · 09/07/2007 09:29

You need better friends than these - what an inconsiderate prick.

Original poster
BHANNAE · 09/07/2007 09:27

Whoops, sorry its so long!

OP posts: