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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...in not allowing my dd (8) to have all the latest gadgets??!!!

43 replies

justgivemeoneminute · 08/07/2007 18:52

My DD is 8.5yrs old - she's a bright kid and up until now has been happy with her library of books (she's a real bookworm) and our pc which she loves to use.

But she's now constantly asking for a mobile phone and a Gameboy.....just because her mates have them.

I don't see the point in buying a mobile phone because she's too young to go out/down the town etc on her own and a Gameboy, in my view, teaches her nothing and does nothing for her eyesight.

Am I right or wrong??

I let her play with her mates, she has mates over for tea, she's going away on residential trips soon, after school clubs, discos...so its not a case of me holding her back but I just don't see the point in forking out for electronic gadgets!

OP posts:
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Original poster
justgivemeoneminute · 08/07/2007 20:54

I do have dd telling me she'll save for this and that...which is fine but I'm still telling her no to gameboys, phones etc. I'd rather she went and bought herself a new book, something crafty or even bought herself a new pair of trainers. She's been going on about 'heelie' trainers and I've said no to them - they cost a bomb and I know we'll end up in A&E within a day or so!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 08/07/2007 20:51

BTW, DD bought the GBA herself with money she had saved up from various soruces. Her choice.

Bouncingturtle · 08/07/2007 20:50

Gameboys can help improve fine motor skills, but do need to be rationed carefully at a young age.
Mobile phones should wait until at least a teenager, so good for you in not giving in to peer pressure.

Hulababy · 08/07/2007 20:50

One of DD's 5yo friends has a PAYG mobile

5yo DD has recently got a Gameboy Advance. Got it to use when travelling mainly. She only plays wit it every so often, so limited play, no a problem IMO. No different to the VSmile Pocket she had previously as we select the games she is allowed and how much she can play it, and when.

Original poster
justgivemeoneminute · 08/07/2007 20:42

I'm sure gameboys, phones etc don't do any harm BUT its when I see kids permanently using them, walking along high streets with their eyes glued to gameboy screens, or playing music on their mobiles whilst walking to school....surely they don't actually need to be doing this? Maybe I am old fashioned!

I actually hate seeing kids with their noses in gameboys, mobiles stuck to their ears - I think its unsociable and rude.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 08/07/2007 20:39

It's all about limits.

You choose whether they have stuff, or they don't. Fine.

If they have stuff, then you limit the amount of time they're on it.

FWIW, mine have got gameboys (usually only used these days if we go on a journey, and they're great for this), and playstation which is used infrequently. The boys' choice these days.

Eldest does have a mobile phone. He had it for his birthday before he started secondary school. Rarely uses it, tbh. Younger two would love one, but they get the stock answer, not til you're at secondary.

oliveoil · 08/07/2007 20:38

For phones I would probably say when you go to secondary school - whatever year that is, am not up on schools yet - Year 9 is it?

then it would be a Big Thing, you are growing up etc

pyjamaqueen · 08/07/2007 20:37

I agree that they don't need a mobile phone at 8. If my dd wants to take one out on occasion, I let her borrow one from me, but I'm not letting her have her 'own' phone yet.

As for gameboy-type things, I don't think they do any harm.

oliveoil · 08/07/2007 20:35

(it is dd2's birthday next month and dd1 keeps dragging the Argos catalogue out and saying YOU WANT ALL THIS DON'T YOU DD2??" trying to get stuff for herself. So crafty, so young)

EnidJane · 08/07/2007 20:33

oh we have those too

dd1 has 'grown out' of them and donated them ALL to dd2

oliveoil · 08/07/2007 20:31

replace the words "Gameboy and Mobile phone" with "My Little Pony and Littlest Petshop" and you have my dilemma

EnidJane · 08/07/2007 20:30

lol at the black and white attitude to computer games and yet we are all on here...

get with it people some games are fantastic

and you CAN limit how much they play

I love 'em

MorocconOil · 08/07/2007 20:21

I hate all these gadgets and will resist them as long as I possibly can. A result of this is our house is always very messy as there are toys and 'making things' everywhere. People I know with play stations, gameboys etc seem to have tidy homes. I know what I'd prefer ultimately although the mess drives me crazy.

wulfricsmummy · 08/07/2007 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

oliveoil · 08/07/2007 20:19

mine are 2 and 4 so no video game things here

I hate them and do does dh but if they want one in the future, who knows?

I think some of the games are educational, are they not?

(re buggy - I used to walk to playgroup - 20 mins each way, along a main road, with dd1 and dd2. dd2 (1) in buggy, dd1 (3) walking. But I do shout for England so any movement on the hand/buggy holding front resulted in a almighty screech)

MaloryJaneTowers · 08/07/2007 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anna8888 · 08/07/2007 20:18

Buggy - we live on and near very wide, busy roads but I don't bother with the buggy most of the time (daughter is 2.8). Just hold her hand to cross the road - have been doing this for several months now.

MaloryJaneTowers · 08/07/2007 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EnidJane · 08/07/2007 20:15

i have no problem with computer games at all

in fact, when I see some of the graphics and game design of the newest games, I am constantly amazed at the invention and creativity in a way that I am not with television

appallingly written but you get my gist

Anna8888 · 08/07/2007 20:14

My stepson got a mobile when he started secondary school - he has 1 hour a month worth of calls and that's it. He hardly uses it, but it is useful to be able to contact him when he is out on his own.

My stepsons have had every games console going, and every last game. They always end up getting bored with them.

EnidJane · 08/07/2007 20:13

mine is 7.5 and has a nintendo ds

no phone until she is 12 (random age plucked from air by mother on the spot )

Quattrocento · 08/07/2007 20:12

justgivemeoneminute - In response to your original post

My two are 9 and 7. Neither have mobile phone or televisions in their rooms, although they both do have computers with regulated internet access. This allows them to chat to their friends through Windows messenger, which is free. They also have cd players.

We also encourage them to read at bedtime, so we have a rule about all gadgets being off at 8pm so that they can read until 9pm.

We don't allow Xboxes or playstations but we have relented on Nintendo DS's.

Marina · 08/07/2007 20:05

3 - we had a similar-sounding walk to ds' nursery.
But I can see that for that kind of walk others would leave it later than 3.

Original poster
justgivemeoneminute · 08/07/2007 20:01

...slightly different subject here then. What age would you allow your child to walk and not go in a buggy with a very busy stretch of main road to walk along and an unmanned zebra crossing and a walk that takes 20 minutes each way?

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Hopeitwontbebig · 08/07/2007 19:58

justgivemeoneminute - I've only read your original post. SO forgive me if this has already been said etc

My boys are 10 and 8. Neither have mobile phone or televisions etc in their rooms. We do actively encourage them to read at bedtime, which they both enjoy. They do have occasional supervised access to the internet. We also have an Xbox and they have Nintendo DS's. We do, however, ration their Xbox/DS use to a couple of hours on a Saturday and again on a Sunday. They aren't allowed to play at all during the week.

They do seem to be more and more frequently asking for more things (mobiles) and comparing what their friends have. It's a difficult one. But I just stand firm.

Just to play devils advocate... gameboys etc are supposed to be good for developing problem solving skills and hand/eye co-ordination. I believe that some schools are actually buying in consoles so that children may have some 'sessions'. Of course it does depend on the game they're playing.