...to expect other parents to have ^some^ empathy? Long & Ranty

Very early days of being mum to a profoundly autistic boy.

Adult in queue "why is he being weird like that"
me " because he is autistic. But he is having therapy and is getting much better whereas you will be ugly and thick forever"

Woman of a certain age " that boy is being very naughty. A good smack would help"
me "you're right. Lets take him out the back. You hold him - I'll beat the crap out of him"

I do know better now

I love cat64 and wigwambam?s comments at these rude people! Pmsl in fact!!!

Personally wouldn?t be upset or annoyed at a toddler unintentionally hurting my ds but would be mightlily p*ssed off if their mum was there and did nothing about it. Not with the child but with the mum. I guess its hard to get round the fact that your child looks older though as obviously people have greater expectations of an older child. I think though that if you are seen to be telling him what he has done wrong - and it sounds as though you do this really well ? that the mums of the other children should be more understanding. If not I would try a comment along the lines of cat64 / wigwambam like ?he?s 2, whats your excuse for being rude??

Yes. think of it as a definite advantage...just be short/sharp/polite with anyone who says any different....

thats ok.

dd2 scooters to school. with lots if shouts from me to say 'keeop head up, look where you are going etc'. so many people tut at her as she zooms along. usually she just falls off herself and doesnt bash anyone.

today she almost scootered into my uncle who is using a mobility scooter himself after shattering his leg in a bike accident. he jokingly said 'oh she has as much road sense as her mum' (she didnt hit him ,stopped at the road, was just being 4yrs old) i replied 'well she is just 4' he laughed and said 'so whats your excuse' lol, cheeky man!

if it had been anyone i would've said a lot more, but i knew he was joking. today she had a red jumper and white t shirt on as well similar to the school kids, oops! usually make her wear a yellow t-shirt with the red jumper so she doesnt look like a school kid.

Been reading this thread and have to admit to getting all nervy about the future of my DS. He's only 13 months but he's off the page (not just off the chart!) for height. When he is kneeling he is the same height as most of his peers. At the moment it is ok because he still has baby hair and baby features (thank goodness) but I can see a lifetime ahead of him justifying his behaviour. It brings back memories of my own childhood where I was always head and shoulders above my peers and it's very hard on the self-confidence of a child - you can't blend in to the crowd! My mum once tried to get me free in to a museum - I was 12 it was free under 16 and in response to my mum giving my age the person on the desk said "and I suppose you're only 21 madam"!!! People are very narrow minded if they haven't encountered things for themselves. Going to an all girls school I was also always cast in male roles in drama because of my height - hated it. I guess I'm going to have to grow a thick skin and think of some strategies of dealing with it as DS gets older.

My DD is tall too. She is in size 4-5 clothes and isn't yet 3 and a half. I get comments ALL of the time about how tall she is. This morning one of the soccer mums commented on the fact that her nearly 5 year old is the same height as DD.
My answer is usually along the lines of "We need to have small kids and big kids to even get an 'average' height on a chart" and "Well, adults come in different heights, why not children?" and more often I talk about the genetics of it - my family is a family of GIANTS (all men well over 6 foot tall ... my grandfather was 6'5" tall. The women are tall too - my sister 5'10 as is my aunt. I am the shortest woman at 5'7" tall)
It is boring when people talk about it, and exceedingly stressful when DD acts her age and people wonder why that 5 year old is having a wobbly in the supermarket ...
But I don't get angry. Life is too short.
I love the 'tall kids do better at school' and 'tall people earn more' theory ... will store those up for DD when she is a teenager towering over all the spotty boys in her class

LOL, though, fras, I work with a very gifted AS person who will now say, 'Am I being rude? Is this a very personal question?'

Then she'll say, 'I am sorry. But I'm not really sorry. I can't be really sorry. What is really sorry?'

ARRGGGHHH! Never mind!

I don't mind AS directness anymore, either, and much prefer it to whispers, tutts, sighs, head nodding, etc.

Just tell it like it is!

Just ask why she is still in nappies!

I will tell you she has a condition called dyspraxia and it causes motor skills delays.

AS people just move on to the next.

ds2 says what he sees as well frascati, and he has no excuse being NT. The worse one was in the Ladies in Truro cathedral, rather butch looking lady washing her hads "Mummy why's there a man in here" Me growling "there isn't" "yes there is Mummy- look".

I don't mind AS directness- completely used to that. Prefer it tbh. "why's he wearing nappies" asked directly to you is fine. DS1 has been out of them since he was 5 during the day so its a long time ago, but there were always some children who would have a real thing about it (and they didn't have AS- it wasn't done in an AS way, nore of a group huddle going on!), nor would they listen to explanations. Get it sometimes with speech stuff now, but we don't take ds1 to kids stuff much anymore so not as often!

Ah expat, so you'd know she wasn't being nasty just stating the obvious. Hard though.
The amount of times I have had to say to dd we don't say to someone that they are fat as it will hurt their feelings I do think it is sinking in just!

Fras, having worked with two AS students, I know exactly what you mean!

I completely agree with your non-labelling approach LA.

I do not think you should tailor your parenting to suit other parents, however, I wonder if perhaps it would be appropriate to acknowledge that your ds (who is very young, but as you have stated IS bright and energetic) is capable of hurting other children without intending to do so. Therefore, it may be wise for you to be available to intervene, not to tell your ds that his naughty but to gently explain to him that he IS tall and strong for a two year old and that he needs to be careful of other people, because he could hurt someone by accident.

My ds is similar and I think it is simply reassuring to other parents to know that you are acting as your child's conscience when he is too young to have developed one for himself.

Tall people tend to earn more too and are more likely to get to senior positions too so may be his time will come.

This has been an issue for years. When I was little I remember my mother telling us about a boy who looked 2 years older than he was and who was expected to behave 2 years old. What about buying T shirts with a large slogan saying "I am two"

Thing is my dd would probably point out if an older child had a nappy on but that is because she has AS and says what she thinks. Just another side to things!

And still in nappies!

First OT assessment 23 July - woohoo!

DD1, 47 inches. 2.5 st.

dd2 is 3stone. and 48inches. same height as my 7.5yr old.

I'm waiting for that one, gess.

oh I hate it when children point out/laugh at older children in nappies. It makes me

That's good to know, misdee, because once we move all we'll have is a Tesco.

DD1 is very slender and things do fall off her.

I usually have to leave three buttonholes on her trousers before they fit her.

At her birthday party there was another girl a couple of months older. Same height but this girl was 4 st. to DD1's 2.5.

they also have adjustable waists

i buy dd2 trousers from tecos and next, as she needs the length but is pretty slim, so everything falls off her.