To worry that DS 13mo may have ASD or something else?

Agree with others he sounds like he could have ASD. It’s good you’re looking into interventions and diagnosis now so you’re ready when he’s old enough to be diagnosed. The lack of interaction is a big sign, but speech not so much (DS did not speak until 15 months).

at this stage it's more about missing milestones!

Do you mean physical milestones? My son did everything on schedule, or early -smiling, rolling, crawling, walking etc.

I have a 12 year old with suspected ASD and was expecting to say its too early to tell but those do sound like early indicators.

My DS is the loveliest little boy I could have wished for, he is blissfully happy at home in his own world but hates school. School has been a challenge - he hasn't got a diagnosis so in earlier years we had teachers argue it was bad behaviour. An Ed Psych disagreed with them and as he has got older its so obvious he's ASD no teacher now longer questions it - took 15 teddies to school each day at 10 who he would arrange each day, dancing at his favourite number etc though I did get a call from Head the other day saying he's barking like a dog as distressed hands over his ears is that an asd thing or just behaviour?

They can be very happy - he also has good friends but is very cautious about making them but they are really lovely. He does always have identical categories of friends and tells me he seeks identical friends, often gentle intelligent Asian boys and quiet girls. Think some of louder kids do tease him though school are good at dealing with it, only serious case we've had, other boy disappeared permanently. Mine was an obsessive cuddler but they tend to go either way.

My story is sort of a positive one I feel. At the age of 3, I was told he would never be able to. Talk, read or write. Would have to go to a special needs school etc etc

He's almost 10 now. His speech is fine. He does struggle to communicate but that's because he doesn't understand emotion very well. His speech and language therapist sees him maybe every 6 months now.

He can read. He can write. His hand writing is lovely. His drawings are AMAZING.

He goes to a mainstream primary. He has special 1:1 help and if working at a lower level to the other kids in his class but he in no way needs to be in a special needs school. Secondary school is a different matter, it's my next hurdle with him. But we will be fine.

He was diagnosed aged 5. He's just got there in his own time in all honesty.

My advice to anyone who thinks they may have an asd child is don't push them. They do everything in their own time. My son just learnt to ride a bike a few months ago. Yes it's a lot later than the majority of kids but who cares? He can do it now! And I couldn't be prouder.

I honestly used to drive myself mad with trying to get my son to do stuff. All those things I used to spend hours and hours trying to get him to do, he did eventually.

I'd definitely recommend the drop in if you can find one, they are usually very informal, no appointment needed etc etc.

Also I'd try the tv thing. You mention your son struggles to look at you. My son used to be the same. However the tv he sat and watched no problem. He could learn words by not really having any communication with me - if you get me, like looking at the tv and just listening to my voice. I used baby tv on sky. They say too much tv is bad but it's tv that taught my son to speak!

I totally understand what you mean about him talking in full sentences. That's all I wanted my son to do. Even if he does have a delay in getting there, he will still communicate with you in his own way and you will be able to communication back with him. Honestly your bond with him will end up being closer than you ever thought it could be

I think the best thing to do is to try and see the Portage team that a pp mentioned. I think you can self refer. We’ve had a few appointments and they do some of the legwork for you ie chasing up appointments, referrals etc. I can’t fault them.

Just want to mention that my HV has been bloody brilliant. It’s unfair to tar them all based on some people’s experiences (my HV with my older child wasn’t that good so I know it’s swings and roundabouts) but I would make them your first point of call

Find out if you've a local support group as well. My ds was diagnosed at 9 after me rattling doors for years. He's now getting ready for his GCSEs this summer and a delightful chappy most of the time.

Should also mention we got a speech therapist too from this drop in clinic. I'd really advise you to have a look and see if there is anything similar in your area.

I was you 9 years ago. In my case, yes my son is autistic. I knew from a baby. He was diagnosed aged 5.

Health visitor was convinced he was fine. Took him to the gp who was also convinced he was fine however did refer us to a paediatrician. The wait was 8 months.

Where I finally got the ball rolling was actually going to a drop in speech and language clinic at my local community centre. From a quick chat with a therapist, we were immediately given a hearing test and referred to portage which was amazing. He was 2 when we got this.

I haven't read all the comments and I'm in no way saying your son does have asd. I just thought I'd share my experience. I have had 2 children since. My daughter is non asd. My 6 month old....I'm constantly looking for signs.

Also, does he like to watch tv? I taught my son to say words through the tv. Sounds daft but it worked. Basically we would sit and watch it, when something came on the tv (cat, dog, car, train etc etc etc) I would pause the tv and say the word.....and gradually he began to try say the words.

Good luck op x

actually, I would run this via the GP. In my experience, HVs have very little to no understanding of this kind of atypical development. HVs failed us terribly and I know of many families with very similar experience. Call HV for weaning advice but with this kind of issue, I would make an appointment to see the GP.

Could be, but also may not - too early to diagnose. But we did see differences from birth looking back, and the lack of words was noted at clinic visit for 15 month vaccinations when we later looked through her records. We went back at 2 and had various testing and an early intervention programme from 2.5, being diagnosed at 2 3/4.

He’s 10 now, and does come for a cuddle now. It’s a brief, stiff kind of ‘bloke hug’ but I’ll take that!

When DS was that age he had no interest in cuddles. I remember being so sad about it. I developed a little trick....I sat in front of the washing machine when it was on (effectively blocking his view) then I used to hold him in front of me with his head looking over my shoulder so he could see. If I was lucky he would relax into me with his head on my shoulder. A cuddle! Sort of!

It’s a schedule of growing skills assessment. They should do one between 12-18 months depending on when the developmental check is. If your child scores less than his age in 2 or more categories then it’s normally indicative that further helpnis needed.

Sorry to say it but it truly is a battle. My advice is trust your instincts and push for every assessment and help you can think of.
We’re only at the start so I can’t really advise much on the process but it’s something you have to fight for if you believe there’s cause for concern.

In your initial post you could be describing my ds. He’s 20 months now but at 15 I contacted the HV as I was worried. Luckily they’ve taken me seriously despite his age and we have lots lined up to get the ball rolling.

Have you had a SOGS test done? I’d be asking for an assessment from the hv asap. If if does turn out your ds has additional needs then early intervention is key.

I agree that while you can't tell definitely he does sound like he might be on the spectrum, especially with the family history. I'd definitely get advice from an autism charity before you know for sure.

My son was like this. It was a few years ago. He did not talk either. His speech was very slow. would say the same words. Didn't point or clap. So many things and my daughter had meltdowns for socks and anything sensory until she was around 6 at least. She had red flags well in today's society more so as back then ASD wasn't as well known. Today they are both doing fine and expert's in their line of work. They have friends and my son had a partner. My daughter is enjoying travelling around working and nothing fazes her now. It was just stages of childhood for them anyway. I'm not saying there isn't anything but please please don't worry too much. Health visitor will probably say too young. My son at school came in leaps and bounds and no one could believe the change in. He never looked anyone one in eye that pre school said they still had to wait and see. He came Into his own. They will not diagnose that young for many reasons and it's a good thing as I do think today people so badly want to put labels on different stages and transition of childhood. There is a great read on the professionals take a long time to diagnose. The human mind and body changes so much during the early years. Speak to HV by all means but I will say from years and years of experience of mine and others it's not unusual.

I could have written your post.
Go with your gut and flag it with the health visitor.
Early intervention is critical and if a child gets the right support from an early age, they have a higher chance of having less hurdles in later life

Ds was obsessed with wheels as well, played with the wheels of his toys. Did not ask to be picked up or point to show interest, or wave goodbye. He also spent ages standing waving objects backwards and forwards in a very deliberate manner. These were all things that were early markers for autism.

He used to rock himself in the car seat and was obsessed with the washing machine. Ds did not meet the 50 words by 2 milestone. He was exceptionally good physically.

DD did not wave, or point, or ask to be picked up either. She did not talk a lot until just before two.

Ds was diagnosed at age 4, I delayed going to the GP in case they said it was terrible twos.it took just understand year.

DD did not get diagnosed until age 12. She masked better. Go and raise it with your GP and take a list of your concerns.