To worry that DS 13mo may have ASD or something else?

Just seen this is a really old post I’ve replied to.

How is your son now?

@Februaryblooms how is your little boy doing? Xx

Your health visitor should refer you to audiology for an updated hearing test - it’s one of the first things they do. Easier to rule in/out hearing problems.
I’ve been through everything in my mind - hearing, sight, did he bang his head too hard when he was learning to walk? Is it brain damage? Am I a shit mum? It’s normal to think like this. But the fact is you can’t know what’s up without help which is why it’s brilliant that you’re getting the ball rolling.

Re your last post - baby’s that age don’t know how to be ignorant/stubborn.

My dp sounds a bit like yours - he refuses to admit that ds could be on the spectrum and uses the ‘hes Just ignorant’ and even my anxiety as an excuse for how he behaves. Trust your instincts x

@februaryblooms some games I play with ds which have been successful in terms of keeping his attention and interaction is turn taking games (rolling a ball, car down the ramp, making sure you say ‘mamas turn, ds turn’) also ‘ready steady, go!’ Type games.
He also loves popping bubbles, and when I blow up a balloon and let it go he runs to where it lands and brings it back to my hand. Just a few ideas that might come in handy.

My son is 2 years and 1 month and isn't speaking independently .... he copies nurseries rhymes when watching them and communicates my grunting or runnninh to the kitchen I always meet his needs .. but he isn't saying any words by himself ... he is very affection and gives you eye contact but he does prefer to play on his own and does not like much noise.... he has little traits and I have raised my concerns at his 2 year check and he's been referred for a hearing test and speech therapy for now

shows empathy by crying whenever another child does (even on tv!)

It isn't necessarily empathy when a child cries when they see another child crying, often it's because it makes them feel upset, but not because they are concerned for the other child, if that makes sense?

No worries Oldbrownshoe, I think I will always feel some guilt over this. You are right though I think attitudes were not as supportive back in the eary 2000s. He started reception in 2008 and his teacher told us he was 'different' but never once offered any advice or support. I really had no idea about autism at all!

As he has grown up I have learnt more and educated myself about ASD and it all began to make sense to us. The diagnosis pathway isn't easy but I'm glad he is on it now. I don't expect anything to change much even with a diagnosis but even if it helps him understand himself a bit better it will be worth it.

Good luck on the diagnosis pathway with your child too.

No I’m sorry @Punxsutawney my comment was unnecessary. Was just wound up by what mrmakersfartyparty post and projected.
I’m glad your son is getting the help he needs now, you’re a good mum for helping him, and there’s no way of knowing if having a diagnosis would have made his life easier, or it could have even singled him out and made it worse. I have a 16 year old and I know even back in the early 2000s attitudes were just as bad towards asd then.
I wish you lots of luck

School can access the same support and get EHCPs without a diagnosis. Mine is 12 and we are awaiting diagnosis but he always has had support including a full time 1-2-1 at one stage. A diagnosis protects against some discrimination but adds some, they can't join forces etc though I don't want mine in forces but don't agree with choice being taken away. It also takes 2 years to get and your child is still the same. I wouldn't discourage anyone seeking a diagnosis but its not a magic cure, brings no help at all automatically.

I guess you are right Oldbrownshoe. As a mum I will have to live with the fact I have made my child's life far more difficult by waiting this long to pursue a diagnosis.

I never wanted things to be difficult for him and I only want him to be happy and reach his potential. We are working really hard with the school now to put in place some support to make life easier for him, it won't change the past but hopefully will make the future better.

As far as diagnosis goes....when your child has no diagnosis that's all you want as a parent. And you fight for it as that's what your instincts tell you.

But the reality is....a diagnosis means nothing. Nothing changes. A diagnosis for autism may help with funding for education (1:1 help etc) but that's all.

A lot of my support I had stopped when my son was diagnosed and I felt I was just left on my own to deal with it. And in all honesty, I'm not the only one. The majority feel this way.

It is guilt inducing, but in my eyes there’s no excuse. I can speak as a mum of a child currently going through the process of being diagnosed, but I suppose my feelingns towards this come from being an adult who was diagnosed with aspergers aged 26, even though my parents knew there was something different about me but didn’t do anything about it as they didn’t want the stigma of having a disabled child (not implying that’s the case)

Our 14 year old is currently being assessed for ASD. It does upset me when people think we haven't done our job properly as parents to wait until now. He seemed to be coping until secondary and the teenage years hit. I do feel plenty of guilt for not looking into this earlier but there are lots of children that don't get a diagnosis until later. We have let him down but we can only look forward and do our best for him now.

A few weeks ago I went to an ASD workshop that our health authority run for all parents whose children are on the diagnosis pathway. Nearly every parent there had a secondary school age child.

Hi
Just a few thoughts, all your interactions are useful, so just try to make them meaningful. You've got his attention whilst you're feeding him so chat and sing to him, count the spoons or say just one more. You're probably doing all these!
Record some nursery rhymes so you can concentrate on a few that might appeal. Ie wheels on the bus, have a box of props for each chorus, he may be able to get the right one or you sing what he gets.
Have you got a rear facing pram so you can babble at him whilst you're walking.
Use wheels in paint or sand, use what he likes to draw him in.
Nursery rhyme groups etc would be great, have a work with the owner etc and explain he won't sit yet, is there a group that could accommodate that.

My 5 year old son has ASD. He was diagnosed at 2.4 years but I had been raising concerns with the HV at about 15mths. He is still non verbal however is developing some language and is in mainstream school with support.

OP it’s hard. At his age it could be perfectly normal or signs of ASD only time will tell. The most helpful thing I have been shown / researched is intensive interaction. Basically you do exactly as they do. If they make a sound you copy. If they roll on the floor / drum on the table / shake a toy you copy. The idea is you show your child there is a world outside of themselves and they can interact with it without putting to much pressure on them.

I have a ASD child and a NT child (DS2). Now we have DS2 I realise the differences in my older son were obvious from a much younger age. However DS1 is an utter love machine . He lives for kisses and big squashy cuddles I have no concerns about our bond whatsoever. Your love for your DS shines out of your posts. Whatever the outcome both you and him will be fine together

I agree, pushing for diagnosis is only going to get you a diagnosis if your child actually meets the diagnostic criteria for having ASD.

And doctors don’t rush into diagnosis’s either. Even a quick diagnosis is likely to take months at least.

I agree, a diagnosis is not easy to get and a child will only be diagnosed if they are autistic. The assessment process takes a long time, 2 years for my DS once he had been referred and getting a referral is often not straightforward. Too many HV’s / GP’s / Nursery/school staff etc don’t have enough experience to spot the signs and a “wait and see” approach wastes valuable time to get the right support in place. If there are concerns then they should be investigated by professionals with the experience to do so.

They don’t just diagnose people willy nilly.
I was speaking to a woman who was still fighting for her 13 year old when there had been concerns since she was 5!

I’m sorry but if you have concerns that your child is not developing ‘typically’ then you’re not doing your job as a parent if you adopt the ‘wait and see’ method - the earlier the intervention the better it is for the child. OP is doing the right thing. And if it turns out that it’s a delay rather than a diagnosis then great! I’m sure I don’t speak for everyone but that’s the preferred outcome for many parents. So you can piss off with your ‘anecdotes’ and count yourself lucky.

A child doesn't get a diagnosis by a parent just pushing for one.