what is a reasonable time for dh to get home?

Why do people work? To make money to live so why would people want to stay at work and never see their kids if they didn't have to? This to Xenia btw saying 8-6 is part time. Maybe for people who don't care about their children it is but for others they'd rather see their children. You can't buy your children's love and affection and future happiness with money.

So the solution to a child not seeing enough of one parent is to make sure she doesn't see enough of either parent! I'm losing the will to live!

It is hard isn't it? Those hours are great comapred to some. Can he bring some of his work home with him? Try to understand he is just trying to provide, as long as he isn't out drinking or anything.

Dh has always got home between 6 and 7.30 and always puts ds to bed and baths him if it's bath night and reads him a story. Ds goes to bed and has always gone to bed later than his peers but we just think the most important thing is that he sees his dad as much as possible.

Last night dh got back at 10 p.m. so if it's late I put ds to bed. But it was the same when he was tiny, we were a bit flexible with bedtime. But I know lots of people are much stricter which I'm sure has loads of advantages.

oh don't post here bozza, we are all clearly deluded and potless

get yourself a proper job from 7am-9pm, it's a win win all round

What a surprise. Xenia do you ever think some women are happy to stay at home and actually raise their own children? I do and I'm not returning to work until they're all at school because I want to and because we can afford it. Best thing for us as I said before, time is more important than money. Can't buy time back with your kids but you can always make money. Maybe there is another solution other than what you think but I dout you ever consider that. Actually I wonder if you even mean what you say as you never take into account what is writen. It takes more to think of new things to say than it does to repeat things over and over in response to everything.

One of the many reasons we co-slept with dd was thatr at the time dp was working ridiculously long hours and was very rarely home before 8.30 in the evening. Sharing a bed meant that they had cuddles and got to know each other even if he wasn't around much in her awake time sduring the week. We also made sure that he had some time alone with her every weekend (well, that's why I said that I wasn't going to come swimming with them!) and they have a really close bond. I think, actually, that unpredictable daddy-home times are worse. If you know he isn't going to be home or if you know he is you can plan accordingly, but if you don't know..

xenia she does work.

Sounds pretty good to me I'm afraid!

My dh has to leave by 7am, and if he makes it home by 7.30 at night, that counts as 'early'.

For the job he does, I know that is more than reasonable. My mum however thinks it's outrageous - her expectations of my dad when we were younger were v different!

The important thing is I know dh gets home as soon as he can. My ds is 8 weeks - sometimes dh is here for bath and bed, sometimes not. It's frustrating and I know he hates missing out, but that's the way it is.

I will put my hand up to getting a bit hormonal sometimes when he is late though...

part time hours and pittance?

rofl

will inform dh he is a pauper then, oh dear, poor man

I have to agree with the poster who said it's like being a single parent...
My dh leaves at 6.30am and doesn@t get back until 7.30-8pm. Ds goes to bed at 7pm.

I am pg atm and can't see when the baby's born how I can ask him to do the night feed at all in the weeks as he works such long hours and those bill really do need to be paid!

We comprimised

1. He phones just before bedtime so ds and he can 'chat about their day' this was difficult at first but now they are like old women gossiping (I know this isn't for you atm but re the future)
2. I email him during the day to make sure I can envolve him in important decisions.
3. Saturday morning is ds/daddy time when they plan together what they are going to do -ds is 3. I have a rest/clean house (same thing isn't it?)
4. We eat together as a family for everymeal at the weekend.

Sorry to go off topic for a bit but just wanted to show you there can be comprimise.

Read the second post Xenia.

It really is a conditioned reflex with you isn't it!

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The contention comes because you don't work. The solution is to return to work so you and he alternately have to be home by a certain time. All the resentments will fade away too. A win win solution.

8.30 - 6 is almost part time hours for a lot of people. You're very lucky unless I suppose he earns a pittance.

What time is he getting up? Could your DH go to work later and stay later but have the time together in the morning?

Actually both of mine went to bed nearer 8 at that age. But now at 6 and 3, DD is always in bed, lights out at 7.30, and DS usually is but we might spend a bit longer reading.

when I work (3 days), girls eat at 5ish, we eat at 7ish when they are in bed

when I am off, we all eat together at 5ish

if dh is late, his is cold , he is not bothered, children stop whining and it takes the pressure off with you clock watching and getting annoyed

rabster - when mine were small, they were in bed for 6.30pm or so, very tired so I would just go with it for now, when baby is older you can move bedtime later

My dh finishes work at 5.30 most days and is home at 6. He could work in London and commute like he used to but he'd rather see the children. Just our choice as we both think time is more important than money to a certain extent. We can pay the bills and live a happy life and that's enough for now while the children are small. When I go back to work (when they're older) we'll have more money and we have plans for investmens and paying the mortgage off within a few years so we're happy this way for now.

8.30 to 6 sounds very reasonable to me. Particularly as you work only two days a week. I know a lot of couples who both work these hours full time. It doesn't sound as if your husband is deliberately trying to avoid his share of responsibility - if he was trying to get out of looking after your dc, he'd be staying out a lot later than 6!

Oh forgot to mention sometimes DH is away overnight which throws all the routine to pot, because I have to wait for nursery/CM to open which means I get to work later, which means I have to finish later etc.

And cod bear in mind that the OP is not a SAHM.

er, if you can that is - obv if BFing the baby to sleep then he would be a clever dad if he was able to take over

I agree with Lucy, if he's home in time, you hand over the baby and let them muddle through bedtime together.

Take yourself downstairs and crack open the wine.

My DH is usually home by about 6, sometimes earlier. He usually goes out about 8 ish. I work 3 days, and on the days I work I leave the house at 7.20, which means DH has to give the children their breakfast and clean their teeth and take them to nursery/childminder. But it also means that I can finish at 4.30 and get both children collected and home by 5.30 and have the tea on the table for us all by 6.

It sounds like part of your problem is that your DH's hours are badly clashing with your DS's.

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