what is a reasonable time for dh to get home?

xenia......right with you 'till the 'unpaid slave thing', then yawned and gave up reading.

yada.. yada.. yada...

My father, a doctor, did baths and bed time stories virtually every night nad came home to lunch with us at mid day. Usualyl he would read to my brother or play chess and mmy mother read to my sister and me but it varied over the years.

Yes, the more senior people are the easier it can be in some jobs to get the hours you need although not always. Sometimes you have to set an example and some men and women lie to their partner about whey they are late. I used to work with one man who would quite regularly play snooker at lunch time with a friend and then at 5 get back down to work and we'd have calls (I shared a room with him) from his stay at home wife who was really fed up - she used to be quite high up in advertising and was not the unpaid slave that is the housewife... etc... and she'd call up and he'd be lying through his teeth about urgent work or tacking extra nights on to business trips to hong kong so he had a few more child free nights. It's endemic.

My DH helps out a lot, as on Saturdays i start work at 6.30am and i'm home by 1.30pm and then i have the whole house to myself... wonderfull until at least 6pm.

Rabster,
My dh works 130 miles away, and except for weekends, sees ds for about 20 mins on a monday morning, and a couple of hours on a Friday, and lives in a hotel the other 4 nights of the week.

It is the way we live, it is what pays the bills. I wish it were different, but more from the point of view that I can't sit down with a grown-up after ds has gone to bed.

I don't think there is any real problem with your dh not seeing the baby at night times, after all, as your child grows up bed-time will get later.

Ease off a bit, enjoy your 1-1 time with your baby.

I think sometimes we can get this 'enid blyton' type view of what family life should be like, but the real world is never like that.
And at least your dh isn't sloping off to the pub until 9 or 10 at night.

No I am quite 'lucky' really specially as he has just been promoted to middle management level.

Although he does moan sometimes, he is also sad that he only sees the children for 1/2 hour in the morning and 2 hours in the evening and I know that is a lot more than a lot of Dads. He also looks after them on a Saturday while I work and we spend the day together on a Sunday.

My DH leaves at 8.40am and comes back at 6-6.30pm, tbh i do get quite stressed if he is later than that because I need another adult by then iykwim. He does moan sometimes that no other Dads help put their children to bed every night and that I am very lucky d*h**d

flymachine - ikwym - i just think that sometimes work takes over peoples lives and sometimes we need to stop and think if things can change

we have less money now but are slightly saner and happier

My DH leaves home at 8.30 in the morning and is home by 7pm at night.
Over the years my DD1 has just had later sleeping times.
When she was a baby and i was a full-time SAHM , my husband would get up first and we would stay in bed until 9.30am and during the day she would have a 2hr nap just after lunch and then we would all have our dinner together at 7pm and bed by 8.30-9pm.
It worked well for us, as if DD1 had gone to bed at 7pm her dad would hardly see her.
Now DD1 is 5yrs old and going to school i just make sure she and her sister (2.5yrs) have their tea by 5pm then i sit down to dinner with DH at 7pm or if i'm working that evening i'll have mine and put his in the oven for later.
So basically he comes home, i go out to work until 11pm and he puts kids to bed by 8-8.30pm.
Works well for us and the girls sleep through the night... so far

I think sometimes it is harder to renogociate things if you are less high flying TBH...

i think that is too late and it sounds like you dont like it either

life has changed and your dh life might need to change too - maybe he needs a different job or to renegotiate his hours?

i got so knackered doing all childcare myself that i was losing the plot - dh realy thought i would leave so changed things rapidly - one day a week working at home, working normal hours - more holiday. It was not easy for him to ask but they were fine about it - people just dont ask! he was quite prepared to leave so they agreed. He is a consultant in the city so quite high flying so i think anything is possible

I should have added DH will always go in and see dd if he gets home after she has gone to bed if he is home late.

I think most men don't do babies, dh was good when dd was a baby, but he loads better now dd is older.

I understand how you feel my dad used to go to work before i was up in the morning and came home after i was put to bed, i don't think have any memories of him before i was 5yrs. I also don't think affected our relationship.

Rabster - believe me I know it is difficult. Can be worth trying to change in tiny increments 10 or even 5 mins per day.

Could you talk to DH - maybe if he feels he does need to do the hours he is putting in he could start earlier - so work 8 -5:30?

Does he seem to miss seeing DS - if so you could work on something together - if he feels he has enough time with him then you may be fighting a losing battle to get him to change - just give him DS responsability at the weekend!!

DH hours are 9am to 5.30pm

He finally get up about 8am after 15mins of me & dd shouting at him to get up he leaves about 8.15am only seeing dd (3.6yrs) for a couple of minutes.

I do the bed time routine eg dinner, bath and ready for bed on a good day he will be home before 6pm so he will get her out of the bath and ready for bed. If not dd will be sitting on the stair with her book waiting for hilm to come home, he read her her story then she goes to bed somewhere between 7 - 7.30pm.

Although just because he is at home he is still on call and may have to some work from home.

We do make sure that he will spend as much time with her at the weekend as possible.

I also avoid bedtime.Which is why I expect dh to be home in time

You need to get training him Kewcumber...

I try to as well Mozhe but DS can't reach the bath taps on his own.

I often avoid bedtimes.......