what is a reasonable time for dh to get home?

I wish my hubby only worked those hours - he leaves the house at 6:30am and doesn't get back until gone 8:00pm. He never sees dd in the week and often doesn't see me as its sometimes gone 9:00pm when he gets back and I'm tired and have gone to bed.

8.30 - 6??? Blimey. That's not exactly a terribly long day is it? My dh is out at work from 7am till gone 7pm and I've two kids at home who rarely see their Dad and would love to share with him what they've done at school etc....

If my DH worked from 8.30am to 6pm I wouldn't be moaning about it! I'd think myself quite fortunate!

I've already pointed that out, but have kept my head down since (though do agree its not terribly helpful to OP)

sorry, not helpful but LOL at morespamthanglam for saying "its like being a single parent"

its really not, trust me

sorry, i'll feck off now...hate these threads..cant say anything constructive.

Mumzarello, just seen your post and i entirely agree. it makes no difference to a baby whether their routine is 7am-7pm or 9am-9pm.
this obviously changes as they get older.

fio the ones who can do the school runa re like my dh on night shifts or a shift pattern (Dh works 13 hour dys 4 days out ofe very 8)

I think it's not unreasonable to expect your dh to make a big effort to come home if you are finding it difficult because you are shattered from broken nights etc. However once you are through that bit (if you are in a good routine at 4mths then hats off to you - my two certainly weren't asleep for the night that early that young!). If you have all settled to a reasonable routine then I think his hours are probably fairly reasonable (certainly fairly normal) also if all his colleagues are single and childless then it proably is quite hard for him to be the only person stopping "early".

I'd start with getting him always to send you a text when he gets on the trian/gets in the car to come home. I would keep to the routine that works for you and ds - your dh should try and work around that, not the other way around. Oh, and definately see if you can go for the weekend "daddy time" it is a really good way to develop a good relationship between him and the baby, and to give you some time off.

My DP doesn't get home till 7.30pm at the earliest each day.
When our first DS was tiny he used to go to bed at about 9pm so DP could see him after work (he made up for it with extra sleep during the day). This didn't change till he started nursery and had to be up earlier in the morning.
Could you not delay his bedtime a bit if your DH really can't leave work earlier?

Message withdrawn

My DH has to be in the office by 8am and if he is home by 9.00 it is really exciting. Often much later. Normally works part of the weekend too.
My friend's DH is a lawyer and often doesn't make it home (they have bunk beds in the office), so I'm not complaining!

I read with interest. My dh thinks it is the norm to leave late.

On the same day that he left

Would love DH to come home before 10!

He does work from home of Friday now so we do get a family meal together then.Also he has been away a bit lately so don't see him that much

God, I don't think those hours sound unreasonable.

My partner leaves the house just before 8am and gets back in the evening between 7.30 and 8pm and that's fabulous compared to most men I know. He does lots with the children, even after a long day at work, and hardly expects any time off at the weekend - he usually plays tennis on Sundays, so is out for about 3 hours on his own, but spends all the rest of the time with us. He does manage to sneak some time for himself during the working week, but that's fine by me.

Yesterday I was talking to a girlfriend whose partner never gets home before 9pm and often much, much later, and he always works for part of the weekend. As she said "That's the price I pay for the lifestyle I lead" .

rabster, I really think it depends on the persons job, etc...!
My dh is in the armed forces and there are, generally, no regular hours for him....nothing he can change, so, no amount of nagging from my side would change anything, iykwim

my dh doesnt usually get back till 7.30pm and is away 1 to 2 nights a week . He is hopeless if he gets home earlier as he doesnt actually do anything helpful and just gets under foot. On the rare occasions i work late and he has to feed dd who is 4 and put her to bed ,i know what she had for tea because its still all over her face the next morning .

I can't feel cross with DH as he has very little choice over the way he works. But I guess that's a vocational career for you . In my line of work, it's unheard of to work PT. The last thing I would want to do is have the sprogs suffer so that DH and I can stubbornly have the careers we want.

I don't think it can be divided like that quite so easily - I realise its the way to for DH to keep and succeed in his job whilst allowing me to sit around drinking coffee with my friends all day planning exotic holidays.

It works for us .

Actually I get cross about it but realise its the way of the world these days, having been there myself until I became an unpaid slave.

You foten see housewives polarised over this - some are cross their husbands work long hours and some realise it's the price you pay for keeping a reasonably well paid job and are grateful for his efforts earning money for the family. I wonder what puts people into which category?

Haven't read whole thread but I would be ecstatic if dh saw dd for an hour a day ! DH is gone by the time dd gets up and home after she's gone to bed - often in fact after I've gone to bed.

I don't think many people actually work a 'normal' 9-5 type day anymore do they ??

Of course, Xenia would accuse me of living off my man, doormat that I am.

DH is an NHS consultant. He is away 7am-6pm most days (that includes travel), but 1 day a week he's home at 7:30pm. Every 5th week he's on call 24 hours a day for 5 days, as well as every 5th w/e. 1 night/week he goes in after bathtime to catch up on paperwork.

Sucks. And I just hate the way everyone assumes he does private work. Like he has any fucking time for that.

I think it's like when a toddler gets a new word and is so proud they use it all the time. Currently my ds like the word 'colourful.'

'Your dress is very colourful mummy.'
'That buterfly has very ^colourful wings.'

xenia has learned the word 'slavery' and is so excited she feels she needs to use it at all oportunities.

What about SAHDs. Are they slaves too?

I suppose part-time workers like me are bonded labourers?