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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my lazy a**ehole of a hubby

31 replies

Radley · 02/07/2007 15:20

Yesterday dh wanted to go to a pub for lunch, I didn't want to go as I wanted to tidy up etc, but, in the end he talked me, round. (he wanted a couple of pints more than anything)

We were late getting home and as he has the day off today, he promised faithfully he would tidy round in the living room, do some washing and sort laundry that needs to go away.

I have just got in from work and he has done NOTHING, except open a parcel and leave all the packaging strewn about.

He has been sat on his arse watching the racing ALL day and then he went to the bookes and spent god knows how much.

Am I being unreasonable wanting him to do what he promised and help out a little on his days off (he gets ALOT more days off than me)

He will now come in from picking the kids up and disappear to pub for an hour or more whilst DD1 has her dance class, leaving me at home with this mess

OP posts:
casbie · 02/07/2007 16:23

i think you should start controlling the finances - it's harder to go down the pub/bookies/mates house for smokes when you haven't got the cash to do it with!!

FloriaTosca · 02/07/2007 16:23

Personally dont have this problem with my DH because he lived on his own for 10 yrs and so he's grateful for everything I do.. he likes a tidy house but rather than nag me if it isnt to his standards he just gets on with it himself (I have to say his psychology works a treat on me because I work shorter hours than him and if he does more than his fair share of house work I feel horribly guilty ) BUT I did have the lazy flatmate problem when I shared a house with my brother so I do know how you feel and YANBU! However I found that even in his helpless case (Mum ruined him!) offering to do one job if he did another at the same time worked to a certain extent but only if there was a reward at the end eg "You clean the kitchen while I do the bathroom and I'll cook us the full English for breakfast" ... though there was always the you wash I'll wipe row after .
With a DH you do have a bit more leverage... you can always refuse him his nuptials unless he cleans up his half of the bedroom

MamaD · 02/07/2007 15:37

Sadly it's not just the men that go from their mothers to wives.

My dh left home at 19 to join the Army.
Got married at 25, divorced at 35
Married me at 38.......

....... and STILL doesn't lift a finger around the house.

I thought he was a safe bet - been there done that etc - but no muggins here does it all, coz if I don't, it doesn't get done.

YANBU and he is an arse, but sadly I doubt he'll ever change....

Tanee58 · 02/07/2007 15:33

I always think it's a Bad Idea for men to go straight from living with their mothers to their wives/girlfriends. They never get used to living on their own.

You'll have to train him that it's NOT on to leave you to pick up after him. Maybe going out and leaving him to it might drive the point home - or clean up your own and children's messes and leave his mess - his washing up, dirty laundry etc, for him to deal with.

Original poster
Radley · 02/07/2007 15:30

I didn't know he was like this, he lived with his mam until marrying me.

I have a good mind to say I'LL go to the pub, he can stop at home with dd2 and do the tidying he promised.

OP posts:
heifer · 02/07/2007 15:29

of course YANBU, but I really don't understand why so many of you ladies on MN marry men like this!

You must have known what he was like before you married him..

Tell him to pull his finger out - or else...

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