to not want MIL's dog in the house with my baby

YANBU! I wouldn't have the filthy critter in my house, baby or otherwise...

I agree with whoever said your mil is not a good dog owner. she is neither good for the dog nor good for the people around her. people like her give dogs and their owners a bad name and make dog-lovers like me mad. she needs to tackle the chewing thing and the barking thing (long term I know, maybe she is trying...). it's just not tenable to have a dog that won;t be left alone at home and which refuses to be sent into the garden/kitchen for an hour. My brother has an excitable dog but it's no excuse - consistent care and training and huge amounts of exercise, along with reasonable expectations of the dog, especially round children, means said dog is never a problem/never put in a situation where it might be. she needs training classes. (they are as much for the owner as for the dog...)

can I ask if the thing gets walked much? does it get walked whilst she's staying with you? A collie needs a lot of exercise and if it's not getting any that will be part of the problem. you should build into your compromise an agreement that it gets plenty of walks whilst she's staying.

also - don;t worry about germs and hairs - difficult if you're not a dog person I know, but from what you;ve said these are the least of the problems - your dd is pretty unlikely to pick up anything truly nasty from the dog.

Its your house and therefore you (and dh's) rules so regardless of whether you have a small baby or not you are not unreasonable if you don't want such an out of control dog in it.

I think you nee to talk to dh about this before her though as its important you can find a compromise you agree on. Leaving it outside is a good one. You could always get it a kennel (if you can afford it) so she can't go on about it having nowhere to go.

And you're not stopping your mil getting to know her grandchild. She is stopping that by refusing to be reasonable and respect your wishes. For the record I would feel exactly the same and I like dogs and have no negative experiences of them.

I have 2 dogs and I would never leave either of them alone with my ds. One's a labrador who is fantastic and the other is a Jack Russell, also fab but not to be trusted.

My JR chews my house BUT it is my dog and, therefore, my responsiblity. Wht can't she crate the dog when she leaves it as we do to stop the chewing. My JR loves it as he knows when we get home we are always pleased to see him as he can't have done anything naughty!!

Our dogs also only allowed in the kitchen (baby gated off)not allowed in the living room because of the yucky hair thing.

Mu mil smokes, yes outside, and smelt of fags when she held my ds1 which I absolutely hated. I am now pregnant again with ds2 and are going to have to face this battle again as have become more stronger over my views.

Your child, your house, you decide what is acceptable for you and your family.

What happens on Mondays? Why can she leave the dog then but not on other occasions? I was under the impression that she never, ever left the dog and you'd be asking her to do something alien to her but, if she does leave the dog sometimes, it puts a different light on it. It suggests to me that she'll leave the dog if it suits her but not out of consideration for you and your baby. That seems a lot more unreasonable to me!

No you aren't. I am generally a doggy person rather than not, but no poorly trained dog has a place in a house with a small child in it. Especially if the dog is also over-indulged as it sounds.

My parents have a jack russel who they love to bits (so do we as it happens) but it was not allowed anywhere near my children when they were babies without being firmly restrained.

Tell her to tell the mutt it's Monday.

Actually her dog sounds really badly trained and possibly too territorial - sleeping on her bed ?

MIL's dog came with her to visit us, it is a yappy little toy breed with no training whatsoever, it has snapped at me on numerous occasions over the last 12 years but there is no talking to her, she will not leave it behind.
(disclaimer, I love dogs, but think they should be trained not to attack, snarl or jump up at people!)

She lunged at DD once when she was a week old and had jumped onto the sofa to have a look as I was changing her, and I batted her across the room, such a satisyfing moment. She also tried to attack me when I took DD off MIL as she was crying.
After this I had words with MIL and made it clear she was not to be left alone with DD under any circumstances and I woudl not hesitate to kick her across the room should anything happen. She is not allowed off her lead while in the house now.

I now have a stairgate up and the dog has it's own bowl in my kitchen if it needs to run around but I made it clear it is to be locked in another room if it is off the lead.
I think you should ask her to keep it on a lead or in another room but if she is going to be odd about it suggest it as the baby might hurt the dog unintentionally, you will know it is bollocks but it will have the desired result.

Good luck!

I have two dogs and think you are entitled not to have the dog in your house. Your mil knows the situation and so chooses whether to visit. End of story and do not feel guilty if she is not prepared to be flexible. It is your child and your house.
For the record I made my mother leave her two dogs at home when she came to visit our youngest adter his birth as I said there was too much going on in the house and she agreed.
Has she not a friend she can leave the dog with?

My PIL have a collie who they bring when they come to stay. Its a lovely dog but scares our cat and brings in mud and all sorts of crap from outside on its feet so I don't like it in the house but put up with it while they're here because they have nobody to leave it with.

BUT it is very well behaved and PILs make sure it is never left alone with DS and they make it lie down in the corner of the room while he is playing. So I don't think you're being unreasonable - if your MIL had the dog under control and could make it sit when its told to then maybe you could just put up with it, but if its bounding all over the place I'd ask her to keep it in another room or in the garden.

I think its polite for people with dogs to keep them under control, whether or not you have a young baby - e.g. my mum is really scared of dogs jumping up at her so friends with excitable dogs always leave them at home when they see her - I think thats just a polite thing to do.

Your house, your baby, your decision.

I can't say I'd be very happy with a bouncy moulting dog pinging round my house if I had a baby.

Perhaps she could pay a friendly local kid a couple quid to take said mutt for a walk while she visits you or get a friend to "dog sit".

I have a daydream of moving to a house with not-very well enclosed garden, next to a busy road. Of course we will repair the fence to make it safe for the children, after the mil's dog has escaped...

My PIL have two collies, one of which really doesn't like children.

The collies are always outside all the time when we come to visit, and if they have to bring them down here they are in the garden.

PILs are very aware that dogs are animals and therefore unpredictable and would never, ever leave my DS unsupervised with the dogs. They are responsible dog owners and I appreciate that. You are not being paranoid if you don't want an excitable dog in your house with your baby. Not only is it your baby, it is also your house and therefore your rules.

Ask her politely to leave the dog at home or in your garden. Though to be honest your MIL sounds like the worst kind of dog owner and she should bloody well get it trained and be responsible.

Not pfbs. We have two ds's and I CAN'T STAND the way the inlaws assume that we should let our 2yo and 1yo play with a dog that is 1/2 god knows what, 1/4 jack russell and (ulp) 1/4 PIT BULL TYPE.
When it used to go to lick the kids I always wanted to puke. Ugh and dog hairs on the furniture and carpets for a crawling baby to eat, bleaghgghghhg.
My friend who is a police dog handler said never ever ever have little kids near dogs as you just never know when a dog will get fed up of playing, become irritable and snap.
Of course the inlaws dog 'wouldn't hurt a fly' (they say) but we are taking no chances and of course I am unpopular, but at least DP and I are united on this.
However as we don't have a dog, and dogs are smelly things, we do have a rule that if they visit with dog, the dog is in the yard for the whole time, maybe you could try that?

Just because the dog is friendly and gentle(ish) with adults is no reason to suppose it will be with your baby. No way would i let a dog, even my PIL's very docile old collie near DS even now he's 15months because you just cannot predict how a dog will behave- and they can easily hurt a baby even by accident. Your baby and your worry free state of mind is more important than a dog. Stand your ground if it's important to you. Hope you get it sorted x

How long are MIL's visits? If she's popping round for half an hour, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her to leave the dog at home (if it chews, she needs to train it!). If it's all day/overnight, I'd be inclined to let her bring the dog but insist it stays in a different room or the garden. My MIL had a beautifully behaved dog who was gentle as anything but I still wouldn't leave him in a room alone with my kids when they were tiny. Luckily, MIL completely agreed and the dog was always in the garden or the kitchen.