That my friend left my party because there were children there

I would leave it or say thanks for being honest and sorry it wasn't the kind of party you thought it was going to be.

I would say to her exactly what you said, that you 'preferred the lie to be honest'. Then at least you and hers relationship is 'real' if hyou want to preserve the friendship.

I don't really get why everyone is slagging him off when all you describe is that he looked disinterested and was playing with his phone - sounds like normal man with no kids behaviour to me and maybe just not his kind of thing.

Yes, he knew there were kids there but maybe he said to her 'hey I cant be arsed with kids but I'll go with you cos its your friend but promise me if its really boring we can go home'.

In all honesty it sounds like SHE was uncomfortable with her man being bored and left to please him - I can't believe how many women do this.

What a pilchard!
What did he think you were going to do, banish your children to the attic and not invite anyone that might have the cheek to bring their children, what a strange man!!

He sounds like my sisters husband.

He is a controlling bastard.

He makes her cry on the way to every event, including my sisters wedding. He said he would drop her @ church & go home. She sobbed. He is a cunt, a total cunt.

They came to a BBQ here in the summer, they arrived & she had a face on her, whilst he was smiling like a chesire cat. He had put her down the whole way here in the car, made her feel like shit, then he was able to turn the charm on when they arrived here, but by that time he had knocked the happiness out of her.

Another time our aunt died & my sis was very close to her, nursing her in her final few days/hours. Her dh told her to stop crying, stop talking about aunt etc.. and he wouldn't come to the funeral to support her.

He has known my kids all their lives & my nieces & nephews too...yet he still insists on calling them "Little girl & Little boy"

Call your friend, make sure they aren't trying unsuccessfully for a child, then offer her your support.

hubby the probs, hopefully uhad a good time and so did everyone else....sounded awesome, many of us on mums net would have come....where was our invite.

The minute I read your thread, I immediately thought it was a him problem, and not her. And then, Dior comes on and describes what she has to put up with from her H ..... which is exactly what used to happen with my exH.

In other words, please try not to feel too pissed off with your friend. Right now, she's between a rock and a hard place, and if her DH is anything like my ex, it'll be a "choice" of trying to keep in touch with friends on a minimal basis, in order to keep the peace with him (or not at all), or having to put up with the mother of all sulks because she had the temerity to drag him along to a party he didn't want to go to. I bet as well that parties etc with HIS friends are a must, and he's the life and soul of the party there.

I hope you can still be there for her when they (quite likely) split up. I'm ashamed to say that my ex came between me and a group of friends who were once very dear to me. I should have been more assertive (about that and a whole host of other things) but gradually lost touch with them because he used to make it so difficult (writing this now sounds really pathetic I know). He too would normally be polite enough but then feign some imaginary headache or "stomach upset" so off we'd go - he even actually admitted as much after the event, the spoilt selfish git, when I cut short an evening at my friend's wedding reception to keep the "patient" company.

Please don't be angry with her .... feel sorry for her instead (if I'm interpreting this correctly).

Maybe she hadn't told him what to expect, deliberately even. Not that it excuses him, he just sounds rude and self centred tbh. Perhaps just invite her next time.

Text her back saying you are sorry he didn't feel they could stay longer as planned, that there must have been some misunderstanding of the nature of the party and you're sad you didn't catch up and would she like to meet you another time.

You're probably right Nightowl.

oh gawd no, he wont say anything, then he'll give his wife a rollocking and she'll be annoyed at pennies for going behind her back!

Of course, another option is to contact HIM directly and ask him why he came to a social event where the presence of children was made clear on the invite, if he didn't want to be with children. While he's trying to get his head round the fact that you dared speak to him directly, you might follow it up with, Such a pity you didn't stay at home if you felt like that, as your wife could then have enjoyed herself. Do you realise how much you spoiled it for her?

Can I join in your meet up?! I still haven't sorted out my CAT Pennies (got to the screen the other day but was too lazy to get up to get a credit card ), so can you e-mail me on icklemiracles at gmail dot com (I'll give you a 'normal' email account then, but don't want to post name on here).

Sorry to hear that your friend is married to a miserable tosser!

He sounds like a bit of an arse but it's your friend I feel sorry for. Imagine having to apologise for him everytime you see someone .

i think your friend probably feels stuck in the middle and maybe that's why she told you the real reason they left. maybe she didn't want you to think it was a lack of interest on her part.

what a tosser, sounds like he is using the kids as an excuse and he just couldnt cope with talking to her friends, my dh is a bit of an antisocial twonk but he is at least polite to everyone, well mostly. YANBU but you should think about what a hellish existance she may be putting up with

Def up for a meet up-sorry it was bounced-will CAT again with phone number...

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The DH sounds like a complete tw*t. Why couldn't he have just talked to the grown ups? I doubt anyone was pressuring him to take the lead in a rousing chorus of The Wheels on The Bus.

IME, these parties usually end up with the kids playing, the mums chatting and keeping an eye on the kids and the dads in a group drinking beers and talking footie or cars or their testicles or whatever it is they like to discuss. So it's not a big deal, I wouldn't think, for someone who didn't like children. I think he didn't want to be atthe party for other reasons too. Poor wife.

Agree with Dior and others, perhaps they hare having issues you don't know about, whether it be due to problems having kids or just him being a huge PITA.

Forget texts (hate 'em!), pickup the phone and see how she is.

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Ignore him and let it go.
Just next time you invite them remind them that you have DC!

he played with his phone the whole time he was there, but he's complaining about kids being there??

it sounds like he was in good company TBH.