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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit annoyed and upset that my childless friend is criticising my parenting?

33 replies

mylittlefreya · 28/06/2007 18:46

My 6 month old dd still wakes at night to feed, usually once or twice. She also has the endearing baby habit of occasionally thinking that 2am is a good time to play, and more often that 5am a good time to get up. This is making me quite tired, sometimes a bit low, and some of my friendships have suffered.

Including that with my best friend from school. She came - it's quite a distance - when dd was around 6 weeks old, and though I've not seen her since, have kept in touch though less frequently. In a conversation yesterday, she said that dd shouldn't really be getting up at night now, and that it was time for me to get tough, and make sure it didn't go on any longer.

There are several reasons why I disagree in principle, but mostly I just feel a bit upset that she has come out and said that. Am I being far too sensitive? Or is it reasonable to feel a bit attacked by that?

OP posts:
fryalot · 28/06/2007 18:52

(and incidentally, my 3 year old (today ) has only just stopped waking in the night and ds who is nearly 2 still does.

fryalot · 28/06/2007 18:52

try to understand that she is trying to help (even though she isn't)

just bide your time and when she has kids herself, you can sit on the sidelines and giggle to yourself at her mistakes

NAB3 · 28/06/2007 18:52

My 6 month old was still having a night feed. Actually all three of them were.

PinkTulips · 28/06/2007 18:51

her time will come and then you can sit back and have a good laugh at her.

my bf babysat for me one night as i was going out i told her what to do if dd woke up (newly sleep trained, routine was important for getting her back down) she laughed at me and told me 'oh pink, i know what to do with a crying baby, you know i have a degree in early childhood studies' so i told her to have fun showing dd the degree and fecked off!

childless friends are totally clueless

hana · 28/06/2007 18:51

I get this too from a very dear friend, winds me up when she tries to discipline my older children too, but agree with foxinsocks

they just don't know YET

nightowl · 28/06/2007 18:51

my childless friend said to me once:

"when I have children i will not go out again, ever without them. i wont need to, i've had my fun..my children will be with me and my partner wherever we go, we will never need a break, or time to ourselves"

(subject came up because i was talking about having a night out)

i cant wait until she has a child.

edam · 28/06/2007 18:50

I think it's very easy for people who don't have children to give advice on parenting and you should ignore any daft statements that don't happen to coincide with your own instincts.

But... she's a friend and concerned about you so she's probably trying to help.

foxinsocks · 28/06/2007 18:49

lol childless friends are fab - just smile sweetly when she says stuff and remember, that if and when she has kids, her time will come!