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Original poster

To want a 4th child at 43

84 replies

Oldermummy2019 · 29/12/2018 19:04

Long story short devorced with 2 children, the met perfect husband 9 years ago. He had no children. I have older kids youngest is now a teenager. I agreed to have onother one who is now 2. It’s been such a great experience to have a child with a good man.

I feel broody, he would love another since the older kids will be off be off to university in a few years.

Money and space not an issue just the age .. I know people younger than me struggling to conceive.. will it be too indulgent to have another?

OP posts:
FascinatingCarrot · 29/12/2018 19:47

Go for it OP.
I met my dh at 33 and got married at 40. Both of us agreed no kids (I have 3, he hasnt any) , but we do regret it a lot more than we thought (both now 47)

Santaissleepingoffmincepies · 29/12/2018 19:46

I met a new dh and had a ds at 43!!
Not so lucky ttc at 44 so get cracking op.

70sbaubles · 29/12/2018 19:44

Having a baby is magical
Disagree there. It can be utterly shit as opposed to magical. She could get a screamer who never sleeps and has colic. That wouldn't be magical.
I don't think anyone should romanticise childbirth and young infants. Op has a lovely relationship which makes it better but there is a chance that rather than this being idyllic, it could ruin what they have. Particularly at an age where you are more tired. I wouldn't go through the baby years again for all the money in the world, for some it isnt the amazing special magic. And its luck of the draw what baby you get.

WendyCope · 29/12/2018 19:43

Of course you can! Just please, don't underestimate the menopause. Mine started at 43. Zero energy.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 29/12/2018 19:38

No harm trying! FWIW, I believe that the idea fertility drops dramatically at 35 has been qualified quite a bit lately - and, if you have already had children, you're not in the same statistical group as people who've never had a baby, anyway.

I would imagine most people struggling to conceive would be only pleased for you, and possibly even rather cheered to see someone having a good outcome at this age. I know I would.

Jellybabie3 · 29/12/2018 19:38

Absolutely. Having a baby is magical. Admittedly I have only one ! But I know I want more and as long as I can safely and then practically support them, nothing would hold me back ttc.

Best of luck OP Smile

DistanceCall · 29/12/2018 19:38

Rachel Weisz recently had a baby at 48, and apparently it was natural (she also has a child who is about 10). Give it a try, if you want another one.

SOSHelp · 29/12/2018 19:38

My grandmother had her fourth and final child at 45. She is still alive (though in her mid-90s), and she said her final pregnancy was very easy despite being an older mother. She was very fit and healthy at that age too.

So I don't think age is necessarily an issue if you can conceive and are otherwise healthy.

goodbyestranger · 29/12/2018 19:35

I had my eighth DC at your age OP and the birth was completely straightforward (the first three deliveries at a much younger age were all seriously complicated). Good idea and good luck.

MummaGiles · 29/12/2018 19:35

My brother was born when my mum was 42. You can do it.

Mayrhofen · 29/12/2018 19:34

I wouldn’t, no way. But it’s not my life, live yours and be happy x

neveradullmoment99 · 29/12/2018 19:30

I had a great pregnancy btw and birth was fast.

neveradullmoment99 · 29/12/2018 19:30

I had my last baby at this age. Fell pregnant fairly quickly. No reason why you cant. Good luck with ttc :)

Elemental · 29/12/2018 19:29

I’m sitting here with my DS who’s 21 weeks and born when I was 44. I had my first at 34 and it doesn’t feel any harder, in fact it’s wonderful.

Original poster
Oldermummy2019 · 29/12/2018 19:28

Apart from the miscarriage of course

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 29/12/2018 19:28

I'd probably give it a go in those circumstances tbh.

Original poster
Oldermummy2019 · 29/12/2018 19:27

I had my first at 19, second at 29 both pregnancies where not easy yet at 41 it’s been a breeze. Only goes to show that everyone is different.

OP posts:
DangerousBeanz · 29/12/2018 19:26

I can see no reason why not to try, I had my dd at 40 and would have loved to try again, but DH wasn't willing to gamble on another pregnancy, he felt the risks were too high and we should be thankful for the perfect baby we have. I understood his choice, but often do feel a pang that we should have tried again.

Pastaagain78 · 29/12/2018 19:26

In your circumstances I would give it a whirl.

Original poster
Oldermummy2019 · 29/12/2018 19:25

Thank you all very much, this is very supportive. I feel so Lucky to have achieved pregnancy over 40 with all the health scare about fertility after 35. I mentioned people TCC to empathise with them. I had a miscarriage before my two year old so know the pain that goes with it.

Thank ever so much everyone

OP posts:
70sbaubles · 29/12/2018 19:24

Sorry posted too early. I cant imagine it in my 40s.
But if you can manage it go for it x

70sbaubles · 29/12/2018 19:21

Good God I had my last at 35 and it was bloidy awful and I've found it such hard work due to age. I was 22 the first time, a breeze

kenandbarbie · 29/12/2018 19:17

I'm 43 and 37 weeks pregnant with no 4 Smile

Cookit · 29/12/2018 19:14

In your circumstances I agree, I’d give it a go. Obviously at that age the MC rate is much higher, but you know that going in to it so what’s really to lose?

Jazzhan · 29/12/2018 19:13

Why would you mention other people struggling to conceive?

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