I'm pissed off at my neighbours life.........................

Don't you get £15 leeway on benefits or something? oculd be wrong

Do you know for certain she is committing benefit fraud? Her dp might have low income eg. £10k, and then they might be legitimately getting a fair bit in child tax credits and working tax credits. Plus child benefit. It all adds up and isn't benefit fraud. Or perhaps I am being too generous to her?!

obimomkanobi,

Surely you can see the difference from someone doing the odd bit of babysitting, then someone who is working full time as per opening post.

I would report someone who is defaulding the benifits if i knew that they were working fulltime and getting benifits. I would not report someone who is doing the odd bit of babysitting (unless she was doing everyday and earning lots).

And I agre she should be reported- my dad is on benefits now after a lifetime of ahrdwork and saving (had two pensions palns and both collapsed- not as part of the big problem but because were sold abroad to countries with different alws that allowed the money to be well, stolen)

Yet they wouldn't dream of claiming what wasn't theirs, and in fact works a bit to make it up to what he want- and decalres it. In fact it was over declared LOL so he just got a nice pre-holiday surprise, but all his own money.

Benefits fraud is Not OK.

Goodness she must have low aspirations if her benefits pay for everything! (not doubting you btw, in shock at how low she sets her aims)

Course you're right to be annoyed. Actual I suspect there's more to her life than you can see (most poeple would want to go out more often with their baby or give their kids decent meals) but from your perspctive I'd be narked too.

Same as oblomov...benefits are rightly there for those who genuinely need it not to be fraudulently sucked up by the greedy and lazy.

Oh I know someone like this too, the benefit system is their own little top up piggybank and the taxman is conveniently overlooked. They just ignore the fact that other people have to work to supply the benefits for them 'a little help from the benefits' is how she phrases it. Problem is she is a really nice person if you overlook that attittude so I just avoid the subject and rant to DH about it.

One of the housing authority homes near us they own a brand new merc & A BMW but I guess it comes down to your prorities do you live in a rented home and spend your dosh on two high range fast depreciating cars or own a crap car AND your home.

I guess you cant do anything about other people priorties just get it off your chest and get on with it.

We should all report these people though shouldnt we - hard when you can put a face to them though.

Obly, we have different mindsets.

The mum I know was left by her husband and is doing her level best to bring up her kids in very difficult circumstances. It would be a very mean spirited individual who dobbed her in, just because she earns a few extra quid babysitting.

How about I CAT you, you tell me her address and I'll shop her for you?

Oh, I just noticed the bit about the partner that works. The DSS have a special number you can ring to grass people up completely anonymously. I know cos I once did it to someone who well overcharged dp for plastering subcontract work then we found out he didn't even declare it for tax as he was claiming invalidity, housing, council tax etc etc etc. I wouldn't mind but what a plonker to be working as a plasterer and claim invalidity! I hear they caught him on video walking up his path with all his tools and covered in plaster dust

The op could be describing my sil and herbf with their two year old daughter. Not actually fiddling, ie working on the side, just happy to live on benefits and not look any further while we are both self employed full time and juggle work and nursery and income and bills.
I used to get worked up about it but I don't anymore - because we are working and motivated (would be the same motivation if one of us was at home and one worked), the kids see that, and by staying in work instead of benefits, we are building a future for our children and setting a good example of work ethic and that you get what you work for in life.
Of course il's have just given her a 3 year old very nice car 'to help her out', while we held our breath that our 11 year old shed would pass its MOT last month!

It's ok, I always just barge in on threads and confess everything about my own life, just to make sure I'm not doing something awful!!

Thanks for setting my mind at rest

Just for clarification: I do not have a problem if someone claims benefits.
I do have a problem with benefit fraud. Simple as that.

Flightattendant the system is there to help people like you at certain stages of their life. The OP's neighbour is a differnt kettle of fish.

My first thoughts were that perhaps she is depressed? However there is no excuse for the Benefit fraud and I am about that.

Oblomov I agree with you. I grew up in somewhat straitened circumstances; my father worked (and mum after a while too but not well paid) but he had a gambling/alcohol problem, so wasted a lot of money and anyway
he "retired" while I was still at school. We had no central heating until I was about to leave home, no phone either for years, sometimes had to wwait several weeks for new shoes after pointing out to my parents that the current pair was too small. You get the picture.

At no time did my parents ever dream of claiming anything on benefits that they weren't entitled to. At university I was on a full grant with no extra parental support. Lived in a couple of seriously grim rented places the like of which you see on TV as examples of what should be condemned. In my early twenties I had a lot of student debt and although I had a professionL QUALIFICATIOn (sorry) by then it took a while for a comfortable amount of money to filter through. At one point I had a holiday job in M&S to help me out while studying; I used to live off the cheap food they sold in the staff shop which wasn't put on sale due to labelling errors etc.

I know ALL about hard times. But I got through, as did dh who's not from a wealthy background either. We worked bloody hard for everything we have now - yes we are now comfortable but at nobody else's expense.

Yes it is "hard on the kids" if a parent has to repay benefits or in extremis go to prison. It's also "hard on the kids" if a parent goes to prison for committing gbh or whatever, or receives a massive fine for some other criminal offence. Are we suggesting a sanction free lifestyle for anyone who's a parent ? People have choices; they just need to make the honest ones.

Some of you will think I'm a sanctimonious cow but I don't care. I get tired of all this woolly thinking when it comes to things like benefit fraud or tax evasion. They are not victimless crimes just because nobody's been, say, physically assaulted, or pickpocketed on the High Street.

Ab, that's really kind...thankyou, it's difficult for anyone I think to juggle work and kids..I'm very lucky I don't have to, and might even home educate DS1 (if he doesn't get on at school) because my situation allows it.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I can relate to your feelings a bit, I have been crying over DS1 recently as DS2 has taken up all my time and DS1 suddenly seems very far away...I also wonder if he will forgive me one day, for having his brother.

I hope you manage to find a way through this. You sound like a terrific role model for your DD. xx

FA, I don't think you have anything to feel bad about. I live in Ireland but I assume the systems were designed for the same reasons - to help people in genuine need of help. IT is people like the op is referring to that get to me.

I didn't have a great education but I was lucky enough to have a lot of help from my family and I was able to study later for a good career. It all worked out and I now have a job that allows me to be independant and provide for my daughter but I seem to spend so much time at work and very little with dd. I spend nights crying by her bed when she's sleeping wondering if she'll ever understand and forgive me for the choices I made.

It's so stressful that I'm off work at the moment and on AD's.

I would love to spend more time with her but at what cost? What would I be teaching her? I try to spend quality time with her. For now that's all I can do.

I hope things get better for you FA but for now don't feel bad. I have no problem with genuine people only those who commit fraud.

I've been offered cash in hand work, but don't take it. Coward, yes, but it wouldn't feel right to be lying about my income.

No, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

Want to add that I'm one of these single mums on long-term benefits, and it makes me feel really, really guilty...I've been let down by two different men, and my kids are 4 years apart, so I shan't be working for a while...I could get a p/t job but would not be able to afford the rent etc. if I did, so am a bit stuck in the 'trap'.

I hate to think I'm being paid for by other people's taxes. It seems so wrong.

Oh and my mum helps out too, but I cannot imagine coping without her. (I never get a lie-in though! )I guess there are degrees of it, your neighbour sounds as if she does have a very easy time. And I don't think it's right that she has benefits and another income.

How do you manage, toomuchtodo?

Obi, I think we are going to have to agree to disagree, becasue my answer to all your questions is Yes. Cash in hand, is wrong. Benefit fraud is wrong. I would like to hear some convincing arguments. You know its wrong. I know its wrong. The people who committ fraud, and you seem to be forgetting, it is fraud, know its wrong.
I have earnt little at certain points of my life. And this has nothing to do, with not being in the benefits trap. I have no doubt that it is hard. But defrauding me, and the rest of the population, no matter how hard life is on benefits, doesn't make it right.
FRAUD IS WRONG. And it is a criminal offence. Are you going to argue that a criminal offfence is o.k. ?
I have to disagree.

Oblomov, yes I do think that dobbing in benefit cheats is a horrible thing to do.

No matter what you might feel about fraud the truth is that people on long term benefits do have a pretty shitty time.

We only know the OP's take on her neighbours life, the reality might be very different.

I have read in my papers scenario's where mothers haven't declared earnings from menial jobs (cleaning etc) and in some cases have received custodial sentences.

I think that those of us who are lucky enough not to be in the benefits trap sometimes need to be 'the bigger people'

I know a mother at school (single mum) who does cash in hand baby sitting (she claims benefits)...should I dob her in?

I'm sure it will toomuch
It is so hard when you don't get a break...I feel for you. No way you could get a babysitter now and again I suppose?

I agree - she may have an easy life but her kids will suffer (are suffering!) which is so sad. And tired as you are, you do get to enjoy your kids (I hope), and to know them and have a relationship with them. Hers probably think of her as that woman who lives with us.