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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For being furious that dh's boss called him a "kiddy fiddler"?

110 replies

angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 09:13

dh came home from work yesterday, very upset, as his boss had been looking through some photos and said, "Look dh, you look like a kiddy fiddler in this one!" apparently she thought it was a huge joke.

as someone who actually has firsthand knowledge of "kiddy fiddlers" i find her comment very upsetting (although she doesn't know my history, obviously) - i don't really think it's something to be joked about, especially not in that context.

so i'm still feeling extremely upset and angry this morning, to the point where i want to email her and tell her what a stupid bitch she is - don't worry, i won't - but i also don't feel like it's any of my business really.

i've changed my name for this as i know she sometimes uses this site, and while i don't care if she knows who i am in RL i don't want her knowing my MN id.

OP posts:
angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 09:51

PPB - she can fire him for whatever she likes. she's the boss of the whole company. just before xmas when i was heavily pg she almost sacked him for having too much time off to go to emergency scans with me! she also phoned him while i was in labour and had a go at him for daring to take his paternity leave!

OP posts:
Enid · 26/06/2007 09:50

then we all laugh about it but they look slightly nervous

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:49

Message withdrawn

KerryMum · 26/06/2007 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:49

Message withdrawn

Enid · 26/06/2007 09:48

when on the recieving end of sexist comemnts at work I always say 'oh dear I dont think you aer allowed to say that are you' or pretend to get notebook and pen out in joky way

shuts them up

Cappuccino · 26/06/2007 09:48

you need to say something at the time

'I don't think that's appropriate' when they say it put them on the backfoot

not pranny around discussing it for a couple of days and dragging it up again

paulaplumpbottom · 26/06/2007 09:47

She can't fire him for that

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:47

Message withdrawn

madamez · 26/06/2007 09:47

AWB if it's that bad he should hunt for a new job. THing is, though, it's up to him. You're his partner, not his mum and he has to sort this situation himself.

angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 09:46

what, that he needs to grow a set of testicles. not in so many words, no. the trouble is, if he does say something to her and she fires him then we're screwed. i'm still on mat leave with ds, and there's no way my single wage would keep a roof over our heads.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:45

Message withdrawn

paulaplumpbottom · 26/06/2007 09:43

I hope you didn't tell him that

Cappuccino · 26/06/2007 09:43

at the risk of sounding like a kiss-ass

I read through the thread hoping and praying that someone would come on and say people were overreacting

ta cod

KerryMum · 26/06/2007 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Enid · 26/06/2007 09:42

tribunal

oh parp

Enid · 26/06/2007 09:42

yes am quite fond of Paula now

just because of that thread (myfinest hour)

angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 09:42

i've told him he needs to keep a diary of things like this, in case it ever does come to tribunal, but i haven't a clue how to get it to that stage without proper disciplinary procedures in place at the company.

ans also, it's not my problem. it's dh's problem and he needs to deal with it himself, but he won't cause he's such a pushover...the issue is really that he needs to grow a set of testicles.

OP posts:
FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:42

Message withdrawn

paulaplumpbottom · 26/06/2007 09:41

She sounds vile

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:41

Message withdrawn

Enid · 26/06/2007 09:40

agree with cod [yawn]

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 09:40

Message withdrawn

Tutter · 26/06/2007 09:40

peeeeess off re marquee

Eight · 26/06/2007 09:39

I really don't think the note is a good idea!
It seems a bit of a strange response - not cowardly, but a bit child-like.
(Not trying to be offensive, just thinking how I would view it if a member of staff handed me a note re this).
I honestly think he should say something to her, or leave it.