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AIBU?

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Original poster

For being furious that dh's boss called him a "kiddy fiddler"?

110 replies

angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 09:13

dh came home from work yesterday, very upset, as his boss had been looking through some photos and said, "Look dh, you look like a kiddy fiddler in this one!" apparently she thought it was a huge joke.

as someone who actually has firsthand knowledge of "kiddy fiddlers" i find her comment very upsetting (although she doesn't know my history, obviously) - i don't really think it's something to be joked about, especially not in that context.

so i'm still feeling extremely upset and angry this morning, to the point where i want to email her and tell her what a stupid bitch she is - don't worry, i won't - but i also don't feel like it's any of my business really.

i've changed my name for this as i know she sometimes uses this site, and while i don't care if she knows who i am in RL i don't want her knowing my MN id.

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bosscat · 26/06/2007 12:51

dh once told me about a clerk in court who was awful to him and chased him down the road shouting at him (she thought he had stolen her parking space) then when he told her to calm down she said I'm pregnant you can't shout at me ??? I thought she was totally manipulative especially when she said you better hope you aren't in my court today. I thought about phoning her the next day and slating her for about ...... 2 seconds. I did however wind dh up that I was going to for about .... 2 weeks.

they are big boys, they have got to sort themselves out.

crazylazydaisy · 26/06/2007 12:30

sorry if it's been mentioned before, but I agree with soupdragon's 2nd point. If your dh knows how you feel and you have experience of this, I find it that he mentioned it to you.
Stupid boss, stupid comment, but he should have kept it to himself

americantrish · 26/06/2007 12:28

omg how horrible. i would be very upset by this.... it was completely inappropiate...not unreasonable at all, imo.

zookeeper · 26/06/2007 11:22

does the poor sod know he's the subject of this debate? I don't think I'd tell him if I were you

elesbelles · 26/06/2007 11:19
Grin
Cappuccino · 26/06/2007 11:18

angry are you a SAHM?

cos if you are Xenia is going to be here in a minute saying that if your dh is so spineless he can't sort out his own office relationships you should go back to work yourself and let him stay at home with the kids

and I'm going to agree with her

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 11:13

Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 26/06/2007 11:10
  1. Your DH should have a calm, quiet word with her saying that he didn't find it funny and thinks it an inappropriate comment and then leave it at that.
  2. Assuming he also knows your history, your DH should never have mentioned this to you in the first place.
elesbelles · 26/06/2007 11:04

lol at cod's schnoz!!

themildmanneredjanitor · 26/06/2007 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elesbelles · 26/06/2007 11:03

ignorant comment by his boss imo..sometimes off the cuff remarks cause offense but agree it needed to be dealt with at the time. i dont think a note is a good idea...it will just make things more awkward at work for him...let it be and hope he finds a better job soon.

FluffyMummy123 · 26/06/2007 10:52

Message withdrawn

FrannyandZooey · 26/06/2007 10:50

Agree with Aloha

a joke that fell flat because her sort of humour is not shared by you and your dh

if it was a regular kind of joke, I mean if she continually made such comments, I think your dh should say "I'd prefer it if you didn't joke about that".

Aloha · 26/06/2007 10:48

Well, yes, but I trust you don't actually wear the uniform when trainspotting?

I get the impression you think this was some kind of passive/agressive non-joke, and you are probably right. She was probably using her power to make a sly dig at him. We've all seen it at work, and it can be hurtful, but she wasn't really making a joke about paedophilia or thinking your dh really was one, it was just a silly comment about his expression - I assume - in one picture.

suzywong · 26/06/2007 10:44

I'm sorry for your predicament but "d. i said he should've picked out a picture of her and "Oh look, in this one you look like a fat saggy bitter bitch, with a poor sense of humour." has really really brightened my mood and made me spray my dinner over the laptop

Original poster
angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 10:40

Aloha - it might if i spent my weekend in a Star Trek uniform on Clapham Junction with a small, spiralbound notepad...

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Original poster
angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 10:39

why lol @ publicity shot Enid?

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zookeeper · 26/06/2007 10:37

all the more reason to let this go.

Aloha · 26/06/2007 10:37

I honestly think you have to let it go. I think you are investing this comment with meaning that was never intended. If she'd said 'You look like a trainspotter in this picture' and laughed, you might think, 'piss off and stop being mean to my husband' but it wouldn't hurt you as it clearly has done.

Original poster
angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 10:36

also. the company works with children and children's products, which does put a different slant on it...

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zookeeper · 26/06/2007 10:34

I would focus on his efforts to get another job and forget about this crass comment

Sherbert37 · 26/06/2007 10:34

I know, awb, and I'm not sure what you can do to bring a small company 'up to date' with the latest personnel legislation. Hope you can put this behind you and your dh finds another job soon.

Enid · 26/06/2007 10:33

lol @ publicity shot

Original poster
angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 10:33

ds not in the picture, btw, it was a publicity shot for the company...

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Original poster
angrywithboss · 26/06/2007 10:32

but Sherbert, that's no good in a small company...

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