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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL CAR SEAT

35 replies

loopyredangel · 25/06/2007 17:58

My MIL wants to buy a car seat to take my almost 2 year old son out, but I am more than a bit concerned, she and her hubby are not the most confident drivers on the road, and I hope this doesn't come across as ageist, and I know I am not as I have elderly grandparents, but one is over 65 and the other is over 75, Iknow their reactions aren't what they used to be! She never takes him out anyway, and I think she doesn't want to be left out because her friend has a car seat and takes her grandchildren out. At the moment I just don't trust anyone else to drive him around, I lost cousins in a car accident a few years ago. Am I being unreasonable? How can I tell her without hurting her feelings?

OP posts:
bookwormmum · 25/06/2007 19:28

Was her son happy to be sung to in public? If he didn't mind, then why should you? It's only for a few minutes after all and photos are nice to treasure later on.

RosaLuxembourg · 25/06/2007 19:25

So let me get this straight. You have taken against your MIL because she wanted to sing happy birthday to her son and take some photos of a family occasion. YABU with knobs on IMO.

Original poster
loopyredangel · 25/06/2007 19:22

Being a little over protective then? I became very anti-MIL last time I was pregnant. She is a bit of a control freak, with everything in our lives, first the wedding, then the christening. I think I am rebeling against her because I don't want her to be in control - she does it all the time, even brought a birthday cake out with a candle on it and wanted everyone to sing happy birthday in a pub restaurant for her 33 year old little boy - she also insisted on taking photos of us all, I refused point blank but she took the photo anyway! She drives me insane!

OP posts:
lizziemun · 25/06/2007 19:14

loopyredangel

My mum is not a confident driver, but she has a car seat in her car and i don't have a problem with her taken my dd now 3 1/2yrs out.

Original poster
loopyredangel · 25/06/2007 18:53

Thanks dissle, I think it's also because my DS is still quite young and my first, I had a pretty horrendous time of it when I was pregnant and afterwards with severe SPD, I am still having problems now, think I might be a little protective, especially at the moment - I am 20 weeks pregnant, and my SPD is up and down at the moment, when I am having good days I am trying to make the most of having quality time with him.

MIL & FIL have never had an accident, just concerned as MIL will avoid going to certain places because of the traffic. I think they might be better with an automatic. Also worried because I know how distracting DS can be in the car, and if you are not used to it, it only takes a second to have an accident!

OP posts:
sparklesandwine · 25/06/2007 18:08

maybe they aren't very confident drivers but have they actually had any accidents??

if your MIL is doing it just to 'keep up with the jones' then the likelyhood is they probably won't take him out anyway or if they do not very far - and also i think it is also very handy to have back up incase you need them to have him

I can understand your concerns but if they are fundementaly safe drivers then i don't think it will be a problem - my mum's 62 and drives mine about

dissle · 25/06/2007 18:07

By the way, i think that your concerns are justified and i think that it is natural that you are anxious.

This must be very distressing to you.

dissle · 25/06/2007 18:06

As she never takes him out any way, let her buy a car seat then see what happens.

I think that you will be able to come up with a million and one kind excuses as she asks to take him places.

You know, as she asks remember a party/play date/appointment that he has that day.

You could avoid quite easily i think.
Does that help?

Original poster
loopyredangel · 25/06/2007 18:06

I don't think its their age,think Iwas just using that as an excuse, but I am quite uneasy when in the car with them, like I said they are not very confident now.

OP posts:
pooka · 25/06/2007 18:02

My mother is 65, my father 66, my FIL is 78 and my MIL is 70. They all drive regularly and safely. And they all drive their granddhildren around.
I personally do not think the ages you cite are too old for driving per se. Depends upon how they are as drivers -i.e would you get in the car with them.
I do think you're being a bit unreasonable, but not without good cause.
Incidentally, my mother has only recently started driving dd because she used to get on the bus/train with her, but since she has she has appreciated being able to nip over to my great-aunt's house/to places not easily accessibly by public transport.