to be annoyed that dh will not let me have the gorgeous Mercedes car that is parked outside our house?

Xenia - has it ever occurred to you that the whole point of marriage is economies of scale?

I could go down the route of -you not having a man not surprising me but I was extremly independent before i met my husband.
Lived with friends, paid my own way and yes, i bought my own car. But things change and i now have a family to think of and whilst i still hold my principles very high the welfare and happiness of my family come first. If that means i stay at home then that is the way it is which then translates to my dh earning the wage and paying the bills as, let's face it, someone HAS to earn the money.

I think you need to remember that feminists fought to free downtrodden women forced into situations they didn't want or weren't asked about. They fought to give women the CHOICE. I chose my family after discussion, consultation and mutual respect from my husband taking into account my feelings and goals for my own life.

Please, please, please TRY not to assume all sahm's are dontrodden, unhappy and forced into their situations as aren't you then just applying a reverse pyschology to the men in assuming all women are stupid and can't be treated as intelligent human beings?

I don't even have a man although may be that's a blessing in disguise. I've never been in a position where anyone bought me anything. I'm not sure how psychologically I could cope with it but people differ.

....or is it just the fact that you don't like husbands buying their wives EXPENSIVE cars?

Sorry to be completely thick here but if i am sahm and don't work at all
how the hell am i supposed to buy ANY car?

Of course he's going to have buy (I prefer to think of it as providing as he's not just buying it for me)a car for me to use.

Get real xenia, i chose to raise my children myself and not work so, therfore, i don't earn.

In our family we play to our strengths
dh is very good at what he does and enjoys work. I was a teacher who was very jaded and I was more than happy to be a sahm.
I supported him when he needed me and now he's doing the same. When our children are raised i will go back to work.

Yes, but there was such sexism implied into the principle that a man buys your car, in 2007. It's an amazing concept when these days so few women are housewives kept by men.

Where did i say i worked 50 hr weeks?
(When he was redundant and we had no children)
He currently does a 13-14hr day, is his work not valued just because he's a man?
Or is it just that he gets paid that has you so offended...

listen xenia.

everyone is different.

I like being at home. my husband likes going to work. not all of us could make 250k+ and frankly i don't see the point in me going out make £6/hr so i'm not a 'kept' woman!

ANYWHO!!

My MIL has that merc and loves it. she had the older version before and this one is infinitely better. has a bit of a blind spot though.

Obviously a bit of good and take - he's made redunant you work 50 hour weeks, you are he does or gets second job. Of course in a long marriage you do those things but being a housewife in general is not that much fun and having someone else who buys things for you presumably if you've been nice to him is a strange sort of situation to be in. I think it doesn't suit most women.

Interesting that there was a case on inheritance tax schemes and the tax man said the money was really the man who had earned it and the 30 years his wife had cooked, cleaned, gone to bed with him and minded his children didn't count in deciding half the value of their joint assets were hers. They say it's not yours when it suits them for tax purposes but not otherwise.

muppetgirl, can only speak for myself but my views on this were formed during the years that I did support my ex...a bit of give and take is important, I feel, not one partner sponging off the other the whole time. (def not implying that OO sponges off her dh, btw.)

We had one of these. Was when DD was a baby. Had to get rid of it in the end as it was so impractical with a child - she was either freezing or burning in the back with the roof down.

I used to drive it more than DH, as I had firtehr to go for work - he had the little Smart back then Oh it went down so well in the school car park with the pupils! It was lovely! Have sensible cars now

I can say, with some certainty and for the most part, it definately isnt as bad as Xenia describes.

I actually quite like the idea of being a kept woman for a bit. Willing to give it a try anyway, just to see if it really is as bad as Xenia describes. A worthy MN experiment I think, reckon DH will go for it?!

Xenia, my husband's job went tits up and he had to leave which meant he couldn't finish his house in order to sell it. He needed to sell it as he had no job to pay the mortgage. I paid for new carpets, paint, tilers +tiles to help him complete and sell.
Should he not have sponged off me?
What's the feminists view on supporting your partner?

Yes YABU....ever thought of buying it for yourself ? This IS 2007.

I'm quite happy for my dh to buy my cars for me Xenia. I see no problems with it at all.

oo but why doesn't yo0ur husband get depressed and lose the will to live having to support you and the chidlren - does the penis mean they differ that much. Is it fair?

Anyway the day mumsnetters are on the whole are buying their lower earning husbands mercs for Christmas I might desist.

My OH wants me to live off him and is quite miffed that I refuse to do so for various reasons . I wouldn't argue too much if he bought me a Merc or similar car though. That would be a present .

hmm, have to say Im with xenia on this one. cannot joke about living off men.

my dear mum educated us to live off men - she thought we went to university so that we could meet the sort of men who would buy us Mercs. oh dear, I am a sad disappointment to her, I bought my own Ford Fiesta. Paid for it in cash, too.

Well, I'm jealous

Not really because of the car being a merc, but because it probably goes over 50mph!! Mine doesn't at the minute It's so crap!!

Is she always like this?
Xenia that is?