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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to give away a cat

89 replies

goldenwings · 23/06/2007 00:03

dps sister friend found a kitten the other week abandoned in a box she couldnt keep it as she had a reaction. anyway dps sister took it in but she to had a reaction so the kitten came here so dps nephew could see it as he has grown attached.

anyway all was fine and dps sister got the jabs done half price on benefits as she was going to have the cat back because she didnt react to it after a while. but this cant happen now

however we have reached a problem and that is the cat scratches and bites i have an 8 month old who is crawling and weve had to stop the cat scratching him. hes just scratched my stomach (the cat not my son lol) and dp is caked in scratches. the kitten cant stay anymore as i dont want my son to be scratched.

dps sister has said that we cant give the cat away but we can sell it at £40 so she gets the injection money back. fair enough but ive tried pointing out its a non pedigree tom and noone will pay 40 quid for it. yes hes toilet trained but still noone will pay that much. so we seem to be stuck with him and im not sure what to do. he can be a sweet little thing but will not stop scratching and biting hes so bad for it. i just want him to go to a decent home but seriously noones going to want to pay 40 pound.

OP posts:
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babalon · 09/07/2007 22:45

your either a cat person or your not, I think they are the most ungrateful beasts in the world. They were designed to caught mice on farms not pollute houses!

WigWamBam · 27/06/2007 12:44

What's happening with the cat, GW?

barney2 · 26/06/2007 11:45

Have you rung the CPL yet? They would definitely take it.

Bouncingturtle · 26/06/2007 10:17

I'm a mad cat lover, but I think you are doing the right thing. Take it to the Cat's Protection League they will rehome the kitten with no trouble. I really don't think your sil will get her £40 back - I'm afraid that is a risk she had to take!

Original poster
goldenwings · 26/06/2007 10:15

oooh i wonder if theres anything i can do on the net? maybe email my details so they can contact me?

OP posts:
Original poster
goldenwings · 26/06/2007 10:14

exactly which is why i am going to do something today. im not a bad person and i dont want to be treated like one.

however if wanting my son not to be scratched and wanting the kitten rehomed is bad then fine shoot me now lol.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 26/06/2007 10:10

"dps sister friend found a kitten the other week abandoned in a box she couldnt keep it as she had a reaction. anyway dps sister took it in but she to had a reaction so the kitten came here"
You took the cat in as a favour to her - if the cat takes your son's eye out, how will she feel then?
You are doing the right thing, the sooner the cat goes the safer it will be. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I don't think there's any decision to be made, your son's safety should come before either a cat or your dp & sisters feelings IMO. Ignore them, they'll get over it.

RosaLuxembourg · 26/06/2007 10:05

Go for it Goldenwings! You are clearly the only one with the interests of the cat and your child at heart. Let your DH and his ridiculously childish-sounding sister sulk if they want to - you are the one who is behaving in a responsible fashion and you can jolly well point them towards this thread if they demur!

talcy0 · 26/06/2007 08:43

....good luck...sounds like the best plan for all in the longrun.

My dh was very unhelpful....yet he moaned the loudest about the cat

Original poster
goldenwings · 26/06/2007 08:38

is it really wrong that i no longer care if im the bad guy?

he will be so much better off with someone new. he can be so sweet and cuddly but then he goes into one and tries to scratch and bite our faces.

OP posts:
talcy0 · 26/06/2007 08:31

Exactly...goldenwings
you might be the bad guy for a while
(my teen sd was very upset]
they'll soon get over it....and you'll feel huge relief!!

Original poster
goldenwings · 26/06/2007 08:29

thats what i have done. dps sister said she would sort it but hasnt.

dp is reluctant to do anything so hasnt.

and today i think im going to be the bad guy because i fully intend on trying to rehome this cat today.

im full of cold. im in pain and just want this sorted. still if you want a job done right you have to do it yourself as my old nan would say.

OP posts:
talcy0 · 26/06/2007 08:23

You have my sympathies....
Been in a similar situation....

Eventually had to phone those involved and tell them that 'the cat had to go' gave them a chance to find it a home...when they couldn't, i contacted Cts Protection...and they took it anf found it a good home.

Try not to let it make you angry...just tell them nicely....if they want to sell it, let them have it meantime.

Original poster
goldenwings · 26/06/2007 08:11

thank you for all your replies.
i truly and utterly give up. itold dp yesterday that the cat went for cade and has to go. he is reluctant to do anything until hes spoken to his sister.

i have a stinking cold so took myself to bed telling him to deal with it. and he bloody hasnt. so the cat is still here and nothing has been done. so im going to sort it out today. im going to see a friend later i hope so i will use their phone. if not then i will use dps phone tonight REGARDLESS of what he says.

i appreciate that he doesnt want to fall out with his sister however when did i first post on here? there has been ample time and the longer it takes the worse it will be for the kitten.

the people who wanted him have changed their minds as they have young children. i think this cat would be suited to older people with lots of time to sort his behaviour out.

i feel so angry that neither dp ir his sister are taking this seriously. dp especially knows what the kitten is like. i believe i have been more than fair but my son comes first. and after yesterday i do not trust the cat.

sorry to rant but i feel like shit and i feel that noone is actually taking me seriously.

OP posts:
barney2 · 25/06/2007 20:15

wwb - sorry I didn't see she'd said they'd been done on benefits.

WigWamBam · 25/06/2007 17:40

Barney, GW says that the jabs were done at half price on benefits ... so I doubt very much that her sister paid £40. They might have been that price if she'd paid full whack, but not if she got them at half price.

GW, it was your sister's choice to let the cat go, and it's been her choice not to deal with rehoming him - the fact that she's lost £40 is beside the point and not your problem. No-one else should have to shoulder that simply because she can't be bothered to do the rehoming of a cat she doesn't want.

Are the people who wanted him before still interested in having him? I'd send him there rather to a rehoming centre where he may not be rehomed for a while. It sounds as if he needs a permanent, loving home now.

barney2 · 25/06/2007 17:31

Oh hang on a sec! You can easily pay £40 for vaccinations for a kitten - you have one lot of jabs and then another lot of jabs a couple of weeks later - it can easily add up to £40. My cat her annual jabs last week and cost me almost that.

expatinscotland · 25/06/2007 14:14

bollocks to that.

give him to a loving home and stuff her.

i guarantee she didn't pay £40 for those jabs.

barney2 · 25/06/2007 14:12

A cat needs time and patience, especially kittens - I had a kitten once that was completely loopy and attacked anything that moved but 3yrs later she is much more laid back although she's not a lap cat and doesn't like a lot of fuss. You could say kittens need training much like a puppy does.

This little chap goldenwings has has to be rehomed urgently - by the sounds of it its been through far more than most 3 month old kittens - its still a baby after all.

I don't agree that when a cat is a bit on the wild side it won't change - it will change - it just needs time/space/peace & quiet etc etc.

The Ark will take it but it may not take it immediately - depends on how much room they have. But good luck anyway.

pucca · 25/06/2007 13:20

That is absolute crap about once a cat is wild it always will be!!

I have 2 cats that were COMPLETELY ferrel when i got them i got them from a friends mum who had a farm, they had never seen people at all before, took alot of time and patience but they are the most friendliest cats you will ever meet, on the other hand i bought a kitten from a very posh detached house, she is absolutely mad! will not let you near her at all.

Original poster
goldenwings · 25/06/2007 13:12

i will be doing that this afternoon when dp gets home at 3:45pm i dont have anyway of getting in touch with them until he gets home.

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barney2 · 25/06/2007 13:03

Have you rung the Portsmouth Animal Home - the Stubbington Ark to see if they can take him? The sooner you get him in the better.

Original poster
goldenwings · 25/06/2007 12:19

sorry havent been on ive got a cold.

well i havent heard anything from dps sister and the cat went for cade this morning. he wasnt hurt but he cried as the cat tried jumping on him. i caught it and threw it out of the living room (not literally threw)so will have words with dp tonight and use his phone as i dont have one to get it sorted.

we think hes just over 3 months he was found in a box so dont really know much about him.
i live in portsmouth.

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barney2 · 24/06/2007 17:40

Oh dear...by the sounds of it you need to find it a home on a farm - the RSPCA and CPL usually have requests for cats such as these that can wander around keeping the mice population down etc.

How old is it? I can put in a word for you here (Andover) and see if the CPL here can help you. Has it been neutered/spayed?

bookwormmum · 24/06/2007 17:26

If the cat is going for faces and this isn't due to her being wound by being overpetted, then I would happily give the cat away myself. It could be someone'es eye next time.