....to go on strike???!!!

I'm ok...just feel like I'm at everyone else's beck and call all the time which is what does me in. If I'm not doing school runs (4 per day) I'm working, driving around, shopping, cleaning, walking the dog, cooking, tidying up, gardening etc etc. There always seems to be something to do!

Like I'm sat here typing this and I must get on and make myself a drink, put some shopping away that I've dumped in the hall, have to go and pick up dd2 from playgroup at half 12, feed her, hoover round, feed the dog, strip some beds, go and pick up dd1 at 3pm, come home, feed them, bath, ready for bed, homework, etc etc etc....and already this morning I've done two school runs, worked for 2hrs, done some shopping and now sat here and already its almost midday. Where does the time go?

I think sometimes I'm just too soft...I say yes to people who want favours when I should be saying no - I like to help other people out but it never seems to happen to me - ie people offering to help me - maybe they think I don't need the help?!!

I can remember when I'd not long had dd2 and was very ill and in and out of hospital I asked my Mum to help me with dd1 and I was basically told 'no - you can manage'. She didn't mean it nastily but just couldn't see why I couldn't cope - so I've learnt not to ask for help anymore.

Bringing up kids has to be one of the hardest, most exhausting full-time jobs around. I love my girls but they do wear me out along with all the jobs that come with them!

Yes we could have a candlelit takeaway but by the time dh is home from work, which could be 9pm, it's hardly worth it and besides which we're always too skint!!

Hi hotbot. I can't afford a cleaner as much as I'd love to. Housework is a permanent full time job and I'm not a lover of it. I clean a room and the kids follow behind and leave a trail of destruction - ie toys etc....It's a never ending job.

I am always telling my dh that I just crave a break... he doesn't seem to understand how much my life simply revolves around being a Mum and wife. Don't get me wrong - I know how lucky I am to be married to a lovely bloke with two smashing kids but I just feel as though I'm always rolling from one day into the next with no break in between.

I'm always dressed in the same drab stuff - jeans/t-shirts etc. My hair is permanently tied up - I used to go to the hairdresser regularly - now I shower every morning and it stays tied up all day. I don't bother with make-up anymore. I rarely wear perfume.

It's such a huge change to how I used to be. Before children (9yrs ago) I wore lovely clothes, did a brilliantly paid full time job that I enjoyed, wore make-up, had lovely haircuts, wore lovely perfume, had a lovely figure (!) and generally felt really good about myself.

When my head hits the pillow at night I'm sound asleep within minutes. I'm always completely worn out. My days start at 6am and don't finish until 11pm ish. I've always got jobs to do. I seem to devote my entire time to other people.

And this may well shock some of you but the last time dh and I went out alone was when my eldest dd was 3 yrs old - that's 6yrs ago - we'd just sat down to a meal at a lovely pub and got a phone call to say she'd just thrown up all over the place - I'd left her with a friend. We've never been out again since...and even if we did go out somewhere, just the two of us, I probably wouldn't know what to talk about. He's always at work, I work when he gets home - we're passing ships and don't seem to have a lot in common anymore. When the kids are finally in bed in the evening I tend to do the jobs I need to get done or I head for any early night with a book and he'll sit and watch tv and come to bed when I'm asleep - then he's up and away by 6am the following day. Not a very healthy relationship I know...I think we just exist!

I don't have anyone who can have the kids for me - my Mum lives away and we don't have anything to do with my dh's parents (long long long story...). When my youngest is at playgroup I work but she only does two mornings a week so don't get much of a break there either. My dh is very supportive but only the other day he said 'if you need a break go out somewhere' - he couldn't grasp the idea that it'd be nice if he took the kids out and gave me some peace at home.

I love my kids but I honestly feel like I've been put on this earth to be a Mum/wife and that's it. Everywhere I turn I see jobs that need doing. The ironing pile is threatening to fall on top of me each time I walk past it. The washing machine is always full with another pile waiting to go in. I can't hold a conversation on the phone without one of the kids bickering/screaming/tapping me on the arm to get my attention. I keep telling myself that I didn't go to college to learn how to be a Mum. I've asked my Mum for help and she just replies 'oh its all part of being a Mother' etc etc - she didn't get any help either so doesn't see why I should need any help/breathing space.

Whilst I'm sat typing this I've got the eldest dd sat behind me asking me questions to do with her maths homework and a tired 3yr old stood next to me with her head up against my left arm sucking her thumb!!

I can't win and oh boy have I had a enough sometimes. It's just non stop and do I want this for the next 10-15yrs?

And yes I hate going grey - I don't want to start looking older than I arm - even my eyebrows are going grey!