to expect an full invitation to a family wedding, not just an evening one?

I've been invited to two evening-only weddings and one couple made sure to include their gift list link, the other didn't but did give the code for discounted overnight accomodation in the hotel if we wanted it.

I really don't like the fact that some guest are made to feel more importnat than others. I think that people should be invited to everything and wedding days should be seperated into different parties. I think that's the reason DP and I haven't got married we can't stand the politics of it all!

i would be pleased to get a gift list with pm invite - saves me thinking about what to get - buy now while cheaper things are still on it!

I have to agree and say I think you are being unreasonable. Regardless of the circumstances its their day and they should be able to celebrate it as they wish without having to worry about what everyone else wants.

Children or not, partners or not and full invite or evening are all difficult decisions to make when you are arranging a wedding and the decision of the couple involved should be respected so they can have the day they want - sod everyone else!

I do think you shouldn't send gift lists with evening invites though - I think its a bit cheeky! You can always send one later if the guests request it

Im getting married next month and think you are being unreasonable becuase its a very expensive do. You cant invite everyone even if you want to, i have had to invite a lot of people just to the eveing reception because we cant afford to invite everyone all day. I think if you decided not to attend because you havent been invited all day or because your children havent been invited then its a bit petty really, and i'd rather you didnt come if you felt that way!

I thought it was just my cousin cheeky enough to include gift list with evening only invite! I wouldn't have minded but they had a VERY small (immediate family only) wedding to save costs, but they still expected all the pressies!
I didn't go. Small children are a great get out clause for evening things .

My niece is getting married in September.Both her and her Fiamce come from large families. She would love to invite everyone to the whole wedding, but this just isn't possible both from lack of space and money.
So yes I think you are being unreasonable.

I nearly fell out with my Dad a few years ago over a wedding invitation.
My brother's EX (and mother on his son) was getting married to her boyfriend (and father of her second child) of many years. I was invited to the wedding as she and I are still very close friends (couldn't go sadly as I was in NZ). My parents were sent an invitation to the evening do as a note of respect (being the grandparents of her son). I thought it was lovely gesture and she didn't need to do it but she did out of respect to my parents.
My father was incensed and highly offended and refused to go at all. He thought they should have had an invitation to the whole thing.
I was [shocked] and pretty speechless by the whole affair and couldn't apologise to my friend enough for their behaviour. It was highly embarrassing.
It is not surprising that my parents don't see their grandson at all any more

I hate this kind of thing when it comes to weddings. I can't stand it when people get shirty about 'No Children' policies too.

Tinytotmum ... I am glad you have decided what to do about it ... I hope you have a fab time

Weddings are tricky. And I think they're boring too, for the most part. All that sitting around tables where the couple have mixed up their friends an no one knows each other!!!!

I can't bear this whole concept of 'evening do's.' It's too awkward to try to have essentially two separate events - a wedding and a cocktail party - in one go. People invariably end up feeling miffed - so it defeats the purpose of trying to "include" them.

Tiny I can see why you feel a bit left out. I'm still smarting from the the one time DH and I did go to one, and the couple had invited only about 10 people for evening only. I felt like I had "B TEAM" emblazoned on my forehead! Included their gift list in the B list invite as well.

I completely imagine it's a cost thing rather than a snub!

If you are only invited to a bit of the wedding, you need only get them a bit of a present!

Seriously, I would imagine that cost is an issue for them; accept and have a good night out.

i think you are being unreasonable to be honest. its their day and their choice i dont know the background but maybe your cousin is still hurt after you sided with her ex.

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable!

Im getting married myself next year and although extremely close to all of my 20 cousins I could not possibley invite them (and partners) all to the whole day - numbers and cost would go through the roof. Im dreading this to be honest - I am fairly sure everyone will completely understand as they know how expensive weddings are now but (as my cousin who married 3 years ago told me) - you cant and wont please everyone - you will have those who will understand but you'll definately will have the few who will b**ch about it.

Sorry but this type of thing completely boils my blood!! I, personally find it a privilage when anyone thinks enough of me to invite me to any part of their very special day!

YABU - I married recently and could not possibly have afforded to invite all our cousins to the meal. I really hope that none of them took offence, it had never occurred to me that they might.

A second wedding is usually a smaller affair anyway, so they might simply not have space.

My aunt is getting married this weekend, to begin with we were only invited to the evening part, but when I phoned her to RSVP she invited us to the wedding. What happened was the register office can only hold 75 people, on my aunts side alone there is 85 people that she wanted to invite so she had to cut numbers, but then she realised that she had spaces, I wasn't bothered, at least we were invited. when my cousin got married we weren't even invited and that upset me as we all grew up together

Just a quick word re church bit - there is only so much space in a church - some people have to restrict invites due to this - This may not be the case but is just an idea...

If I get invited to just the evening part I tend to go to the wedding to piss them off . Not sure if they actually notice or not though .

Oh yes another time my dp (now dh) was invited to the wedding and reception and I was invited to just the evening do. I travelled with some other rejects from London to Hampshire to sit in a freezing marquee with no food left and everyone else drunk and having a great time. With friends like this who needs enemies?

My cousin only invited us to the evening part of her wedding. Even though she said that we could attend the wedding then 'bog off' (our interpretation!!) until the evening, we didn't attend any of it in the end due to illness. Personally I wasn't too fussed as I think she's a spoiled brat but it upset my Mum as she's her God-daughter and did expect a little more fuss on account of that. Must be a generational thing.

I'd go and make the best of it - it's a free party after all!

ComeOVeneer lol good luck Stateside.

Someone I know married an American girl in the States then re-staged the wedding in the UK and invited all sorts of people they barely had kept in touch with. We had never met the bride at all and had to sit through the whole thing.

A friend of someone else I know had a fancy wedding in the chapel of St Pauls Cathedral, and I went along to keep my friend company, the bride and groom didn't know me from Adam. They got divorced within 2 years.

I say go if you want, not if you don't. Why not let your dh decide, it's his family. I don't count cousins as close family and haven't been to my cousins wedding except when respective mothers bullied eachother.

Maybe she can't afford to invite a lot of people? DH and I offended a few cousins by not inviting them through the day to our wedding, but we would have made ourselves bankrupt if we had!

def dont take it personally

she may even be having a much smaller wedding as second time around

let them get on with it and be lovely and good fun in the evening

Like others have said count yourself lucky. This summer we have been invited to dh's mum's cousin's wedding (although the cousin is actually our age rather than dh's mum's age). It is in America, and we are invited to the rehearsal dinner the night before, the wedding ceremony and meal and evening do and a brunch the day after . I've only met the guy once.

their day their choice. However, your DH can still go to the church. You don't need an invite to go to a church, only the reception. So I am sure the bride wouldn't mind the pair of you in the church.