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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To remove my coil and not tell dh?

162 replies

tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:08

it came out today and I've not said a word!

OP posts:
talcy0 · 18/06/2007 23:35

I sympathise with you....and sometimes there is no compromise......one of you will not get what they want.

Maybe in time he may reconsider?
Tricking him will lead to resentment

I have felt like you do now

Wotz · 18/06/2007 23:31

Then that is a shame you didn't talk about this before you married him. He will easily know that you have lied to him when/if you get pregnant as the chances are so slim. and there will always be doubt in his mind. Is that right?

Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:29

I want a husband who love me enough to let me have another child whatever but I haven't got that

OP posts:
Wotz · 18/06/2007 23:29

Coil is normally 99% effective. You need to talk to him.
Sorry that you are in this position.

BrothelSprouts · 18/06/2007 23:28

I suppose it then comes down to whether you believe that your ache to have another child should take precedent over your DH's decision not to.
And only you and he can decide that.

flibbertyjibbet · 18/06/2007 23:27

I don't think its right at any time to force a child on to someone who doesn't want another.
Is your nickname a clue, that you must always have your own way? Even if it means being deceitful?
Bear in mind that if you get pregnant again it will come out at some point that the coil was not there - and then where will you be. Do you want a husband who doesn't trust you?

Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:25

I know deep down whats right but right is making me miserable and I don't think right is right iykwim. My lo having a brother and sister is right in my mind. Dh is wrong to withhold that.

OP posts:
Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:23

So the only right thing to do is not have another child even though I ache to have one.

OP posts:
goodasgold · 18/06/2007 23:21

You alone can judge the situation, for some people this would be a huge issue of trust, others would be glad to have the children with no blame laid at their door.
Good luck!
Let us know what comes of it.
Bit jealous would love another baby any time NOW.

octo · 18/06/2007 23:19

There is a difference between getting pregnant by accident and on purpose.

Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:18

We discussed having a family unfortuately ds didn't sleep longer than 2hrs at a time for the first 10 months then not much better after that and dh doesn't want to go through it again. For me a family has always been 2 I never ever thought I'd have an only child and I'm very upset about it. Everytime we discuss it I cry and there is no compromise.

OP posts:
BrothelSprouts · 18/06/2007 23:18

Perhaps you need to accept that he might never want another child.
But if you discuss it with him, you may reach a compromise.
Tricking him into another pregnancy would be unfair, and might well be disastrous for your relationship.

Blu · 18/06/2007 23:16

I sympathise, TT, but you need to sort it out llike grown ups, Honestyly.

After all - grown ups tend to make the best parents.

tell him - and tell him how you feel.

Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:16

I want 2 he wants to stick at 1 where do you go with that. I know I am being unreasonable but then surely so is he.....
I'm not a bitch and I'm not taking this lightly.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 18/06/2007 23:15

If you're so desperate to be pregnant then you need to tell him that, not trick him into it.

BrothelSprouts · 18/06/2007 23:15

Did you not discuss how many children you would like before having the first one?

sallyheartshapedstrawberry · 18/06/2007 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flibbertyjibbet · 18/06/2007 23:13

I can't beleive you are actually thinking of not mentioning it. I didn't think the things could just fall out, are you going to tell us you have had it taken out deliberately and not going to tell him?
Outrageous. Deception. Entrapment.

Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:13

I don't want to have an only child but I don't want to fight a fight with no compromise.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 18/06/2007 23:13

yabu - YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE.

Blu · 18/06/2007 23:13

Oh, well get on with your own two games, then.
Conception is such a laugh, isn't it? Conceive a child, what's the difference, only another baby....

BrothelSprouts · 18/06/2007 23:13

YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE

BrothelSprouts · 18/06/2007 23:12

You're kidding, surely?

Original poster
tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:12

yabu - please explain I don't recognise abrieviation sorry!

OP posts:
octo · 18/06/2007 23:12

I retract that last statement - a bit mean is a bit of an understatement.

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