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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To remove my coil and not tell dh?

162 replies

tinatantrum · 18/06/2007 23:08

it came out today and I've not said a word!

OP posts:
giddy1 · 19/06/2007 09:30

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Soph73 · 19/06/2007 09:29

Tina - just read your latest post and have breathed a HUGE sigh of relief. It is definitely a decision you both have to make together and I´m so pleased you´ve told him. Maybe you should have explained to us originally that the dr took it out and then some of us probably wouldn´t have been so vociferous Good luck

FioFio · 19/06/2007 09:27

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NoodleStroodle · 19/06/2007 09:25

Soph for your sister. Truly awful.

lou33 · 19/06/2007 09:25

but he knows now, so if she gets pg then he would have gone into it willingly, knowing hte risk he was taking

FioFio · 19/06/2007 09:25

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Soph73 · 19/06/2007 09:24

Tina - can´t believe you´re seriously considering not telling him. My SIL longed for a baby and her husband never told her that he´d had the snip. She spent years believing it was her fault that nothing happened, she went to the dr countless times and he said there was no reason why she couldn´t conceive. Funnily enough she is no longer with the jerk who wouldn´t tell her the truth & she is now too old to have kids & she´s heartbroken. YOU MUST TELL HIM. Also, what´s wrong with enjoying the child you do have and being b**dy thankful you have at least 1 healthy child when so many women (who would make great mothers) don´t have any at all.

colditz · 19/06/2007 09:23

Look, do you not think you are being selfish? If he doesn't want another child, you don't have the right to make him have one.

And yes, it's out and you have told him, but if you get pregnant, don't be surprised if he leaves you.

FioFio · 19/06/2007 09:22

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lou33 · 19/06/2007 09:22

i think you have done the right thing, now he knows he can make a choice about whether or not he would mind another baby coming along

good luck

Wotz · 19/06/2007 09:22
Smile
Original poster
tinatantrum · 19/06/2007 09:20

Thanks for supportive replies the ones that aren't so then I guess that says more about the posters than it does about me.
The coil was taken out by the dr. because over the last few months I have had spotting many times and some tummy ache.
I told dh this morning not because of replies just because it was the right thing to do. However I am in no way gonna try to prevent a pg so I guess it is up to him.
I really hope those of you wanting a baby get your dream.

OP posts:
Wotz · 19/06/2007 09:14

It is a good point to consider, as others have said, that by taking the coil out, will lead to an open and hopefully honest discussion on may issues. Good luck and I hope you feel brighter this morning.

lou33 · 19/06/2007 09:05

you really do need to tell him, at least then he has a choice in whether or not he uses contraception

ELF1981 · 19/06/2007 09:05

YABU, sorry

Before I had DD, DH was far more eager to have a child than I was. I wanted a baby, but not at the same time he did, so he waited for me to be ready.

If I thought for one second that he'd been pricking holes into condoms to hurry the situation along, I think all the trust between us would have gone.

giddy1 · 19/06/2007 08:44

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wurlywurly · 19/06/2007 08:24

when you get pregant how are yougoing to explain that you already had the coil removed. Are you just gonna tell him that it fell out?? sorry but i do think this is very decieving of you. how would you feel if it was the other way around eg dh said he had the snip, was a lie and you got pregnant after agreeing no more children. Just hope you have a strong enough relationship to pull through this.

Justaboutmanaging · 19/06/2007 08:09

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jules99 · 19/06/2007 00:28

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talcy0 · 19/06/2007 00:28

Tina...i hope you get your wish too

Tell him youve had coil removed....wait a while....then sweet talk him.

Best of luck to you x

talcy0 · 19/06/2007 00:25

night

AbRoller · 19/06/2007 00:25

thank you talcy, I needed that. I felt so rotten.

Jules understands though so not so bad now.

I'm gonna head to bed.
Night all

Sossy · 19/06/2007 00:23

Goodluck I hope you have another baby!

AbRoller · 19/06/2007 00:22

thanks jules.

best of luck to you both

talcy0 · 19/06/2007 00:20

Jules.....enjoy trying
and i will keep everything crossed for you xxxx

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