To dread turning 50.

For very personal reasons, and none related to vanity, I dreaded turning 50 and was deliberately miserable because of it. What a fool I was.

I like Emma Thompson's take on being in your 50s

The interviewer asks: I thought 50 was the new 35?

"Can I just say, very loudly, bollocks. If you look after yourself and you're healthy, then you'll have the energy to do things. But not to recognise getting older for what it is? I do think the infantilisation of our generation is one of the huge issues of our time. People wanting to be 35 when they're 50 makes me think: why? Why don't you be 50 and be good at that? And also embody the kinds of choices that are sustainable at that age."

What sort of choices? "Well, I see people starting life over and over again. And you want to say: just go deeper into the one you've got. Because you can skim very easily. It's set up for that because we're such a disposable society. And I think that relationships are regarded as more disposable than they were, and that's short-sighted of us."

I've put parts in bold because I think they are very wise.

full interview here

And it's not just being in a happier situation.

It's to do with being comfortable in my own skin, I accept myself, the way I look the traits I have.
I can "see through" people, understand the motives of others clearly, I can spot a liar, I am unlikely to get hoodwinked.
I don't stress about stuff, I am less easily rattled, I take things in my stride, I can use my life experiences in dealing with new situations.
I like not being cat called in public, no wolf whistles from building sites or seedy stares in public. I like not being the subject of unwanted sexual focus in public- it's very liberating.

I love being older, a real sense of knowing who I am and not caring about other people’s opinions of me !

This!!!

I am 56- Life is so much more enjoyable than when I was in my 20s.

Seriously, age is just a number. I am 60 & thoroughly enjoying life; I am in a job I love with a great bunch of colleagues, a few of us are 60 but most are a lot younger but we all seem to enjoy each other’s company. I have never worked with such a nice team. My parents are in their late 80s & loving life too, still getting out and about & seeking new challenges.
You can meet people who are ‘old’ in their 20s, I work with a lot of volunteers & we have people in their 90s still busy & contributing to society. . It is your attitude that shapes the person you are.
I love being older, a real sense of knowing who I am and not caring about other people’s opinions of me !

Some people would have loved the chance to get to 50. Two families I know where the mum has died in their 20's and the other in her 30's leaving a total of 5 children behind under 5. Sorry to morbid but embrace the life you have and be thrilled with achieving your 50 years!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My kids will still be teenager too so probably more angst !

But better than dead 💀

Love these comments!
I am nearly 60 and having the time of my life. Fuck off with your hand cream, floral scarves and garden centre teas.....I want tickets to gigs and bottles of good gin.
Getting rid of a knob of a husband in my 50s helped.....

There are some definite benefits like no more periods once you're past the uncertainty of the perimenopause. More confidence in yourself. Invisibility to some types of men is a bonus. I turned 50 the year my dd turned 5 and we both enjoyed the similarity in the numbers

I am in my 50s- this is the best decade yet!!

No young ones to look after, time to get really fit, spend more time with OH, ramp up my business.

I love it.

I turned 50 last month and I have an 11 year old so definitely still a hands on Mum.
50 is fine. Nothing you can do to stop it happening so you might as well embrace it.

Bad side - I suspect No one will fancy me
Good side - not dead !

50 was my hardest birthday too OP. Having sailed through all other birthdays with a cheery enthusiasm, it was like hitting a brick wall. I just had a feeling of time running out, and if I wanted to do something it had to be right now as there might not be a tomorrow. I wouldn’t actually be living forever. Depressing, but that’s how I felt.

I’m now 54, and 50 still remains my worst birthday. In a way I’m glad I feel like that, it’s made me make the best of everything. Enjoy my good health etc. And I have a fulltime job after 20 years as a sahm. That has been amazing.

It is what it is, and you’ll be fine.

I will be turning 50 in a while and whilst I am not dreading it and know it is only a number I really don’t want to say my age. Quite happy with 48/49 but every time I think 50 it pushes me a little more down.

My DC are adults, I have a DH and the money and freedom to please myself it is just the number that gets me. I don’t want to be seen as over the hill at work and as the 2nd oldest in the dept I will be. Trying very hard to keep the significance of my birthday quiet but I think too many friends and colleagues know.

DH mentioned my birthday last weekend asking if there was anything I specifically wanted to do or as a present. I was quite sharp with my answer. Along the lines on this was my 50th birthday and surely by now someone could have an idea that didn’t need me to tell them what to do. In context we have been together 30 years and he mentioned having discussed this with my siblings too.

I'm nearly 60. I still ride my horse competitively, am learning a new language and am planning a camping trip to Africa in 2020 as a jointbcelebration of both our 60th birthdays and our ruby wedding anniversary. The 50s are what you make of them but it's great to have some freedom after raising kids. The only downside is older parents.

on the Christmas thread ... the gifts for older ladies section 'perhaps a scarf or some nice hand lotion or take her to a garden centre for afternoon tea.

I'm guilty of poking my nose into every 'gifts for decrepit, ancient over 50s' thread I stumble over and throwing all the crappy hand cream at other posters's heads.

Most exciting decade of my life so far! New and pressing worries, certainly - but so much volcanic emotion and such hunger in my brain for new challenges and achievements. I have astonished myself. (And all the dullards who thought they knew me! )

I turn 50 next year. Not fussed about it to be honest. Certainly won't be having a big do or anything. I'm a single mum with 2 teenagers and one 7 year old at home so it's just trudging on really one year older. I can't see it making a huge difference, it won't be until I'm 60 that the youngest will be an adult. I am trying to get a bit fitter though as I certainly feel more achy now. Can't wait to no longer have periods though

I'm 52, and am loving my 50s...I ha no fucks left to give; I am practising the MN mantra that 'no' is a complete sentence, and I'm trying very hard to be firmer with my Mum.

I have the wherewithal and freedom to do what I want, and it is liberating. Ds is 23 and can cope on his own (although he is back home post MA). My 40s were spent getting him through secondary education, A levels and into university, and my 50s, apart from proofing his dissertations, have been hands off.

I am where I want to be. Long may it last.

Turning 50 is great. My fifties were my most dynamic decade yet. Moved from Greece to UK where I lived in Surrey Cornwall London and then settled in Scarborough. learned new skill, went self employed and got married. Oh, and stopped having periods which was very liberating. I've j
ust turned 61.

I am 55 started dating again this year. Now have wonderful boyfriend and happier than ever. Feel like a teenager.

I'm in my 60's and life is wonderful. Turning 50 is nothing in the scheme of things - it's just another day in your life. Sounds to me that you have other things worrying you , and maybe you are pinning it all on your age instead of looking at the bigger picture of your life. Throw away your calendar and focus on what needs fixing , rather than on this number. Good luck !

Yes I thought 40 was the worst, I got absolutely shit faced a few months before at my works leaving do (first time in a few years since I had DD), I could barely get out of bed the next morning. I mourned my youth.

I found my 40s hard tbh, maybe thats because I spent most of the decade as a skint single parent, whose social life consisted of once and a blue moon lunches with friends.

50s on the other hand have been great, DD became a teenager (and has since left home), I got more freedom, she could come and pick my up from drinks with friends when she got her licence every now and then. I've had time to go swimming regularly and I have lost weight.

DD is also great to spend time with, no longer held up in her cave room or with friends.

I had no problem with 40 or 50 , but I'll be 60 in 18 months. I'm not looking forward to it! Maybe it's because women used to be pensioners at 60 ? I don't feel old and I'm told I don't look my age but it's still bugging me a bit. I've considered having a party and embracing it. I had a party for my 50th but it was quite a staid affair. I hope to be able to afford having a party and it being more lively!

I think it’s peoples perception of 50 that’s the problem it’s rammed down our throats every day, over 50’s funeral plans, free pens, over 50’s ladies keep fit classes, the strap line is “if you’re aged 50 -80” 50 is lumped in with old people, it really needs re branding.

Roll with it as there is nothing you can do to stop yourself from ageing.