To be annoyed at my DM still treating me like a teenager?

Ooooh that's so annoying. My mum is the same. The first time she visited my new place after I'd moved in with DP she asked if I'd tidied up just for her! and no she wasn't joking

My mum still says daft stuff like ‘Don’t forget to wear clean clothes’ if I’m going to a job interview or similar. It’s extremely unlikely I’ll forget to do that but Thanks mum . It’s just a hard habit to grow out of I think and in my case I have to do a lot for my mum that she can’t do for herself anymore so it’s her way of still feeling useful.

I am guilty of giving my son the same sweets in his Christmas stocking well into adulthood only to find out he never really liked them. That’s not what he said when he was 8! 🤨

Yeah but... I bet loads of you would still go to your mum for help if you got one of these things wrong! Huge numbers of mums bale out their beloved adult offspring, spend hours helping them when they get into difficult situations. It works two ways. I say be tolerant of your anxious mums as long as it’s not too undermining.

I often turn to my mum and remark how it's amazing how I cope when she isn't around.

At least we laughed about it. MIL refuses to acknowledge that DH is not the exact same person he was when he lived at home (25 years ago). She gets very irritable and makes out we lie about our lives. She'll ask us about a holiday and interrupt to say that DH doesn't like fish so why did I make him go to a seafood place or that he only likes rock so why did I insist on going to the opera? Every time he insists that he chose the restaurant or whatever she gets this look like he's in an abusive relationship and I'm forcing him to do stuff he hates. Because nobody has ever outgrown being a bit of a fussy eater and developed new interests.

I’ve had a good laugh reading everyone’s responses. Especially the FIL explaining to DH about filling the kettle with water @DNAwrangler.
My mum like to tell me where to park when I’m driving “don’t park next to that car, they will dent your car when they open their doors”. She thinks everyone who drives 4WDs purposely swing their doors open denting other cars 😂🙄

While I know an element of this is quite normal and just a case of always being your parents child, that's not quite the same imo as the parent who seems determined to define you by some "flaw" they recall from 20 odd years ago and keep trotting out this "fact" about you when it just doesn't apply anymore and hasn't for a long time.

Thankfully my mother doesn't do it about everything but she's another who's convinced I'm just terribly untidy and will make comments such as "Ooh yes you've guests coming, you're probably racing home to clean aren't you" with a knowing, almost satisfied look.

Or in conversation with other people, insist that "Oh CantSleep" has always been so messy you should have seen their room when they were teens! It's said in this sort of conspiratorial what are they like, eh^? tone that really irritates but in such a way that correcting them makes you the crabby arse who "takes everything too seriously" grr .

Yes I was a messy teen but perhaps that had something to do with my sister and I sharing a tiny room with one wardrobe and one shelf unit!! Hardly surprising a lot of our stuff had to live on the floor... I'm 42 now and no, I'm not raising my children in a shit hole. Which she knows because a. she's been in the bloody house often enough and b. we pay a cleaner (much to her horror).

The other version of this is adults who have left home and lead well structured, grown up lives. But as soon as they walk back into their parents house revert to being teenagers, expecting home service/ putting their feet up on the coffee table and generally regressing.
Unless its serious interfering in your lives l would grin and bear it.
My dcs ask each other if they got a mom text when they are heading off on holidays etc. They think its hilarious and l have to sit on my hands not to do it.

My mother grabs at me when I cross the road, tuts at my language/hairstyle/clothes and still asks me if I need to go to the toilet before going anywhere. I left home 30 years ago. It is extremely annoying.

I' m 52 years and my mom still makes face when I buy black clothes.I lived in black as a teenager and always got the comment "black for a change" She hates black clothes and I think it has something to do with having to wear black for a year while in mourning in Ireland right up until the 70's .She loves blouses too!

If I’m at my mum’s house and she’s popping out to the shops or whatever and leaving me alone in the house, she still tells me not to answer the phone or the door like she did when me and my sister were under ten. I’m 40 in a week!

There's always one or two.

I'm sorry for your loss Susie but that does not mean nobody else in the world is allowed to have a moan. Every thread about parents if adults has one of those posts on it. Your relationship with your mother was your own. You don't get to scold everyone else on an anonymous forum about theirs with their mothers and be listened to, because they have different relationships with different parents.

Arf at 'mumsplaining'

I have lived in 4 countries, I travel weekly for work (mainly flights) and my mum still says 'keep an eye on your luggage mind', 'don't lose your passport' or a bewildering array of other travel based 'advices' based on her experience of once getting on an intercity train between Spalding and Durham in the late 80's.

She once asked me how I managed to iron my 'blouses' when travelling with work. She was aghast that 1. I haven't ironed since 1993 3. Hotels have irons and 3. I don't wear 'blouses'.

Aw. Lovely dms on here.
Honestly DC's we mean well

I am a mum, my eldest is nearly 30. I don't usually spend too long at her house, we more often meet up elsewhere, but recently I was there and popped to the loo... the loo looked like it hadn't been cleaned since they moved in 2years ago! So in my case my daughter obviously is still as she was at home ! I was shocked and did say 'it's a bit black under the waterline' she just laughed and said it's just a loo what do I expect ? (Err I expect it to be cleaner than that ! ) for the sake of peace I dropped the subject ... but I was soooo tempted to get supplies from the local shop and re visit the 'this is how we clean a loo ' lesson that I gave her as a teenager !!!
Don't feel bad when us mum's reminisce - we probably hold dear those memories - as you lot grow up so fast !

Tables turned here. My DD tells me off for going barefoot in the house. My feet will get cold don't you know!

Y'all need to get a grip! My mama died two years ago and I'd give ANYTHING for her to be here fussing at me or even insulting me about anything at all. Enjoy your parents while you can. Because if you love them, it's devastating when they die. And you can't get time with them back.

I wish I'd had parents like it. It's just Caring and loving. I am probably like it to my DC's. Albeit they are I their 20s and still live at home. It's meant well.
If you hadn't had it you would wish you had.
Believe me.

I’ve found my people! My Dad can rarely visit without alluding to my lack of tidiness as a teenager. (We had a cleaner; my room had to be hooverable once a week; the majority of the floor mess was the notes and books relating to my a Levels in which - if we’re harking back to teenage achievement- I did very well). If my children tidy up now Dad will say “well you’ve not got that from your mummy”. Catering for 10 at Christmas with an eight month old, working full time, the only thing my dad commented on was that one small surface in the whole house was a bit messy “such a shame you couldn’t have done the top for the piano”. It’s like a stuck record but I do say “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t bother saying it” in earshot to my children which has helped to sink in the message.

My Mum has been dead for 15 years, but whenever I leave the house I can hear her voice saying " Have you got your glasses ?"

I forgot my glasses maybe twice in my life but she always said that forever afterwards and it drove me mad ! But Mums never change. Let it wash over you.

My mum always said of me that my bras always fell jam side up (ie I’m lucky).

That’s a new one! 😂

As a mother, you try to hold on to the beloved precious child who no longer exists. You love and cherish the adult who replaced that child, but you still feel a connection to the early version which you knew so intimately. These comments are just a parent's attempt to keep that child alive in their memory.

I think mums will always be mums! The other day my MIL asked me if I'd been using my credit card and if I'm being good with money. I just smiled and said no I've not needed to use it and yes I'm always good with money. It drives me absolutely insane but I prefer to ignore it for an easy life!

I think there is a differenc ever week the instinctive caring/can’t get out of the ‘parent’ Mindset comment and the fundamentally misunderstanding tour kids/forgetting that they can and do change.

My mum always said of me that my bras always fell jam side up (ie I’m lucky). I think it took until I had twins and really had a hard time for the first year and then another in quite close succession for her to see that my life wasn’t a walk in the park.

But the odd joke about the time I thought I was never coming home as my granddad ran out of petrol and my younger brother had to push the car down some Irish back lane is fair cop and the stuff that families are made off.

MIL. However cannot recognise her children have changed. And so they pull further and further away from her. It’s sad but there are knot so many times you can here the same stories of how her sons misbehaved and she punished them or didn’t understand or try to with out losing sympathy and realising why they don’t answer questions directly.

You are always a child in your parents eyes! My mum calls me before going on holiday with the hotel details and tells me to call her mobile if I need anything - my kids are grown up, we are middle aged (pains me to write that I don't like that label) and we are far more likely to have to rush because one of them is ill!