To feel aggravated and harangued by schools constant demands for cake, sponsorship, help?

OP - you've done your time so dont worry about it at all. you are probably asked because you are approachable - take it as a compliment - you can just say 'my cake baking days are over but i'll buy one' or similar

i get hacked off with some parents who say they are too busy - they aren't - unless you count sitting in costa coffee as a hectic schdeule

deepinlaundry, I think schools vary hugely. All the members of our PTA currently are school staff or WOTH parents...

deepinlaundry - I understand that. Our chair is a SAHM, as is our catering manager. I work for myself and the other 2 committee members work 3 or 4 days a week - so it's a real mix.

However, there are mums at school who are SAHM with all their children in school - you see them dressed in their gym gear in the morning so are clearly spending their morning there straight from drop off. Fine, that's their choice - but no griping that you don't have time to help cos frankly that's a pile of sh*t. Just say you don't want to - be honest about it fgs.

It's a vicious circle then - it's only 'cliquey' (god, that that word) because generally there is a small group of people who do all the work, become good friends as a consequence and then do things outside of school.

I wish people would just grow up on that one tbh - we are in our 30s and 40s, not teenagers.

get your husband to buy the cakes etc.

Our school has approx 33 kids per class - 2 classes per year so plenty of parents yet the PTA and Friends Comms still struggle to find enough help. I've spoken to a few Mums before and they've often commented that they volunteer to help with a fayre, for example, and then get badgered for everything else afterwards - I quite often hear the comment 'helped last year, never again'....

I've also got the impression from some Mums that our PTA/Friends are a bit on the 'clicky' side....ie live in huge great houses, drive expensive 4x4s and do a lot of socialising/dinner parties etc etc outside of school and alot of Mums don't feel they can be a part of that and would looked down upon driving an old Fiesta, living off chicken nuggets and live in a council house! (hey, sounds like me!) Difficult to explain but I guess there's a certain amount of snobbery attached along there somewhere!

Grr, occasionally we get a cheque sent into the Parents' Association via school with a note saying 'I'm really sorry I couldn't make the but here's a contribution'. Always appreciated.

i have been on our schools PTA for 10yrs now, its the same old story if you don't do it no-one will. Also sec, of our local gala committee, again only the same 4 parents struggle to provide village with a full week's programme of events. I find people will attend events but no-one seems to actually want to help run it!!

Rosa, I'm very much looking forward to buying the cakes so I can stop feeliong guilty about feeding the ds s shop bought cakes. I'll be disappointed if ds1's school don't have a cake stall at every fundraising event !

I am on the PTA and would be delighted with your offer Grrr. Buyers are just as necessary as bakers.
Curiouscat, I feel your pain - but clearly you have done your bit. The problem is in our school there is a core of people who do their bit and a larger group who are happy to reap the benefits but not to help out in any way however small.
For example: I run a stall at the Summer Fair. I have asked various parents if they would consider helping out for half an hour during the fair - most say no, even though both they and their partners are going to be there so keeping an eye on kids should not be an issue.
Every year it is the same people working their asses off whereas if more people gave a little of their time, it would be much les stressful all round.
But clearly the working mums cannot give as much time as the SAHMs - for me this year I am in the position of having time to spare so I am using it for the benefit of the school - when I am working fulltime again I won't be able to and I won't feel guilty either.

I am on the pta but don't bake cakes very often, with 5 kids inc a baby I find it easier to go to meetings, print out stuff at home, help at the fairs with baby in toe, and dh does the baking

Grrr, not offended at all.

Plus, no obligation to bake cakes - honestly! I can't bake to save my life so I never do! I buy one if I get round to it but I do 1000 other things so it's just not an issue I get uptight about.

Nobody on our committee expects people to do things they generally can't - physically, financially or time wise but I think everyone can do something however small. Even if it's just coming to the fair.

btw, I do however think that you've manned the cake tins for long enough. Could you have a word with the relevant individual on the PTA and ask to be considered a financial suporter only from now on ?

I have no experience of this minefield of school life yet as ds1 starts school in September but I know that...

a) my baking is rubbish, truly pants !

b) I am always short of time.

Those of you on PTA's , would you be offended if you were approached by someone like me saying "I don't have much free time and my baking is appalling, put me down for £xx and I'll make sure I also attend the event with my children to support everyone else's efforts." (I'll also be first in line at the cake stall as home made cakes are a special treat in our house).

I don't want to be seen as flash with money but I do find that committing time stresses me in a way that committing financial support just doesn't and I need to keep stress out of my life as much as I can as it makes me not a nice mummy to be around.

Opinions greatly appreciated.

If all of your children are now at school and you have a full-time live in au--pair, couldn't you ask the au-pair if she could bake something. If she can't bake, have a session with you her and a couple of the kids so that she has a chance to learn one or two recipes. It needn't be a sandwich cake, it could be something a lot less risky like cookies/flapjack etc.

It is a kind of child related duty after all

I'm aware that we probably operate very differently from a larger school, but it does mean that even if only one set of parents doesn't contribute then the ones who do have so much more to take on/provide.

curiouscat....is it not just simply a case that you simply don't have the time to do your cake baking etc if you're leaving at 7.15am and not getting home until late?

I'm an office bearer on the PTA at our small village school (under 15 pupils).

We always send out a welcome letter to any new parents explaining that as we are so small every parent is automatically a member of the PTA.

As we are so small it is very difficult thinking of ways to raise money as most of the usual events are unfeasible.

I do feel that sometimes parents get fed up with being asked, but what are we supposed to do?

I do agree that parents should get involved with fundraising at schools etc...but not all parents actually can. My husband works away a lot and I work shifts so I am always juggling the demands of running a home and meeting all the usual family commitments....I don't have anyone come in and help me and all my friends have children and we're all in the same boat. I can't afford an Au Pair/Childminder/babysitter so the least I can do is provide what the school ask for as best I can - to moan about the amount we're asked to provide is neither here nor there when you consider the fun and enjoyment the kids get out of the new equipment etc that is bought by the fundraising and all good committees/PTA's should be telling you where the money is being spent.

Does your PTA not tell you what they spend the money on?

I think that's a key thing tbh. I recently did a newsletter and the amount of positive feedback I've had from it is amazing. People really jsut didn't know what the PTA did, why they did it and what, in school, had actually been funded. The newsletter also stated our next 'goal' so that hopefully it will motivate people to try and help us reach it as it's something that all the kids will benefit from.

I can see why some people might find the whole thing intimidating as well though.