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AIBU?

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AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

666 replies

Otherwize · 06/10/2018 23:48

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

OP posts:
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17
itsbritneybiatches · 07/10/2018 22:43

They are too like us.

Loads of nice ones but loads of narcissistic twat ones

EmperorTomatoRetchup · 07/10/2018 22:41

I would never advise anyone to swim with dolphins.

That's not fair, it is the dream of many dolphins to swim with backpacking gap year students from the English home counties before they die.

t00dle00 · 07/10/2018 22:37

I would never advise anyone to swim with dolphins.

I was on holiday years and years ago and narrowly missed being attacked by one in a controlled environment.

Never, ever again.

babbscrabbs · 07/10/2018 22:35

Haven't RTFT and I don't usually like to generalise, but dolphins have always struck me as proper cunts. If someone paid me to go dolphin watching I'd be livid, because I could do with the money so would have to say yes.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 07/10/2018 22:29
ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/10/2018 22:26

Just don't look up goldfinches, britney.

I cried.

itsbritneybiatches · 07/10/2018 22:23

Best thread ever. Snorted a few times.

Off to see why robins are bastards

PastaRedWine · 07/10/2018 22:23

On weird animal and human interactions, did anyone else listen to radio 4 the other morning (Thursday??) early. It was all about milking male bulls for sperm and interviewing the person who did it.

I normally adore radio 4. But I had to turn off.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/10/2018 22:17

Fuck no, even the rubber ducks will be exiled in the cupboard, dirty bastards.

Oysterbabe · 07/10/2018 22:13

On second thoughts, that bath I had planned for tonight might not be such a good idea after all

Just don't have it in QuackPorridgeBacon nan's bathroom.

WTBE · 07/10/2018 22:11

What would happen if a sloth was getting hunted by another animal? Would it still be remarkably slow?

Sorry missing point of OP but this thread is so informative 😂

SerenDippitty · 07/10/2018 22:09

My favourite Sloth joke - A sloth was attacked by a gang of snails. When asked if he could give a description, the sloth said “ well not really, it all happened so quickly I didn’t get a good look at them”.

UpstartCrow · 07/10/2018 22:05

I see what you did there Grin

If you are disappointed in an animals behaviour, you were probably anthropomorphising them in the first place.

waxy1 · 07/10/2018 21:56

I read this thread and literally flipped out.

donquixotedelamancha · 07/10/2018 21:45

I ❤ pandas. And sloths. Lazy animals are my spirit guides

It is true that sloths are slow, quiet, and boring. They are lackadaisical, they dawdle, and they dillydally. They are also unflappable, languid, stoic, impassive, sluggish, lethargic, placid, calm, mellow, laid-back, and well slothful! Sloths are relaxed and tranquil, and they like to live in peace, but they are not lazy. That’s just how they are. Sloths like to do things slowly, slowly, slowly

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/10/2018 21:42

Am also watching The Abyss on Netflix.
not helping.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/10/2018 21:40

Dolphins are at least easier to avoid

On second thoughts, that bath I had planned for tonight might not be such a good idea after all..

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 07/10/2018 21:35

I agree with the Panda hate. I’ve heard that the male penises are often too small to be of any use. Can anyone confirm?

I don’t mind dolphins and I love orcas, intelligent but they can be ruthless. They would work with humans and herd baleen whales to their deaths in NSW.

I think with most animals you can write off emotional intelligence but not with dolphins and whales.

donquixotedelamancha · 07/10/2018 21:25

Dolphins are at least easier to avoid.

That's what they want you to think.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/10/2018 21:12

I'm scared of cows.

Dolphins are at least easier to avoid.

Hazardswan · 07/10/2018 20:43

With you OP! Dolphins are overrated bastards and they are smart enough to know what they are doing.

Ants can fuck off though.

I ❤ pandas.

And sloths.

Lazy animals are my spirit guides Grin

Thirtyrock39 · 07/10/2018 19:50

This thread is brilliant
To the pp who asked what do orcas do there was a planet earth or blue planet where a group of orcas chased a mother whale and her calf for hours and the whale was desperately trying to protect her calf and in the end the orca bastards won and killed the calf but only for the sake of it not for food or anything it was awful - I'm surprised sea world don't promote this clip more heavily ! Total pr orca disaster!!

ArcheryAnnie · 07/10/2018 19:46

There is actually a legit academic paper entitled "Moeliker, C.W., 2001 – The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae) – DEINSEA 8: 243-247 [ISSN 0932-9308]. Published 9 November 2001"

Dead duck fuckers.

Lougle · 07/10/2018 19:22

There are days when I need a jack for my jaw! All these years of having certain 'boxes' that creatures fit in, and this thread has just exploded them.

Emz1989 · 07/10/2018 19:21

Cannot stop coming back to this thread. The thread that keeps on giving! And for that, I thank you op Smile

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