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AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

666 replies

Otherwize · 06/10/2018 23:48

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

OP posts:
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17
Twillow · 08/10/2018 08:03

To be honest it would be more appropriate to be incensed with humanity. They do all of the evil dolphins do with bells on, plus at least dolphins haven't invented plastic and nuclear weapons and fucked their own environment up...

Havaina · 08/10/2018 07:42

@Captain!arvelDanvers

I agree with the Panda hate. I’ve heard that the male penises are often too small to be of any use. Can anyone confirm?

What, personally? 😮

BestZebbie · 08/10/2018 06:53

I am amazed that nobody has yet mentioned hyenas and their fake penises - female hyenas have grown their genitals into a long thin external tube which makes it extremely hard for them to be made pregnant by rape (sex is so awkward that it requires their cooperation), which has freed them from being controlled by the males and created a female-led society. Although it also makes childbirth difficult with a fairly high mortality rate.

MrsRespoDad · 08/10/2018 06:30

I once saw footage of frogs having their wicked way and, dears , I was quite overcome.

PinkLady01 · 08/10/2018 04:35

Dolphins always have boners and try to masturbate on you, true fact

DryHeave · 08/10/2018 04:19

Has blow hole sex been covered?

On the positive side, they use their sonar as a vibrator. I will never get David Attenborough saying this line out of my head: “the female dolphin buzzes the other female’s genital area”.

Dare I suggest it’s male dolphin violence that’s the issue?

EBearhug · 08/10/2018 03:45

It was all about milking male bulls for sperm and interviewing the person who did it.

I once went on a trip to an AI farm, with Young Farmers. It was definitely educational. Though actually, the best bit was pouring liquid nitrogen on the floor.

I work in IT, and I once made the error of observing that AI didn't mean artificial intelligence to me, as I'd grown up on a farm.

missnevermind · 08/10/2018 00:29

Sorry but
Wanking off a dolphin....
Gender fluid dolphins....
😂😂😂😂😂

Iused2BanOptimist · 08/10/2018 00:25

Personally I've always hated kangaroos.
They pretend they're just boxing with their arms then when you get close they jump up and kick the shit out of you with their legs. Just when you stagger to your feet they whip around and whack you with their tail.
And they can't even skip.
Cheating bastards.

Also I had really bad d&v after eating ragout of roo. EnvySad

Lweji · 08/10/2018 00:12

What would happen if a sloth was getting hunted by another animal?

They do have very long sharp claws. And they aren't extinct. Do the maths.

Or, with all that hair and algae growing on it, only desperately hungry predators will even try it.
You just need to watch Ice Age to learn this stuff.

ButchyRestingFace · 08/10/2018 00:10

ButchyRestingFace WYSIWYG except the chimp has a slightly bored expression which is really disconcerting.

I’ve seen videos of pigeons being eaten alive by pelicans and dogs by pythons, and they invariably exude an air of bored bemusement and meh, no fucks given.

(You should learn how to open a new incognito window in your browser btw)

I should. Grin

UpstartCrow · 08/10/2018 00:06

ButchyRestingFace WYSIWYG except the chimp has a slightly bored expression which is really disconcerting. (You should learn how to open a new incognito window in your browser btw)
There's also 'chimp throws a raccoon'. Chimps are bastards.

NoLogicInThis · 07/10/2018 23:54

Wow!
After a bad day reading this thread has made me laugh that someone is actually enraged about dolphins .
I do hope this is real that someone is nuts enough to have a vendetta against dolphins trying to take over the world

ButchyRestingFace · 07/10/2018 23:36

Have you ever seen the video of the monkey raping a frog? Seriously fucked up.

Only the prospect of what my internet search history would suggest to a police officer in a dawn raid is stopping from me from googling...

Iused2BanOptimist · 07/10/2018 23:28

Speakingwoman : set text for English GCSE GrinGrin This whole thread for biology syllabus.

Titsywoo · 07/10/2018 23:22

I always think we don't give ourselves enough credit as humans. We do some shitty things but animals are really just selfish bastards who kill and rape all the time but they can't go to prison for it. In comparison we are fairly well behaved. Have you ever seen the video of the monkey raping a frog? Seriously fucked up.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 07/10/2018 23:18

Someone one (who I suspect has a cruel streak and wanted to give posters nightmares) posted a picture of crocodiles walking in the hind legs in a pool Shock

I couldn’t get this picture out of my mind and do believe hey they are waiting on the banks in crocodile watching tourists spots in Australia and one day they shall all work together and tip a boat over

itsbritneybiatches · 07/10/2018 23:14

I asked
About swimming with dolphins ages ago and everyone was like this is so cruel. Totally put me off it.

No one mentioned any of this shit.

I don't want to swim with the fuckers now

speakingwoman · 07/10/2018 23:12

The OP should not only be in classics, it should be a set text for English GCSE

DisneyMillie · 07/10/2018 23:12

I’m with you OP - I’ve never trusted dolphins - have the suspicion they might be evolved sharks waiting until your feeling nice and safe with them in the water.

iliketomoveitmoveitMOVEIT · 07/10/2018 23:01

See also crocodiles, BigChoc. Those things haven’t evolved any further for many years because THEY DON’T NEED TO. They are already the perfect killing machine. If they had opposable thumbs... shudder.

pallisers · 07/10/2018 23:00

Animals behaving like, well, animals. the bastards.

Who is this dim? I also blame disney.

BigChocFrenzy · 07/10/2018 22:58

Just think who would rule the world if cats had opposable thumbs ...

Wouldn't need you to open the tins any more
What use would you be ... except as contents of a tin

BigChocFrenzy · 07/10/2018 22:56

All this evil Dolphinphobia is literally KILLING dolphins
I'm reporting you all for being evil phobics
< Dolphin Rights Activist flouncing off to kill a stupid bloody panda >

darkblu · 07/10/2018 22:56

I agree and agree that killer whales are even worse Angry

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