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AIBU?

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AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

666 replies

Otherwize · 06/10/2018 23:48

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
thenaughtyone · 08/10/2018 21:20

@BabySharkDooDooDooDoo She's still going!!! She's a real delight. I love this thread. I've not laughed so much in ages.

AgathaRaisinDetra · 08/10/2018 21:18

Dolphin Square. I rest my case, m'lud.

Laiste · 08/10/2018 21:18

Octopusses (Octopi?) have penises (peni?) which swim off on their own for a shag?? ShockConfused

I'm very tired. I now believe i'm dreaming this thread Grin

Banterlope · 08/10/2018 21:16

PolarBearkshire, as it's on the internet they would obviously get electrocuted if they read this. Plus there's the problem with flipper dexterity, for example. They ain't that dumb.

PolarBearkshire · 08/10/2018 21:09

Wow. Dolphins gang rape... i had to pinch myself to realise if ehat i read is not a dream.
Animal world is ALWAYS less crazy than himan world.
I fear to imagine what dolphin would think reading this hahahahaah

Witchofwisteria · 08/10/2018 21:08

YABU...mainly because ITS JUST A FUCKING DOLPHIN

Gg1510 · 08/10/2018 20:59

Wow.....
"Dolphins try and make out they are nice and cute...."
The dolphins are plotting against the world with their clicks and smiles... now that's a conspiracy theory that needs investigating.... Immediately

Are you aware this is mums net and not wwf?

Also give your head a shake, this conversation is for stoners or the end of a night debate when talking utter bobbins is relevant

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 08/10/2018 20:56

thenaughtyone i was just about to write an identical post saying the same haha

thenaughtyone · 08/10/2018 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 08/10/2018 20:51

DERFs 😂

donquixotedelamancha · 08/10/2018 20:39

I think there are some pretty nasty DERFs on this board. I'm reporting the thread to the Green party.

DERFs are always anti gang rape- bigots. I think you would be better reporting to west Yorkshire police.

Although the Green Party have recruited a number of dolphins as election agents, I believe.

winniestone37 · 08/10/2018 20:28

God help you love. Thanks for the laugh though. Animals aren't humans.

FekkoTheLawyer · 08/10/2018 20:28

Oh course dolphins are fluid. How else would they slip through the water?

Mutinerie · 08/10/2018 20:21

This is the best thing I ever read on Mumsnet. Thank you dear Otherwize.

AgathaRaisinDetra · 08/10/2018 20:21

Can you keep a detachable penis in your crocodile handbag? What would happen at the airport? Who would want to get that out in the Something To Declare aisle?

RhythmStix · 08/10/2018 20:20

Do dolphins identify as male or female though? Can you be cis dolphin or indeed dophin fluid? I think there are some pretty nasty DERFs on this board. I'm reporting the thread to the Green party.Wink

FekkoTheLawyer · 08/10/2018 20:18

No this is a dinosaur.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=piq6MlRiiW8

donquixotedelamancha · 08/10/2018 20:18

google Argonaut's Detachable Penis. You don't want that in your bath.

I dunno, it's been a while- beggars can't be choosers.

donquixotedelamancha · 08/10/2018 20:15

They look so dinosaury! Chickens so not.

Dinosaurs (or at least many of them) had feathers. Velociraptors were similar in size to chickens and looked like this:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Velociraptor_Restoration.png

theredjellybean · 08/10/2018 20:15

Haven't rtwt but agree with OP.
They are not cute
They gang rape young females
They kill their young
They are not cute or fluffy.

Banterlope · 08/10/2018 20:12

The sex lives of pandas is interesting. I've heard that they just look at each other and then say, "Aw you're so cute" and then they just cuddle. Stupid endangered bears.

I've read about an octopus with a detachable penis that swims off looking for a shag. Well sneaky – google Argonaut's Detachable Penis. You don't want that in your bath.

I feel bad for the dolphin PR in this thread. Sensing a money-making opportunity I've tried to purchase dolphin-net.com, but I think it's sending out all the wrong messages.

FekkoTheLawyer · 08/10/2018 19:38

The biggest freshwater croc ever, Sarcosuchus imperator, lived 110 million years ago, grew as long as 40 feet (12 meters), and weighed up to eight metric tons (17,500 pounds) so pretty old though.

I also read that crocodiles are related to birds but that just made my head hurt. It was on Reddit though so most likely a load of toss.

FekkoTheLawyer · 08/10/2018 19:35

Nooooo poo. They look so dinosaury! Chickens so not.

donquixotedelamancha · 08/10/2018 19:35

Crocodiles are dinosaurs. Very cool.

Crocodiles are not dinosaurs. Birds are dinosaurs.

user1486250399 · 08/10/2018 19:35

Best thread ever.
Classics pleeeeease!

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