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AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

666 replies

Otherwize · 06/10/2018 23:48

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

OP posts:
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donquixotedelamancha · 22/10/2018 00:39

You will never defeat us we are ready for you.

So you admit you nefarious scheme? We at PADDL have been watching you for years. You thought all those people hanging of the end of boats were tourists?

Whereas your intelligence gathering is laughable. What about those two you sent to scope out Brentford high street last week? They were rumbled as soon as that charity collector tried to get their direct debit details. No good having a false mustache when you can only communicate in clicks and whistles.

emss55 · 22/10/2018 00:04

Of course you are talking out of your blowhole. You will never defeat us we are ready for you. Our weaknesses are a nice bit of cod or mackerel, however if you really want to treat us we all love a bit of salmon and Xmas is a coming. The larger greedy buggers amongst us do love a penguin or two but not that chocolate covered rubbish .....pleeeez give us some credit.

waxy1 · 21/10/2018 23:30

Any git that carries haemoglobin in muscle tissue is a cunt.

Fact.

donquixotedelamancha · 21/10/2018 22:37

But I do have a blowhole and you don't.....or do you?

What do you think I'm talking out of?

When you smiley faced, gang raping child murderers finally do rise up against us we have the means to defeat you- fresh water. It's like crack to you cetaceans, you will starve yourself while on it.

We of PADDL (porpoise and dolphin defence league) know you weaknesses. We are ready.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 21/10/2018 21:56

😂😂😂😂. Haven't RTFT but please don't read too much about elephant seals 😂

emss55 · 21/10/2018 21:51

You have now wiped the smile right off my face. I am a warm blooded mammalian capable of giving birth producing milk for my babies and breathing oxygen just like you. But I do have a blowhole and you don't.....or do you?

AgnosticBaker · 21/10/2018 21:44

Shit BMW you've ruined the movie for me!

waxy1 · 21/10/2018 21:43

Take a long spoon to sup with a dolphin.

DioneTheDiabolist · 21/10/2018 21:39

But I have a permanent smile on my face and everyone wants to swim with me.
Creepy.Halloween Envy

donquixotedelamancha · 21/10/2018 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

emss55 · 21/10/2018 18:18

But I have a permanent smile on my face and everyone wants to swim with me.

donquixotedelamancha · 21/10/2018 08:05

I am a dolphin and you are talking shit as we are all lovely.

Lovely or not, you don't even have opposable thumbs. Loser.

emss55 · 21/10/2018 00:04

I am a dolphin and you are talking shit as we are all lovely. Now those bloody rainbow fish little bastards them.

ChicagoLil · 15/10/2018 06:44

They chew on puffer fish to release a toxin that gets them high and then they pass the fish around too.

That proves how intelligent dolphins are. The toxin is lethal to humans and can kill unless all the poison is filleted out. It's a highly regarded Japanese knife skill. Dolphins know how much/little to chew without years of training.

DioneTheDiabolist · 15/10/2018 02:40

I read Tank Girl. I know that kangaroos are violent fuckers.Angry

LadyDeadpool · 14/10/2018 23:52

Oooh I have a fact that hasn't been mentioned about dolphins! They get high! They chew on puffer fish to release a toxin that gets them high and then they pass the fish around too. Druggie over sized fish.

Iused2BanOptimist · 14/10/2018 23:37

Didn't get a good punch in first so the kangaroo knew it was boss.
I'd like to see more kangaroos getting a beating like the one in the clip up thread. But don't eat ragôut of roo. Tough and stringy. Envy

FekkoTheLawyer · 14/10/2018 10:12

From today's BBC news

An Australian wildlife carer has suffered a punctured lung as she and her family fought off a savage attack by a kangaroo at their property. 😲

thighofrelief · 11/10/2018 21:06

Why be surprised when the evidence has been staring us in the face for so long.

Dolph Lundgren is in a film called Universal Soldier which is often on terrestrial channels.

Just like the JFK bullet there's no denying it once you put it together like that.

thighofrelief · 11/10/2018 20:16

It's the flirting that's disingenuous really. Like a bunch of handsome, well oiled beach boys winking at your Granny with their eye on her old age pension.

ChicagoLil · 11/10/2018 11:19

I thought A Star Is Born was a dolphin reference. Now I'm really confused.

Lweji · 11/10/2018 07:33

I'm in Lisbon.
I've just watched a recent clip of a group of dolphins swimming in the river.
I need to cross the river. Should I ask for Navy protection?! Shock

BlackBeltInChildWrangling · 11/10/2018 01:56

By the way, OP, that's quite a leap you make from being livid, angry, sick, tired and fuming to asking for reviews of A Star Is Born all in one thread. Just saying.

Not a dolphin in sheep's clothing, by any chance?

BlackBeltInChildWrangling · 11/10/2018 01:36

You know when you really know that you shouldn't do something but do it anyway? Like reading some of this thread? My eyeballs are bleeding. I wish I hadn't, but it's too late now.

I have cancelled the charity card order with the cheery cheeky chappy posterboy robin on them. Sending them could spoil many a Christmas and be perceived as passive aggressive bullying. I've removed the cuddly dolphin from my DC's bed because it was looking at them funny. I know it was a treasured gift from granny, but I now see the evil glint in its eyes. I have cancelled the Direct Debit for the other DC's adopted Panda. I have shut the cat, the dog and the rabbit in the duck house. They can all sort it out amongst themselves.

Thank you OP and posters for enabling me to take this evasive action to protect my family.

Sweet dreams. My eyes will be open all night.

Armchairanarchist · 11/10/2018 00:34

Stuff of nightmares!

AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?
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