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AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?

666 replies

Otherwize · 06/10/2018 23:48

I am angry and sick and tired of how dolphins try and make out they are nice and friendly and cute when they are anything but. They are one of the most aggressive species in the animal kingdom, regularly involved in GANG RAPES of other dolphins that sometimes goes on for days, they also kill their OWN children so that the mother pays more attention to her husband dolphin so he can have sex with her without her being distracted by her child and they also are aggressive to humans when nobody is looking (I.e in the sea when nobody is around, not when they have an audience like at a sea world centre) But everyone says “aww dolphins are so cute and so friendly” but their not.

I think it’s because they look like they are always smiling and laughing that people think they are cute, but to me they look like they have evil eyes and cackling rather than laughing. People say alligators and crocodiles and snakes are evil what about dolphins? People only see the tame ones that like to show off to humans and do tricks and let us swim with them and stroke them and think all dolphins are like that but the ones in the wild are a different matter altogether.

Plus, people say that dolphins are clever because they use clicks to communicate with each other. Has nobody stopped to think that they may be clicking and conspiring amongst themselves?

I’m actually fuming, only because I just got back from someone showing holiday pics and they were going on and on about the dolphins and how they were so cute and I told them dolphins aren’t cute and they are dangerous and would they swim with and pet crocodiles? They Didn’t get why it was the same but any animal can turn against you and I have even saw footage of a dolphin purposely try to drown a human and drag them underwater. AND they also kill other sea baby animals and play volleyball with them, they don’t even eat them or are threatened by them, they just do it for a laugh. Why are they seen as friendly animals?

OP posts:
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Hoardernomore · 07/10/2018 12:10

I watched a video when I was at school about battery farming and it was someone’s job to wank off male turkeys and articially inseminate female ones. I can’t quite remember why...I just remember thinking I’d work hard at school so I never had to become a turkey wanker.

I don’t like dolphins. They have a cute and friendly image but actually they have really hard noses and smell like fish.

KingkillerKvothe · 07/10/2018 12:07

I'm totally with you. They are little bastards.

Moussemoose · 07/10/2018 12:05

And the photo proves conclusively that dolphins are leave voters.

Bastards.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 07/10/2018 12:04

Colin, they're not very good fuckers though (cute or not), that's the problem!

That article about the French dolphin shows a picture of a common dolphin at the top, then bottlenose dolphins later on. They really don't look the same...

blurredspeech · 07/10/2018 11:59

Bloody dolphin patriarchy!

Hoppinggreen · 07/10/2018 11:58

My husband accidentally wanked a dolphin at Discovery Bay in Florida
His lack of dolphin anatomy knowledge and the lack of a sense of irony in Americans got us into trouble when the dolphin handler pointed out his mistake he declared “I’ve paid £200 for this I’ll do what I want with it.”

wombatsears · 07/10/2018 11:58

What about the otters!? They rape baby seals. Furry little twats.

MinaPaws · 07/10/2018 11:56

Otherwize, quite obviously some dolphins are cute and lovely and enjoying swimming with humans and seek out our company. Just as some humans are cute and lovely and seek out dolphin company to swim with. And some humans are gang rapists. Not all dolphins kill their young so the male gets more attention. If they did, there would be no dolphins. Do you hate all humans because some are mean?

donquixotedelamancha · 07/10/2018 11:54

I think the dolphins are closer to power than we think:

Shifty smile, untrustworthy, slimy, sexual predator, speaks in unintelligible noises- remind you of anyone?

AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?
AIBU to be livid how dolphins are portrayed compared to how they are?
MinaPaws · 07/10/2018 11:54

got to respect them for knowing the rules of volleyball, though

Poisondartfrog · 07/10/2018 11:53

Will the PP who said the reason dolphins interact so well with humans is because our skeletons are similar to theirs please come back and tell me how dolphins know this? Are they secretly watching Grays Anatomy? Do they have X ray vision, are they psychic, good guessers? Whichever it is, it’s really disturbing

Otherwize · 07/10/2018 11:51

Hello. I may have gone a little OTT last night but I still stand by it! They are not cute and innocent! I don’t understand why people would willingly swim with them. To all those that are saying animals have no idea of rape or consent so if a cow is going MOO loudly in legitimate distress as she is being raped that is not rape?

I had no idea about ducks and reading the stories on here has truly horrified me. They won’t get bits of bread from me anymore.

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 07/10/2018 11:47

I read about a panda who started showing pregnancy behaviour because it had figured out that it would be put in it's own enclosure and given more food. It's a smart move but just highlights what bastards they are.

I'll bet it had a big plasma TV too, while the hardworking British bears had been on a waiting list for their own enclosure for years. I blame Jeremy Corbyn.

SerenDippitty · 07/10/2018 11:47

*But then this dolphin is trying to rape humans

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/08/27/swimming-banned-french-beach-sexually-frustrated-dolphin-named/*

Seems to me it was doing the equivalent of a dog humping your leg. We don’t think of that as trying to rape us?

Allergictoironing · 07/10/2018 11:45

Even worse than dolphins are Meerkats. Pretend to be cute fluffy little things, have a very photogenic and genial public image helped by endorsing things on TV. In reality they are plotting to take over the world one comparison site by one.

They see if the road is clear by getting the youngsters to cross first (according to Katherine Ryan, this is what mothers do pushing prams across the road in front of them Grin).

sminkypinky · 07/10/2018 11:40

Well, that's enough internet for me today

toomuchtoomuch · 07/10/2018 11:39

Does anyone remeber that Simpson's episode where the dolphins took over the world? they had been acting cute and sweet so that they could conspire against us.Mybe there is something behind this op GrinGrin

Moussemoose · 07/10/2018 11:37

That's all well and good but did the dolphins vote leave or remain?

Armchairanarchist · 07/10/2018 11:34

My childhood is ruined. Flipper you rapey bastard!

BlatheringWuther · 07/10/2018 11:32

It's been obvious for a while that Douglas Adams was in on the big experiment and had to re-direct suspicions about the two most intelligent species. David Icke might be another, but we're too clever for it now.

Look at the not-so-humble moggy - how many of us they've got running around after them. Then you have pandas, who have whole organisations dedicated to them. Cats are the local guards and reporters. Pandas are the ring leaders. They're not fooling me. One day we'll work out how they're communicating.

GenderApostate · 07/10/2018 11:30

Actually, I’ve never been able to see Sea Otters in the same light since Adam Rutherford tweeted that the Males will drown a Female when mating then have sex with the corpse 😱

Oysterbabe · 07/10/2018 11:29

I've just remembered about a documentary you'd enjoy OP. It's called The Cove.
If you like dolphins then definitely, definitely don't watch it.

WaitrosePigeon · 07/10/2018 11:28

Brilliant

recklessruby · 07/10/2018 11:27

I don't have anything against dolphins. They're amazing to watch when we get them in the harbour.
My dd hated loathes and despises squirrels. For no reason. She goes off on a rant if we see one and hopes it gets squashed!
Bloody tufty the squirrel is evil. He was meant to teach 70s/80s kids about road safety. Luring them to their deaths more like. Squirrels are shit at road safety. Grin

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 07/10/2018 11:27

Best rant ever.

I've read quite a few rants on here, but yours is truly outstanding.

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