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Original poster

to want to complain about comments in school newsletter

37 replies

kel4mum · 11/06/2007 16:16

My dp took the kids to school for me last thur, he drives a big purple and pink van. He finally found a place to park, but when doing so he was verbally abused by another driver taking kids to school as she couldnt get pass. My dp who was shocked by the language that came out of her mouth just apologised and moved his van a little futher down so that others could pass safely. Then today when my ds came home from school, as bold as brass was the mention of my dp van in the newsletter. It reads i quote:

Dangerous Driving/Parking
A purple/pink large transit van -
(Reg number)- was parked illegally
and, when pulling away, nearly
knocked down a parent. Please remember all our children's and parents' safety when parking near the school.

I was outraged, why the hell had this woman gone in to the school and tried to shame him with a pack of lies. Dp is fuming and has said that he wont take the kids to school again for me. I really want to complain to the school for printing this as it is total crap. He wasnt parked illegally and he definately didnt nearly knock anyone over. Im i right to be angry esp when there are parents out there that park on zig zags etc

OP posts:
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Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 22:51

Thats ok RL, wish he was dh but thats whole other tread

OP posts:
RosaLuxembourg · 11/06/2007 22:46

Sorry for misnaming your dp Kel4mum - should have paid more attention! I'm glad you've decided to complain - actually maybe you should look on it not as complaining but as giving them the opportunity to improve the way they handle this type of situation!

Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 22:37

Thank you RosaLuxembourg you have put it so nicely. If dp,who i really wish was dh, doesnt complain i will do exactly as you have said. Thank you

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handlemecarefully · 11/06/2007 22:16

Yes complain on his behalf. Damn it this isn't acceptable!!!!

fireflyfairy2 · 11/06/2007 22:14

I agree that you don't want them complaining * bitching if he hasn't done anything wrong, but then if they always name & shame then they haven't picked on your dh specifically.

I would be annoyed if this went as far as his work though.

RosaLuxembourg · 11/06/2007 22:11

It shouldn't be a waste of time if you are clear about the outcome you want from it. If I were your DH it would be two things:

  1. A retraction and apology in the next newsletter. 2)An acknowledgement by the school that this type of accusation has no place in a school newsletter and that they should ensure they have both sides of a story before naming and shaming. If he or you go to the school with these prefectly reasonable requests it is hard to see how they could refuse to agree.
Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 22:06

dp doesnt want to complain now as he feels its a waste of time. Should i complain on his behalf? Ive already had two mums who know us comment on this and i am sure it wont be long before others have their say. I dont want women in the playground bitching about my dp when he has done nothing wrong

OP posts:
RosaLuxembourg · 11/06/2007 21:51

Do a formal letter of complaint with a copy to the chair of governors. It is completely out of order to name and shame without getting your DH's side of the story.

Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 20:13

Bump

OP posts:
Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:58

I do agree with name and shame if you are reoccuring offender and a lot of people have complained about you and the head had spoken to you and you still carried on. But they have taken the word of one parent, who lies to make it sound worse. moo..

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SoupDragon · 11/06/2007 17:40

I fully support naming and shaming in the school newsletter.

But only if they are 100% sure of the facts!

fruittea · 11/06/2007 17:36

It's outrageous. If the school was concerned they should have approached you directly, not put it in the newsletter. It's not news, is it?! DP and the school could have discussed and resolved it without bad feeling.

Knowing the parents at my DC's school, it won't be a PTA parent - it'll be a troublemaker that they're scared of, not someone who does anything positive for the school.

Definitely complain.

prettybird · 11/06/2007 17:35

.. but the carrot dosen't work though, bookmwormmum.

At our school, we've had the head teacher remind people why it is imprtnat in her newsletters, we've had specific letters home about why it isi importnat, we've had parent son "yellow zig zag line" duty, apporaching parents hwo are parking on them and explainginwhy it is worng....

.... the only thng that works is when the local community policeman and/or a traffic warden stands on duty in the vicinity.

Not of which excuse the school for prining hearsay about kel4mum's dp, but you can understand their frusration.

Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:30

We are lucky that one of the parents that witness this incident approached me in the playground to ask if dp was ok. She told me that the woman had regularly complained about drivers. She told me that dp hadnt done anything wrong and there were no parents crossing the road at the time when he moved. She admitted to being nosey in case this woman kicked off at him later. Im glad that she was being nosey cos at least we can say that she witness this and that dp had done nothing wrong.

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bookwormmum · 11/06/2007 17:22

They shouldn't print reg numbers or details of the vehicles - esp as your DH's van sounds quite distinctive. A general reminder to park safely and be aware of small fry/parents milling around would have been much better and an apology should definitely be forthcoming. I've often moaned about the parking at my dd's school (and did mention my concerns on a recent survey) but I'd hate to see my comments in print in the school newsletter as I doubt if it would stop the problem that way. The carrot is much better than the stick IMHO.

prettybird · 11/06/2007 17:22

We just issued the following in our School Board/PTA news letter:
"Parking on Yellow Lines
We would like to remind all parents and carers that the yellow lines outside the school are there to protect your children. Parking on them, even just briefly, endangers your own children and their friends ? and is an offence. Cars that continue to do so will have their number plates recorded and will be reported to the police."

While we have considered "naming and shaming", we would only do it with evidence, ie either witnesses and/or photos - so I can understand why your dp is pissed off.

Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:18

My dc school is always name and shaming parents that park or drive danerously, i dont know if anyone has ever complained

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kslatts · 11/06/2007 17:14

I would complain and ask them to print an apology in the next newsletter.

LIZS · 11/06/2007 17:11

A general comment is fine, after all I doubt your dh has been the only parking "offender" noted rightly or wrongly, but an individualised one based on a single emotive account is out of order. They must know whose it was and could have approached you direct if they felt it was important to raise.

Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:08

I understand fully that they need to remind parent about parking safely. I always find it a nightmare crossing roads near the school and there are always parents parking on the zig zags, but no one has mentioned them.

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BrothelSprouts · 11/06/2007 17:07

How very rude and devisive.
Complain in writing to the Headteacher, and insist that he/she proof reads the newsletter before it is sent out.

Mercy · 11/06/2007 17:07

If the Head doesn't agree to publish an apology then tell your dp to contact the Governing Body.

Good luck.

OrmIrian · 11/06/2007 17:04

I bet the parent who was ranting at him is in the PTA . That's why it got in the newsletter. If he wasn't parked illegally they shouldn't have said anything other than a general comment about needing to park carefully.

I would ask for an apology in the next newsletter.

Original poster
kel4mum · 11/06/2007 17:03

dp has said that he is going in to the school on wed to speak to the head. He is really upset not so much that they printed this statemnet but the fact that they printed his reg number.

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shimmy · 11/06/2007 16:58

sounds like the parent who complained is a bit of a trouble maker judging by the swearing etc. Bet the school know her well and will be ready to believe your side of the story

Write a letter in to school saying how upset you/dp are by the untrue allegations and explain what really happened and then say that the woman's behaviour was aggressive and she used obscene language in front of children.

As the school has seen fit to publish the details of your identifiable van it seems only fair that they retract the complaint or at least publish a statement apologising for upset caused and asking all parents to refrain from aggression and swearing.