To be annoyed when SIL encoraged her DS to pee on my garden?

The weeing bit wouldn't bother me, as all kids do it. But surely it is the role of the parent to discourage weeing in gardens etc, and encourage the use of the toilet!

lol at franny agreeing with everything i say

franny i am a bit concerned by the pooling characteristics of your ds's wee. MY ds's wee doesn't do that, you know...

You know, if this family always ride roughshod over you and don't respect you or your feelings, could this help explain the red mist descended over something that is relatively trivial? Given this background, I can more easily understand your anger at your SIL. Definitely time to get more assertive if your SIL is likely to visit again. This will be one of many things between the children where the issue of ground rules and respect will come up.

A 2 year old weeing in a garden is totally ok by me. It wouldn't worry me in the slightest, though I would be happier if the 2 year old picked a patch slightly away from where were I was sitting. I think the mum could have encouraged him to wee in a corner of the garden. If she let him do it within spraying distance of food or clothing then she was not being very courteous.

I am not surprised she let him do it 3 times as I think for many people it's a pretty acceptable practice for a 2 year old. It's up to you to say something.

Can you tell her you that now you are potty training your dd, you are keen to show her how other children wee in their potties every time, so could her son use a potty not the grass?

Someone encouraged dd1 to pee outside when we were on holiday and then it became a habit - she discovered that she could make a huge curving fountain and thought it was hilarious and then deliberately went outside to pee!! A bit embarrassing beside the apartment swimming pool (shared!!) So it can have consequences!

LOL at 'family wee'

I personally prefer no wee at all from whatever genetic pool

but agree with everything else Filly says

Ds was covered in paint and chalk yesterday and I said that I was just popping inside and he was to stay outside as he was so very colourful.

When I came back outside he had his trousers around his ankles having weed on the cranberry bush.

It's a good reminder that anything I say will be taken literally, and to always wash fruit and veggies before eating them!

At least you don't eat your grass.

It's precedents as well though, isn't it? A bit of child wee isn't the problem - it's all the potential subsequent wees. My dd2 loves weeing in the garden - it's only natural. She doesn't understand why I rush her inside for the potty. (She even managed a small poo the other day when my back was turned). But it IS habit-forming, and it's easier to teach them when they are little.
Plus, if I LET her wee in the garden, then I know that my older dcs would say, "But it's not fair, you let dd2 do it!" and chaos would ensue.

i don't think you should get annoyed because your dn is showing your dd bad habits

thats a very slippery slope. just don't go there. you do need to ride with unfortunate influences on your kids, really, especially if they are cousins.

Haven't read the whole thread, BUT if you have unwanted badgers this is a great idea!!!

Sorry if someone else has already said this!

This did make me giggle, I have to say
But I can understand how annoying that is. Your dd may pick this up and want to water the lawn for you herself! My dd is same age and not picking up potty training very well yet, so I sympathise.

snugglebum I think you are really cross with yourself for not being able to speak up to your SIL in your own house. Next time she comes practice disagreeing with her about something minor, not argueing, just holding your own. You should be in charge in your own garden, if you want something, say so.

My ds and my dh both pee in the garden, it doesnt bother me at all.

If the child was trained enough to hold on then the SIL should have encouraged potty use. It is courtesy given that OP provided a potty.

I dont mind wee on the grass through accidents, or in bushes through lack of alternatives but the OP clealy provided a potty.

Agree with others though, you should have said something the 1st time if you didnt like it.

This is more about respect of other peoples property and house rules isn't it?

I think you should say something. It is your house and you provided a potty. I also think your SIL should have okayed it with you.

I personally have no problem with weeing in certain parts of the garden. DS is 4 and we let him pee on the bases of shrubs in OUR garden which is big and quite wild. At anyone else's house if he went off to do this, I would ask him to use the toilet.

the other thing is, i wouldn't encourage my kids to wee on someone else's garden because people are funny and squeamish but

this is a relative

i dunno, i don't HAVE nephews or nieces but...don't think grandparents would mind

its family wee, doens't that make a difference?

I wouldnt encourage my kids to wee on someone elses garden though.

But it would seep into the soil and you would already be sitting on countless other wees already anyway!

I don't think the wee would bother me. The encouragement would bother me! What's wrong with encouraging the potty/toilet?
There are going to accidents but this is too far imo. I wouldn't encourage ds to wee in anyones garden!

yes, F&Z - much better on the plants than on a lawn being played on. I would actualy have stopped DS doing that when he was tiny.

It wouldn't bother me in the least - but as i know other people wouldn't quite like it i would always have encouraged ds not to wee in other people's gardens.

But....this morning I found ds and dp both weeing in a bucket to put in the compost.

The encouraging bit would annoy me too as it can't have helped with your potty training. I think she should have checked with you that it was OK (your house your rules really). My mother once got my dn to pee out of a window - his mother was not pleased!

For those who are asking why it would bother anyone, I don't like sitting on wee

I wouldn't have a nervous breakdown about it but I would rather not have another child's wee on my clothes, if possible

little boys leave puddles on grass

Some people store it and use for some kind of garden fertiliser and if you do an on line search (only if you have strong stomach) there is quite a cult following behind drinking it - popular in Japan I think.

But I was wondering why one bit of the shrub was looking the worse for wear and we found the reason the other day - it's the place the lazy 8 year old uses.