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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be boggled at my sister expecting me to come to her wedding in the middle of the school year ...

144 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:04

My sister told me on the phone, she's (probably) getting married Jan 26th, next year. Ok, this is lots of notice. But it's in Toronto, and at a bloody stupid time. I'm sick of going to Canada, honestly, and what am I meant to do? Go for the weekend? Leave the kids at home? What?

The whole thing has me annoyed, tbh. I know she can't get married in the summer, when I normally come, I understand that. But easter or autumn would be a lot easier for me.

I just figured she didn't really care about me coming, but she sounded a bit put out when I said I'd have a hard time coming.

She came over for my wedding, true, but I scheduled my wedding to be convenient for everyone attending!

It probably doesn't help that I can't stand her DP ...

OP posts:
Califrau · 08/06/2007 21:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:39

I guess leaving kids at home with DH is easiest option. But I actually don't want to go. I mean, I'd love a few days off from the kids, god knows, but I'd like to do something other than fly interminably to a city I don't like and go to a fucking wedding.

OP posts:
mummytosteven · 08/06/2007 21:39

I'm a bit yeah but no but. On the one hand - it's going to be might inconvenient for you. On the other hand - there is something to be said to arrange stuff as best suits you - as long as she doesn't throw a hissy if you and family don't turn up. I am boggling at a wedding in uber cold weather mind.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:38

My sister and I don't have arguments!

And no, I don't have to go - you presumably would, for your sister, Twiglett.

I already had this argument with DH the first time around, he assumed my family was like his, so I had to go. And I'm anticipating this argument with the in-laws.

OP posts:
maisym · 08/06/2007 21:38

could you go there & back in a few days - kids at home with your dh?

Twiglett · 08/06/2007 21:38

you CAN'T miss your sister's wedding

you have to either take child out of school or go alone

sorry

not-negotiable .. it'll come up with every argument for the rest of your life .. and you don't want that

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:36

I don't think dad would put pressure so he could go with me, but more so we could all be together.

DH was putting pressure on me to go, last time we went through all this (but it got postponed).

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:35

She clearly has no clue I can't stand him. She said on the phone, 'oh, I have to warn you now, you probably won't see much of him while you're over, he's very busy'. In a very 'letting me down gently' sort of way.

OP posts:
juuule · 08/06/2007 21:34

Sorry to hear about your mum. Is there no-one else that your dad would be happy to go with, if he wants to go? Wouldn't bother about pressure from in-laws though.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:34

We're not very close, no, I guess.

I really can't stand her DP.

OP posts:
Waswondering · 08/06/2007 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:29

Yeah, that makes sense.

I think I may hide the fact of this from my in-laws, as they do things Differently, and would put lots of pressure on me to go.

Well, my father might still put pressure on me, in which case I'm fucked, as my mom died last year ...

OP posts:
juuule · 08/06/2007 21:26

Don't go then. What's the problem? Ask her to send you some photos/video. Send a nice gift.

Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:18

I am totally fine with her getting married whenever, I just don't get her expecting me to come at a random time.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotQuiteCockney · 08/06/2007 21:18

My kids will be 6 and 3.

Thing is, I really don't like flying. I don't like travelling. It will be minus fucking everything there, and going for a week means we get two weeks of being jetlagged and no pleasantness at all.

I don't know. Maybe I'll go on my own? It's not really very feasible, though, tbh.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 08/06/2007 21:10

Week away without the dc! Go for it!

Mrscarrot · 08/06/2007 21:09

I had my wedding on a Wednesday and gave everyone three weeks notice.

Extremely inconsiderate.

That's when we wanted it though, wouldn't have been offended if people couldn't make it, although come to think of it, it was my sister who was most annoyed.

BrothelSprouts · 08/06/2007 21:05

How old are your DCs?

happybiggirl · 08/06/2007 21:04

Message withdrawn