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Original poster

To hate the town in which I live?

185 replies

CuckooLuckoo · 14/08/2018 16:13

I've name changed as it might make me identifiable .

I live in quite a rough town in an area of the UK that is commonly thought of and joked about as being full of unintelligent, inbred people. I absolutely hate it here.

I grew up in a really lovely place with friendly people and then when I was 15 my parents decided to move to this area because of my father's work. I started at school here and absolutely hated it. I ended up leaving school at 16 and getting a job and for some reason just never moved away. DH is not from here but also moved here as a child like I did.

Reasons I hate it here:

Its very very rough. Especially the town centre. It's like being on the Jeremy Kyle show when you walk through town.

People who are from the area are extremely rude and unfriendly. You are not considered a local unless you are someone's cousin and someone has known you since birth. If you chat to someone, for example, who is serving you in a shop, they look at you like you're absolute crap. Every single friend that I have is not from the area originally.

There is nothing to do here at all; if it's a rainy day the only place to take kids is a smelly, dirty soft play place that has drug addicts in the door way. We have no decent shopping centre, no decent cinema, no ice skating/roller skating/trampolining places for kids, no decent restaurants or pubs (stabbing is a problem in pubs here it seems). There is literally nothing to do!

The general 'rough-ness' of the area worries me for my DC growing up.

It's in the middle of nowhere! You can't just pop to another town for the day without driving for an hour!

I really want to move away from the area but DH won't. We both have businesses, mine I could run from anywhere but DH's is more local. We do have a really nice house in a nice village on the outskirts of the town, but this doesn't override all of the negatives of the town for me. DH hates it here and hates the local people too but won't move.

I actually feel constantly down and depressed living here. If we go out for the day away from the town and to another area I perk up a lot and feel so much happier.

AIBU to hate where I live? Is anyone else in the same position?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 14/08/2018 23:51

Norwich is great (as are some of the seaside places like Cromer obviously)

hmmwhatatodo · 14/08/2018 23:47

Crossing Norfolk off my places to visit list. I thought it was all windmills and maybe narrow boats. Is Norwich ok?

LaurieFairyCake · 14/08/2018 23:36

Oh it’s so awful there. 13 years ago Dh and I nearly moved there (it’s cheap and had a gorgeous Georgian house we went to look at)

On our only day there a bloke was beating up this woman in the middle of the town and no one was doing anything Shock Dh and I ran over, Dh chased him off and I called an ambulance and stayed with her - she was quite badly hurt.

We were literally there 2 hours and have never gone back since. In all our trips around the cheaper areas of Britain to live that was by far the worst.

I stayed 18 years in a place I disliked - please don’t do that. Never regretted leaving and really mourn the years I spent there.

apriljune12 · 14/08/2018 23:29

Never been to Norfolk snd thanks op now wont bother :) just think of those turkey rolls they used to sell in the 80s. Bernard Matthews???

God move you only have one life .

MorningsEleven · 14/08/2018 23:21

@Wishiwasa

Barrow sixth form? Oh my life! I got lucky and went to Ulverston 6th form. We're in Edinburgh now - more than 3 surnames, it's total cosmopolitan!

LunaLovegoodsRadishes · 14/08/2018 17:30

I grew up near Daventry, and moved to London at 19. I didn't like Daventry, still don't, because there is nothing to do there. My family drive for miles to Northampton and Rugby just to watch a film! I have loved London, but am now considering a move to East Sussex for a quieter life and better value housing.

If you have a car, go on a road trip and do some research. Look up the nicer areas you have seen on the internet and find out if you can afford to live in those places.

Wishiwasa · 14/08/2018 17:18

MorningsEleven, where do you live now?

Wishiwasa · 14/08/2018 17:17

I live in Northampton. Would prefer Norfolk to that! Laughed out loud at teenage years in Barrow-in-Furness as I went to sixth form there... You have my sympathy!!!

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 14/08/2018 17:15

*a move closer to NORWICH.

TheBitchOfTheVicar · 14/08/2018 17:15

Well, the accent stuff just sounds like you are completely ground down and looking for everything to hate, tbh.

I am an outsider to Norfolk and have found people extremely friendly - I second pp who said could you consider a move closer to Norfolk.

It looks like you are only getting pp in here who agree with you - there are plenty, like me, who don't.

Alternatively, would you you consider moving more rurally? Some beautiful coastal villages not too far away from KL. Though this can be expensive, and less access to amenities.

Sound like you need a come-to-Jesus with your DH, since you feel so strongly.

saganorenscarandcoat · 14/08/2018 17:06

I guessed Norfolk too. Went to Kings Lynn once and didn't bother even getting out the car.

Panicmode1 · 14/08/2018 17:03

If you dislike where you live, it's an awful feeling and is so wearing. We moved out of London to a part of Surrey that I just NEVER felt happy in, didn't meet any kindred spirits (bar one couple who left as fast as we did!) and although when we moved there, we thought it would be our 'forever move', we decided to cut our losses and move after only 2 years. I am now SO much happier where we live. You only have one life -if you have a chance to make it happier, do it!!

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 14/08/2018 17:01

If you husband doesn't want to move his work could you move closer to nicer places like Norwich or Cambridge? Would mean that he has more of a commute but could be a compromise.

Thomasinaa · 14/08/2018 16:56

Could your DH commute from Norwich,?

MorningsEleven · 14/08/2018 16:51

I know things are bad but I had to spend my teenage years in Barrow-in-Furness! If you've never been, it's in the dictionary entry for shit.

Move, you'll never regret it.

Itsear · 14/08/2018 16:48

How about somewhere like Peterborough? There is more to do and the commute is doable.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 14/08/2018 16:47

I guessed Norfolk from the op. I'm in Essex leave my Essex accent alone

Norfolk is very close knit.

Sweetpea55 · 14/08/2018 16:46

Move to Northumberland,,The people are friendly,,there are lots of nice small towns and villages,,,and the accent is easy going

sacredgeometry · 14/08/2018 16:45

Oh and ive been to Kings Lynn - yep its a shithole !

sacredgeometry · 14/08/2018 16:44

Sounds like the town im from in Kent. Small minded louts ! Scotland is now my last frontier of niceness. Lived here 20 years and absolutely love it.

I live in a town of 4000 people

30 mins from an airport that takes you to London, Dublin, Amsterdam and from there the rest of the world...

10 minutes from a skating rink, cinema, shopping centre

5 minutes from 1/2 a million acres of pine forest

5 minutes from miles of golden sand beaches / rocky coves

10 minutes from white water rafting.

The UK is a diverse place. Its worth considering moving.

Original poster
CuckooLuckoo · 14/08/2018 16:44

Crypto, I'm glad you were able to get away from the town! It's an awful place isn't it! Hope you're living somewhere a lot nicer, with much nicer people now.

OP posts:
Tara336 · 14/08/2018 16:43

I don’t like where I live either. The house is lovely, the areas not terrible but same as you town nearby is awful in my opinion. We don5 live here through choice my DP is from this area and has a business which gives us a nice life. The minute he can sell up/ retire we will up sticks and move back to my home county which we both prefer. I can completely understand how your feeling, my answer is to avoid the areas nearby that I don’t like and pretend they don’t exist 😊. Maybe if you could just move a little further away it might help? If you found somewhere you liked could you househunt a little then show your husband the perfect property you’ve found? It may encourage him if he doesn’t have to put in to much effort personally

CryptoFascist · 14/08/2018 16:43

I knew it would be Norfolk too. I had the misfortune to grow up there and whenever I make the trip back I'm shocked at how down at heel everything seems compared to where I live now. If I'm right about the town you're living in, I also lived there and it was just as you describe. I'd highly recommend you see about moving, I know it's a whole lot of stress but it's your lifestyle and contentment that's important, you only get a short time on this planet.

keepingbees · 14/08/2018 16:41

I knew you were going to say Norfolk too. I have experience of it there too. It's beautiful but generally they don't like 'outsiders'.

My advice, move away. If your DH cares for your wellbeing he will understand your need to get away. Life's too short to be so miserable.

Kingkiller · 14/08/2018 16:39

Sounds utterly grim. Is your dh not bothered by the fact that your dc are growing up in such a bad area solely due to his choosing?

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