To hate the town in which I live?

Oh ffs didn’t realise it was a zombie thread

I grew up in a similar town. Ex-industrial, very depressing. Both my parents were from other, nicer parts of the country but moved to my home town for work, met at work, got married and had me & DB. They always hated it and slagged it off all the time but stayed for me and DB I think, so as not to disrupt our schooling. DB ended up moving to a private school anyway because our local comp was so horrible - they offered me to go too but I was halfway through my GCSEs and didn’t want all that time to go to waste. I sometimes wish I had, as I was bullied at school for being bright and ambitious - I didn’t want to go drinking & smoking at the park therefore I was stuck up and thought I was better than everyone else. Ummm yes I did because yes I was/am!
It is grim. But it did make me work my arse off at school so that I could get into a good Uni and get the fuck out of there.
Most people I went to school with are still there. Even the ones who I knew from primary school were quite bright and could have gone on to do something with their lives, which is so sad. I knew I wanted more for myself and for my future children.
I wouldn’t hesitate to move, OP. Think about when your children go to school, and what you want for them.

Zombie thread.

Why dredge this up from nowhere fiveofus?

Oh sorry, didn’t realise this was a zombie 🧟‍♀️

Yanbu. I used to live in a nearby county to Norfolk. Bits of rural Norfolk are lovely but a lot of the towns are desperate and Kings Lynn particularly bad.

I don’t know what you can do if your husband is being stubborn, but I wouldn’t want to raise children there either!

Oh, it's not the worst accent. Try Essex. Or Birmingham?

Eh? Bit unnecessary

I was born and grew up in Norfolk, mainly around the coast and I went to KL to do my A levels. This was many moons ago so I guess the place must have changed because it certainly wasn't that bad when I lived there. My sister and father still live in Norwich. I'd love to move back as I now live in Nottingham in an area which makes even KL look like paradise. I never felt like killing my neighbours when I lived in Norfolk at least. It's beyond horrible here. Yesterday the local drug dealer had a blazing screaming row with 'clients' in the street, the local kids broke shit and played with flytipping. There are rats that play in the street in daylight as they're not scared of people. Everything smells, the flies are unbearable, the people are vile and disgusting and most of them are quite as inbred as anything you'll find in the wilds of Norfolk.

A lady from the council came round a while back with a survey and asked what could be done to improve the area. I told her that they need to bomb it, flatten it, that's about the only thing that can be done now. I cannot wait to get out. I'd love to go back to my hometown in Norfolk but the prices are now so high we can't afford it. We are hopefully as soon as things straighten out going to move abroad. But I look back on my childhood in a tiny Norfolk village and think how nice it was, I only wish I could provide the same for DS.

Ooh, a local thread, I'm a newcomer to one of the Norfolk small towns mentioned upthread. Norfolk is very pretty and many people are friendly if you are white and not obviously gay. Norwich is an island of civilisation but of course there are pockets of decency throughout the county. But as a tory hating, pro EU individual I'm a lot happier in Norwich than my own town. The county feels inward looking as a whole. OP - MOVE if you're not happy, investigate other areas that your OH could commute in from.

@CheshireChat No, it's not just you! I'm stuck in Hull because of the PILs and it's shite. Yes, there are some nice people but on the whole, they're a bunch of uneducated Brexiteers who voted 'leave' because they thought the brown people would be sent back to where they came from.

Funny to read so many negative comments about Kings Lynn from 2018, when in 2017 the town had ranked 6th in the top 10 list of the annual "happy at home" index compiled by Rightmove, of the happiest places to live.

Some places are such that for many people they do not really live there in the true sense of the word, they exist or survive.

We live in Hull and would definitely like to move, there's some good bits, but realistically all the outsiders I've spoken with said they aren't quite accepted ever. I've spent the last couple of years feeling like a leper at times and wondering if it's just me!

Also the city centre is dead, dead, dead after 5.

As others have said you need to have a serious discussion with your husband - I'm assuming you have other nearby areas in mind to entice him with?

I'm afraid there are many such grim towns in the UK and it must be awful to have to live in these places with no chance of escape! You're in a better position than many on here, at least you have a nice home and a business so I hope you don't feel too despondent day to day. But you really mustn't fester there if it makes you so unhappy and if you have the means to do something about it.

Having grown up near Dereham (in a nice little place) and then purchased our first house in the heart of Dereham....please, do not leave KL for Dereham. We moved away from Dereham to just outside Norwich a few years back, but I still get depressed whenever I have to drive through Dereham. It's mainly some of the people, not the actual town itself. Jeremy Kyle could easily film an episode there. Does have a really good Tesco though

Yes, the more you move into Norfolk the stronger the accent gets. Have your DC got any cousins in the area? I am sure they will be very happy! Good luck in the future.

Thing is, you can live anywhere and hate it. I am happy in a place most people think is a shithole; you can be miserable in the 'best' of places. If you hate it that much then your husband needs to listen to how miserable you are.

I'd echo the comment that the hatred towards the Norfolk accent (which isn't that bad) speaks volumes about your state of mind and a move Norwich way (great as it is) wouldn't perhaps be the answer.

If you’re determined to go do so before your children get ‘settled’. Having experienced similar issues I just laughed when a colleague invited everyone to her wedding except for any incomers that hadn’t lived in the town for decades! Her husband to be had already cheated despite already being from the family - very grim.

I understand. I'm from somewhere like that. I did move away and I can't even think about my hometown without feeling depressed. Actually I can't go to any tired seaside town without feeling profoundly miserable.

Can you ask your DH if he might trial living elsewhere and see if you can make it work? You could rent yours and rent something else. He might realise that he can do his job from a different town and likes living somewhere less shit.
I understand your feelings and think you
Should press your D.H. to try another place

Is it really in the same league of grimness as places like Stoke, Grimsby, Mansfield or my personal nomination for ‘worst shithole in England’, Skegness?
I have fond memories of tatty trips to Skegness as a kid . But it is a dump. One year we go to go to Butlins and we were super excited.

I still think Grimsby would be more on my 'shit places to live' list than Skegness (But Skeggy is pretty dire).

interesting thread ... I dither about this alot ... would love to have the £ to "choose" somewhere to live, and then if it didn't work out "choose" somewhere different again ...

i am a little bit surprised re. norfolk. I thought "Norwich was the new Brighton".

Like another poster I live somewhere (in the SW) where its either posh or drug addict Jeremy Kyle city, no in-between. It really feels like drugs are a big part of the problem, but not the only one. People look ill and ravaged. The irony is I am actually ill - but you probably wouldn't know it to look at me as I haven't got the broken/ravaged/drug-addled look.

I live on the "dark side of town" and often do find it depressing. however, the other day I thought also - all human life is here and to engage with it/embrace it! be as friendly as i want (or not), at least whilst I'm here ....

that said, if you have a choice, you can just move, i really would if i were you. your DH can always start a business elsewhere.

I knew it from your description! I grew up there too, actually Wisbech which I would consider worse than KL, for the love of God move! Downham Market is better if you can't go far, Norwich is a different world away, move there! I've lived north for about five years now and the quality of life is so much better. I would like to move back to Norfolk but it would be Norwich/coast or nothing!

OP,A lot of the things you describe could apply to my local town (apart from the having to drive for an hour to get to any other major towns). When I first moved here 36 years ago,it wasn't at all bad,but it has gradually gone downhill over the years. And I totally get what you mean about feeling like you're on the Jeremy Kyle show when you walk through the town centre!

www.edp24.co.uk/news/dereham-article-worst-places-to-live-uk-1-5655494

Seems like you should also steer clear of Dereham contray to some mumnetters advice....

We lived in a small Norfolk town in the 1990s and it was parochial and tight knit to say the very least. We would get stared at when we went to the pub and several times in independent shops, locals behind us in the queue used to get served first. It felt like an episode of the League of Gentlemen!

Fortunately, we were close enough to Norwich to go there often and it is much more diverse and interesting.

I would consider moving to Swaffham or even Dereham where you will be closer to Norwich and away from the KL culture. North Norfolk is beautiful but expensive and transport isn't great. It can also be a bit quiet in the winter.

Can your DH move his business base away from KL? Look for more clients in the Dereham/Swaffham areas?

You need to identify where you want to move to, if you have a location in mind and can present all the positives of that place to discuss it with your DH. You must have somewhere in mind.