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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be furious that DP and DS got driven out of a baby changing room by a group of rude obnoxious women?

88 replies

bewilderbeast · 02/06/2007 16:32

Just spoken to DP he had taken DH into town for the day to buy me a birthday present and let me get on with the DIY at home in peace. He took DS into the boots baby changing room (note baby changing room not mother and baby room). There was a queue for the three changing mats. Apparently they were all having a laugh and chat when he walked in but went silent as soon as they saw him and kept staring unkindly at him and ds. Eventually he said "come on ds we're obviously not welcome here" and left to take ds somewhere else to change him. I am fking furious. why can't people accept that its nice that fathers take an active roll in their kids lives rather than being suspicious of their motives. I am so angry right now. Do we need dad and baby changing rooms and mother and baby changing rooms? Why can't we all just get on and accept other people. It was their first trip out together alone and I am so sad for him that he was made to feel like this and his day was spoilt by these nasty bit*hes. sorry its a bit of a long rant

OP posts:
beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:30

Perhaps he's building up his back story for why changing will be your responsibility from now on

TnOgu · 03/06/2007 15:30

I need to get my mammy on here

She could have her own section

Quootiepie · 03/06/2007 15:29

pants, must preview.

misdee · 03/06/2007 15:28

in all liklihood, your dp walked in and interrupted a conversation slagging men off or about mooncups between a group of women who knew each other.

dh changed laods of nappies with dd1+2, not with dd3 though, so unless baby changing changed betwteen 2002-2005, i honestly dont get this.

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:28

lol at sock-minded individuals...

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:28

why would a group of women glare at him, unkownrebel? seriously? or are you going along with the sock-minded individuals line of thinking?

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:27

God yes. You have to build him up. Get in there DH! Strike a blow for fathers. Don't let the coven win.

etc.

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:27

lol, goodness. it seems that they thought he was a paedophile... can't you all see how unlikely that is? a dad with a baby = a child rapist? is that what springs to your minds?

Original poster
bewilderbeast · 03/06/2007 15:27

actually aitch I haven;t said anything to him exactly for that reason. He is an extremely good and very involved dad. I vented my frustration on here instead, like we all do sometimes!

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:26

Aitch, I can imagine him feeling uncomfortable, thinking the women were glaring at him.

I can also imagine a group of women making him feel uncomfortable, by glaring at him.

I don't know, I wasn't there, but I can imagine both scenarios.

Quootiepie · 03/06/2007 15:25

your poor DP, how people can be some judgemental is beyond me. You can't win really, god knows how men decide whether to take a girl to the loo in the womens, or into the mens, just for fear of sick minded individuals. Same with male nursery nurses and childminders, they always have to prove themselves and offer explaination.

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:25

but you don't exactly have a 'local' changing bog, do you? anyway, i'm with you tnog, i think he's imagined most of it because he wasn't feeling confident in the first place. and if we're right, bewilder, then you spouting off and being angry isn't likely to encourage him to do it again, which is Not What You Want.

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:24

Actually, I do feel a bit like this when I go into our local hardware shop. Although they don't glower, they look at me like I'm the entertainment and wait for me to say something daft...

Of course, it may all be in my head

TnOgu · 03/06/2007 15:23

As my mother says, 'people are too interested in themselves to be minding you'

TnOgu · 03/06/2007 15:22

It sounds like our local bar when a stranger arrives.

Perhaps he imagined the intensisty of the situation as it as something he had not done before and felt a little uncomfortable in himself doing it.

I don't know, but hopefully the next time he does it will be an easier experience.

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:20

unknownrebel, i can well imagine a man feeling that a group of women was staring at him (although was glowering the word?) but that needn't make it actually true and doesn't make the women 'bitches'. so how many women were in there, bewilderbeast? i'd thought you'd meant three but even more makes it less likely. most changing rooms i'm in people are mostly trying to catch their toddlers, not gang up on blokes.

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:20

Not really?

Perhaps if they all knew each other...

Do I just live in a very enlightened area?

DH always used to change our children if we were out together. I used to tell him he was 'striking a blow'. I don't think he was actually fooled, but he likes doing the over-demonstrative dad bit, so everyone's a winner.

hercules1 · 03/06/2007 15:20

I'm with aitch on this one.

Original poster
bewilderbeast · 03/06/2007 15:17

So he says becky and he isn't the sort of man who lies or exaggerates.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 03/06/2007 15:16

I can well imagine a group of women standing staring at a man in a baby changing room, and making him feel uncomfortable, be it for 30 seconds or 5 minutes.

beckybrastraps · 03/06/2007 15:14

The whole queue was involved in a laugh and a chat, stopped when your dh joined the queue and then glowered silently at him?

Aitch · 03/06/2007 15:10

Nineunlikelytales, that is bitchy of you what an utterly ridiculous thing to say.

but bewilderbeast, if there were lots of people there then i frankly find it even less likely that he was 'driven out', tbh.
he may have felt unwelcome (why i don't really know, i've never felt 'welcomed' or 'unwelcomed' in a public lav or changing station) but that's not the same as being 'driven out'.
you are being totally unresonable, i think, tbh, in being angry. it's utterly pointless in any event. you could feel sympathetic that dh had a weird time (possibly more in his head than in reality) but i completely doubt that it happened the way he said as the story doesn't really make much sense.

Rachmumoftwo · 03/06/2007 14:45

I could mean probably they were jealous!

Rachmumoftwo · 03/06/2007 14:44

Porbably they were lealous becasue their OHs don't take their children out, or if they do, maybe they don't change them. I do feel that everything is geared towards mothers and babies, and it is an old fashioned outdated practice. My DH noticed that in our local mothercare the changing facilities were in the ladies! Not very supportive of supportive fathers imo.

ludaloo · 03/06/2007 14:41

how rude!!! Poor dh