to expect that my DP can get on with his work in clients house, without having to put up with their children

I hope I haven't put that badly and implied that I think either of you live in a school or hospital because of SN issues. [clumsy wording emoticon]

I think thats the difference though isn't it Gess and Peachy. Its completely responsible to be very clear about your situation so that anybody working in your house can make plans/agree that they can't cope with the job. In the same way somebody going to do repair work in a school during term time or a hospital knows that they can work within a certain environment or they don't take the job. Most people working in the building industry have to be flexible and adapt to different circumstances.

I think thats a benefit of being a student LOL! And of Dh working nights- at least he's home in the day to do a lot. A lot, though, just doesn't get done.

I'd like to do more ourseleves but its impossible- both work evenings, and you really can't do anything with ds1 around, so it means someone would have to to take him out and the other one would have to paint + look atfer the other 2.

She's supposed to be getting a conservastory but we came back to 8 foot of brieze blocks mainly on our side, so it'll have to go through alndlords and possible be torn down again, which is why it'll take so long- she's been challenging the 200 year old boundaries since she moved in a year or so ago and ust waited until we were away.

As a rule there's very little we don't do ourseves, even the landlord gets let off as we prefer to paint etc to our schedules.

nightmare peachy..... We had some great garden fence repairers when ours blew down. Did stick to the timings and made it extra tall and sturdy.

Anyone is welcome to turn down a job in my house, no problem- its up to them, but if they accept one then they have to work around ds1 and that means no work going on when he's home. I can't physically restrain him from going near the tools, nor can I keep him off the roof if power tools have to be plugged in via an open door. This is always explained and it drives me insane when ignored- as it's muggins here who has to try and wrestle him to the ground/stop him beating his head on the wall and gets attacked and gets left with the scratches and bruises. Meanwhile 2 year old ds3 is left completely to his own devices (or has to be looked after by 5 year old ds2) which is not remotely appropriate.

I don't know how I could make it any clearer to people though as they so often ignore it. I know they have other jobs to get to, I know they want to finish mine asap, which is why I tell them at the time of the quotation.

No I know what the OP said thats why I specified my terms- that I meant the occasional question. I cant just clear out (similar situation to gess) so anyone who works here does have to understand that- I do try and explain it to peole before they come, and also warn them that they will be stared at by ds1 but he means nothing by it, and that we cant ahve doors left open even for a minute as ds3 bolts. Its not that I diont supervise them- I do- but we all get distracted and ahve to take the occasional loo trip etc.

If it were a one off job DH would probably take a day off so I could go somewhere (we need one adult per ds1 and ds3 to get out), but longer jobs have to be on our terms. Its not something we choose (and I do get the other perspective- Dad is a builder and DH qualified as a spray and going back to it sometime), but I just cant be flexible.

Let him go and have someone else pick up the pieces, that you can vet in advance. I don't think the OP was talking about the odd question, but about lack of supervision and having the child be in an unsafe, dangerous situation.

If your DP works from home ocasionally, he might put up with the odd interruption from his laptop, canvas/question marking/whatever (bearing in mind they are his children too), but I doubt he'd expect them to be all over him if his livelihood was working from home. What would you expect then? Have the laptop on the top shelf of the bookcase so your kids can't reach it and have him sit down to stories with them instead?

Gess I getcha. Woman next doro was specifically asked not to have the builders in over half term- so what did she do? Ther's now glass over the garden, no fences, abandoned building equipment and will be until autumn which absically leaves us gardenless. I use the garden as a time out zone for ds1 (its usually 6 foot high fences) and now we dont ahve that.

It is up to the parents to keep their kids safe and away BUT as long as the workman is in my house he's in my employ surely? So shouldn't mind the occasional distraction / kid asking questions. If he cant handle that, I'd have to let him go.

I see what you're saying. DH prefers working 9-5, in fact he charges more for working out of these hours as they are his family time.

well it is because I have a severely autistic child and I cannot take all 3 children out- it's absolutely impossible (and there is no out of school care for ds1) so I tell them very clearly when they come to give me a quote that they can only work on school days between 9 and 3.30. Unfortunately ime many think that's it's OK to run over or come in school holidays- when it's just not. I really do make it very clear. The window guy really should have realised as he came to measure during a school holiday (not my choice he's fixing a cock up by another company and they sent him) and the difficulty we had getting it safe for him to open the window and measure should have made it obvious that fitting a window with ds1 around just was not going to happen.

I do explain the situation very very clearly, but they often try to ignore it and then wonder why I have ds1 screaming and headbanging to get out on the roof terrace, or him trying to shove them out of the door. It's a bloody nightmare. I have learned to tell them at 3.20 that they need to stop within 10 minutes.

Much easier though to employ someone in the same situation so that is the new tack.

what are you like?

Gess - turning up unexpected is a stupid thing to do. But I don't think saying "you can't work while the children are here" and NOT taking the children away is the worker's problem.

I wish that workmen would understand that when I say "you cannot do any work whilst ds1 is here" that they would understand that I mean just that. Someone turned up announced to change an upstairs window on Friday - half term- ds1 was around- FGS (I sent him home again).

I've given up and this time (to decorate the front room) have employed someone who has a severely autistic son himself so understands that when I say that I really mean it (and anyway he has to go home to meet his son from the school bus the same time as I have to get mine from the school bus).

Not unreasonable at all. I think my DH expects to have the tools within his reach and at a distance convenient & safe to him, not to be childminding for someone else. He is also surprised at how little supervision some children get. He sometimes quotes for the job, in which case he wants to finish quickly. Sometimes he quotes by the hour but he's got other jobs waiting for him, so still doesn't want to be wasting time looking after toddlers.

lucyellensmum....gotta use your wares to bribe the dh into doing the work that you want. My dh is (well actually was, he's now a full time student) a builder. I have all sorts of lovely things bult by him all over the house. I suppose it helps that I am an architect, so can usually see through the first 3 excuses and then witholding of sex and food coupled with much nagging eliminate the rest. Real trick is to find friends with dh's who are also in the building trade, but different skills than your dh and get into trading scheme involving husband's skills without husband's say-so.

My daughter is very intrigued by builders/glazers/plumbers and anyone else who can feasibly have power tools in their workbag. I have clear rules. She can watch, she is told to be quiet, and I impose a boundary beyond which she cannot pass. She's often content to just sit and watch with the odd observations/.question. I think she still wants to be a plumber at some point though, as our plumber is female and the spawn thought that was the best thing ever. I always apologise for her inquisitiveness, and have never had a rude response, with most of the people we've had through the house thinking it's good that there are still some kids out there interested in making mess

Agnes

Lucy,am sure you are a fab Mum.We all have bad days.Please do not be

Someone criticised me for using the above phrase the other day but I stick by my guns!!!

PS what does your dp do?Mine is a joiner and am still waiting for him to fit the skirting board for ooooh the last six years he he

Our house is too small to consider staying around when work is being done. We had a really annoying plumber who arrived early (8 rather than 8.30), started unpacking his tools in the bathroom and then told me patronisingly to keep the baby away when I was trying to get everything together to leave. I legged it, but forgot to open the babygate to the kitchen. He couldn't work out how to open it and was very cross.

However, we had a lovely tiler who left the bathroom immaculate every night and thanked me for keeping out of his way when he was working.

Anyway, re: the OP, I am incredulous at the idea of being in a big enough house to be able to consider doing that. Wow.

Oh god, both my DSes are (and have always been) mad for builders. We had big building works going on next door for ages, and DS2 learned the head builders name before he learned DS1's name .

To be fair, though, the head builder was really good with him (he used to be a primary school teacher, apparently), but I did limit DS2's time with him, so he could actually get stuff done.

DP frequently doe guvvy jobs for people and says it is quite entertaining with kids around,especially as they think he is Bob,and he has to pretend that Wendy has nipped out and that Scoop is outside

Can be a bit difficult to keep ALL tools out the way as he has many different saws/drills and whatnot.Obviously when not in use they are unplugged.

Would not leave my small ones near them.

He works for lots of people middle class and working class.Said that there was a great diversity of parent supervision regardless of class.

Tis a joiners lot.....