Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be upset if your DH forgot your birthday?

63 replies

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/05/2007 09:52

Because I am, and I am annoyed at myself for getting upset. I wish I could just shrug it off, but it has made me feel unappreciated.

OP posts:
Nightynight · 30/05/2007 11:39

"anything less than that indicates an uncaring attitude???"

GrumpyOldHorsewoman, I feel you need the classic MN advice here - definitely divorce him!!

Nightynight · 30/05/2007 11:37

you are being had, then!

MrsWeasley · 30/05/2007 11:37

bet he was hiding the fact that he has got you a truely amazing surprise planned.

Original poster
GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/05/2007 11:36

Now, when it's my DH's birthday I am expected to provide nice gift, special meal (in or out) and notify the trade paper so it goes into their birthday greetings section. ANything less than that indicates an uncaring attitude on my part. This year, I organised a family dinner for him.....with his family in Ireland. I booked the flights, organised the meal at a hotel and had a cake made. PLUS he got a gift to unwrap from both me and the DDs. It was his fortieth, but that's the level to which I am expected to perform.

I require no such nonsense - just to remember it and wish me happy birthday.

OP posts:
Nightynight · 30/05/2007 11:34

I think it is customary among some people. I grew up in Britain too, and adults in my family didnt make a big fuss.
I wouldnt care either way myself.

beckybrastraps · 30/05/2007 11:34

I would be upset. But I can't see how it could possibly happen. I mean, we plan birthdays. The bit about not telling him bacause that would 'defeat the object' sounds a bit like a test, and I really thing that if you start setting tests you are going to end up disappointed. Of course he should have remembered. It is shameful that he didn't, but you would probably have had a better day if you had reminded him.

Stigaloid · 30/05/2007 11:32

Happy Birthday

YANBU - I'd be very upset and i would talk to him about it. Try and speak to him in a clam moment and let him know how unappreciated you feel and how hurt you are by his actions.

KerryMum · 30/05/2007 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KerryMum · 30/05/2007 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/05/2007 11:30

I didn't say I wanted cakes, parties and presents, just a simple 'Happy Birthday' would have sufficed. He is my DH after all, not some distant work colleague

OP posts:
Ceolas · 30/05/2007 11:29

Yes I'd be very upset.

admylin · 30/05/2007 11:28

We don't do birthdays, grew out of them in my teens or at the latest when I turned 18!

Nightynight · 30/05/2007 11:26

oh dear I am going to be controversial...

why on earth do you, a grown woman, expect someone to remember what day you were born? And reward you with presents and cakes etc?

[puts tin hat on]

Original poster
GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 30/05/2007 11:22

No, he definitely forgot.

I hadn't mentioned anything because that defeats the object - I don't want to crow "It's my birthday! It's my birthday!" Because then it only matters to him because I told him it matters. I am annoyed at myself because he constantly disappoints me, breaking promises and blowing me out in favour of work, and it caught me by surprise that this upset me. He only noticed because he was standing behind me at the computer when I logged on to the online admin and a banner came along the top saying 'Happy Birthday'. He stood there and said "whose birthday is it?" It took him a while to twig....

The main disappointment comes from the fact that if I didn't do something really special for his birthday or buy him a great present he would sulk like a 2 year old. He didn't even remember mine!

OP posts:
Carmenere · 30/05/2007 10:44

I'd kill him.

Furrymummy · 30/05/2007 10:43

Happy Birthday to you
Your DH is a Poo
He had better
Have a (grovelling) letter
And a big present too.

Git!!!!

purpleduck · 30/05/2007 10:40

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I would be very hurt and furious. Has he ever forgotten before?

VioletBaudelaire · 30/05/2007 10:27

Happy birthday!
It might be a double bluff - watch out for couriers or ribbon-wrapped vehicles heading your way.

yaddayah · 30/05/2007 10:19

Upset.. errrr yes just a bit x a zillion

Wishing you a very happy birthday

I'm sure he'll be appalled he's forgotten

glamourbadger · 30/05/2007 10:15

Happy Birthday for yesterday Horsewoman! Go and use his credit card to buy yourself something nice .

meowmix · 30/05/2007 10:08

oh and Happy Birthday. You don't look a minute older.

Sixer · 30/05/2007 10:08

Happy Birthday.
Any chance you can call him at work, ask if he has any plans for today/this evening? if not book yourself in for a right ole pamper sesson, facial, massage the works. then maybe drinks with some friends.
Whatever you decide have a lovely day.

meowmix · 30/05/2007 10:07

nope. Gave up a long time ago on that because he forgets birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, mothers days but makes up for it at Christmas.

But if he usually remembers then yes I'd be pretty upset and would have said something pointed by now.

hana · 30/05/2007 10:06

yes

Blackduck · 30/05/2007 10:04

YES! Birthdays are YOUR special day IMO, and so to have someone 'forget' is unforgivable.....