Why are some families so loud!!

Was feeling sorry for the OP until I got to the comment yesterday about them being pasty and fat. Horrible way to speak about children.
I hope they’re all having a great time on their noisy fun holiday, and laughing about the cranky lady sharing their pool and how miserable she is.

Why are Brit's so obsessed with quietness?

Look at childless 's 20:09 comment "pasty kids, yes they are, and fat!"

People giving her the benefit of the doubt for not meaning to be malicious are too kind hearted... Deeply unpleasant.

I come from a family of bellowers. My mum, and brother in particular are horrendous, it was like growing up with a couple of Brian Blesseds! And I married a bellower, although in my defence i was so accustomed to bellowing I didn't even realise he was one 🤣 my eldest has inherited the bellowing gene. I'm somehow very softly spoken but it's quite embarrassing when we're all out, or someone is getting told off, or they're all having a conversation with each other. It was especially embarrassing on holiday around the pool, we must have sounded like a right bunch of fishwives

Ha, violets, love your last few words!

I came across two posh people in the supermarket who were the loudest people I had ever heard. They were literally screaming at each other and trying to "out posh" the other one. For example "Oh yes, Clarinda just got accepted to Cambridge" "Amazing, my 3 loved it there" "How marvellous, we'll think about that whilst yachting" "Oh super, we always think about all our horses when yachting".

They got louder and louder and stood stock still in the middle of the queue and everyone just moved around them. They were screaming for the benefit of all those around them and they really cheered me up.

Just come back from holiday with the noisy family from hell as neighbours. Kids thundered up and down never walked. Singing loudly whilst walking to and from accommodation. Dad doing some sort of 'rap' at gone midnight at what sounded like 10000 decibels whilst the kids SQUEALED with laughter at the muppet.
He didn't talk he just yelled

Yadnbu. It is ridiculously rude. I would say something and tut.

But it IS bloody uncouth to roar, screech, warble and yap (dog) all the fecking time up and down the street every sunny day! Its incredibly self-absorbed, rude behaviour.

I'm sure 4 doors down are not terrible people (our cats are friends at least) and it seems to be happy roaring most of the time - but it is very, VERY annoying.

I understand your frustration, OP, on the matter of excessively loud people. A family we camped near during the spring half-term were unbelievably noisy. The elder son was quite excitable; but it was the volume employed by his dad bawling at him to be quiet that really cause unnecessary disturbance.

That said, I am absolutely with SausageRoll on your choice of description. This is the 21st century: no need for unpleasant comments about anyone’s skin colour, however annoying you find them!

We are very loud but both myself and dd who is three have hearing problems. Ds may do too so it makes sense we are loud, but it wouldnt ve obvious to an outsider

YABU I think it's what you're used to, we live in a busy area and there is constant road noise, people being loud etc you get used to it

Oddly, my kids are very loud in the house, fairly loud in public places, but somehow manage to appear polite to other adults. I don’t know how they do it. I shush them all the time, so maybe that’s working? I feel like I constantly have to apologise for their noisiness.
Yesterday we went to a pub with a nice garden and the barmaid complimented me on having the ‘most polite children’ she had ‘ever met’; apparently one of them offered to do the pots for her when we sent them to take the glasses to the bar. Funnily enough she has never offered to do that for me 🙄 I look at families with quiet children when out and wonder how on earth they manage it. Trying to keep my lot quiet is like trapping a wasp under a glass; the noise is now localised and increasing, and you know you’re in for it as soon as you release them!

Another one here to say YABVVVVU to make derogatory comments based on their skin colour.

By all means criticise how they choose to behave, but to make pathetic cheap jibes at anybody, let alone children, because of their skin colour is hitting a real low.

Would you have mentioned if they happened to be black or Asian or Mediterranean or mixed-race? I hope not, because this would equally be a completely irrelevant detail.

I acknowledge that you didn't mean to cause offence, but then to complain about the 'Mumsnet police', rather than just concede that you (albeit non-maliciously) used a race-based slur makes you seem very immature and somewhat PA.

OP I’m with you. I was pilloried by some on here a while back for having the audacity to suggest that it was unreasonable for me to be subjected to the noise of the two feral kids four houses away when trying to relax on an evening.

People simply don’t realise or don’t care how much their noise affects others.

In fact as I write this, fat mother of the two feral kids is conducting a conversation from one side of the street to the other at full volume because, of course, my life would be incomplete without hearing her dulcet tones at nearly 10pm....

My children are pasty (it it means pale?), I didn’t realise it was something they would be judged on?! It’s DH’s Celtic genes!

Could they introduce lessons in school about how to behave in shared public spaces or do some public info ads on TV ( yes, I know not realistic!) Screaming kids on buses ignored by parents and children or adults with their feet on the seat are very annoying.

@childless, yes you’ve confirmed you’re an arse. I hope the “pasty, fat” foghorns continue unabashed tomorrow

Jessibunni - yes this is me and all my family, exactly as you describe.

Yes of course we make massive attempts at being quiet when we should. In church, the library, or where there are others relaxing. At work or school lessons when people are concentrating. But it takes a lot of mental effort and concentration to do that and you can’t ever relax as you are constantly ‘on’ worrying if you are talking to loudly or too much etc. So just like the introverts who are saying they can tolerate a certain amount of noise but then need calm and quiet. Those of us who are naturally loud and exuberant can manage a certain amount of moderating our behaviour (because of course we should, to respect other people, and display good manners etc) but once home or somewhere appropriate we need chance to be ourselves and make noise, interact with others or even just converse at a level that’s comfortable.

I think we need to differentiate between people who just have a naturally loud voice or who might be chatter boxes and excitable and those who are blatantly rude and ill mannered and inconsiderate of others (I.e, loud music late at night, letting kids out at 5am, shouting in the street etc). There is a difference.

I used to say to dd what my mother said to me ..

"You are not the only pebble on the beach, other people would like to enjoy their lunch/coffee/whatever without hearing from you. "

As a toddler she got the message quickly.

Ever since the heatwave began there have been posts on Mumsnet and Gransnet about noise in the open air. People do not like noise: - shouty kids, dogs barking, men shouting when barbecuing and watching football, families screeching at each other from no distance.

I agree with the complainers. I am a quiet person who likes things to be as calm as possible. I know this isn't always tenable and can tolerate (quite ) a bit of noise. But to we introverts, noise is stressful.

Shhhh!

I sympathise to a degree with the OP and all the others who are blighted by the loud brigade but not all of us do it on purpose. We're off on our hols on Friday and as a loud mum in a loud family, I'm dreading it. Despite all my best efforts, I really struggle to contain our noise. Me and 2 of the kids do have hearing issues, while my 3 year old is prone to night terrors. I will spend the entire fortnight cringing and forcing us out on day trips just to give the neighbours some respite. Knowing the embarrassment of being 'that' family, I'd much rather be in your predicament OP.

@blanktimes I hope that wasn’t aimed at me. My kids are very loud. But I went on to say that we do try and are considerate to others. By that I meant, we ask them to keep their noise down, at times even remove them from the situation and there are consequences for when they continually shout.
My children spend a lot of time with their grandparents who haven’t got the best of hearing so they are constantly asking them to speak louder.
Your post is very hypocritical as you clearly have no manners.

YANBU about the noise levels. I was recently on holiday with lots of children (my nieces, nephews and own children) and we told them lots and lots of times to speak more quietly. They are excitable and get louder and louder but it's not fair on others trying to enjoy their holiday in a bit of peace.

DH's family aren't loud exactly, but they all screech at one another as though they are having an argument and they all talk over one another. It's taken me years to get used to it and not saying anything

YABU about the pasty comment. As a perpetually pale person with equally luminous white children, that's a bit mean. But you sort of acknowledged that.