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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a female lover to brighten up my existence?

114 replies

milkchocolate · 29/05/2007 14:37

Is that cheating? or not?
I have my husband whom I love, and my kids.
But life is dull. Am I being unreasonable to have an "affair" with a woman? Who is also married with kids, if neither of us have any inclination to leave our husbands, and we live so far away we can hardly ever get to meet? Just a sort of flirtation?

Slap me if you must, or drill some sense into me.

OP posts:
Original poster
milkchocolate · 29/05/2007 14:47

no I wouldnt.

can you all just slap me?
never thought this should happen

OP posts:
PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 14:47

So go and get some therapy and sort it out before you decide what to do.

Don't ruin your dh's life (and probably yours and your kids' too) by having an affair. It is disrespectful and unfair and will cause untold misery

princessmel · 29/05/2007 14:46

Yes, its cheating.

HuwEdwards · 29/05/2007 14:46

ditto lulumama

the sex of your intended lover is completely irrelevant.

aviatrix · 29/05/2007 14:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

preggerspoppet · 29/05/2007 14:46

would you be happy to allow your dh to have sex with another man?

Original poster
milkchocolate · 29/05/2007 14:45

Somehow, and I may sound like an immoral, unscrupulous bigotted twat, but it doesnt seem like cheating as she is female?
Or, is that just wishful thinking? Having some issues I need to iron out. Have repressed that side of me for 15 years, and then she walks into my life. Me unhappy aboutt this.

OP posts:
lulumama · 29/05/2007 14:45

having sex with someone other than your DH , regardless of that other person;s gender, is still cheating

if your marriage and your life is boring, do something together to liven it up, or get out of the marriage !!

Speccy · 29/05/2007 14:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheArmadillo · 29/05/2007 14:41

If you have a relationship with someone else it is cheating whatever the sex of that person.

Try and spice up your life with your husband rather than potentially destroying everything you have by having an affair.

chevre · 29/05/2007 14:41

definitely cheating.

PetronellaPinkPants · 29/05/2007 14:41

yes it is cheating
of course it is!

Original poster
milkchocolate · 29/05/2007 14:40

We are both bi-sexual, me and this other woman. Our husbands are straight. Mine does not know I am, though.

OP posts:
wheresthevalium · 29/05/2007 14:39

Um, are you bi-sexual or is this specific to this one person?

If so, is you DH aware that you are bi?