To feel pissed off with advertising to the 50+

I am not religious and couldn't give a stuff about how people react!
Nothing to do with them. My family know my wishes.

I am not sent this stuff ( even though my date of birth comes up on Google (which I cannot get removed and even though I am a granny who also has teenagers and am mid 50s). I made my first will aged 18 when I was studying law at university with my burial requirements - burial, not cremation. My estate should be more than enough to cover the funeral costs so no need to buy anything in advance. I probably have about 30 years to go hopefully all of them working full time.

I tend not to see adverts. I turn the sound down on sky; I throw all junk mail away unread etc so perhaps it just passed me by and on line the advertisers always think I am interested in the court case subject matters I am litigating as my work tends to determine most of my web searches so that specific advertising is usually very and amusingly off the mark.

HRTpatch It won’t affect you as you will be dead, what about the people you leave behind

Who wants all that extra shit?
I certainly don't.
What a waste of money.

Bluelady Yes it’s their decision, but what about the people left behind they are the ones that have to live with yourself decision.

Because people who have direct cremation WANT that, are you really saying that people shouldn't have freedom of choice over what happens to them when they're dead? It's not what I want but it's absolutely what should happen for people who do.

I am nowhere close to being a grandmother as ds is still at university, but that seems to be aimed at 50+. Just because I am over 50 doesn't mean I am brain dead or need a walking stick!

I think MN needs to redo their age ranges.

Rosstac That sounds like a lovely send off to your dear parent or whoever, After years of life and love just give a quick roast and be done with them, what about celebrating their life and people wanting to show their last respects

Rosstac, all those things are optional. Direct cremation means no funeral. The undertakers take the body to the crematorium and it goes straight into the burner with nobody there. A lot of people are choosing this now. Not everyone wants an all the trimmings send off.

HRTpatch What about all the other things associated with a funeral, ie wake, flowers, hearse, chapel of rest, local paper announcements, order of service, a person to do the service( forgot what there are called) the urn for the ashes, etc

My direct cremation has cost £1600.
I even paid for it on my JL card so I get some vouchers

I'd actually love to go on a coach tour holiday!

Well I'm 40 and love adult only holidays! There's been a mix of ages at the places we've stayed. I think you're being a bit paranoid.

Oliversmumsarmy I suppose your one of them people that tell other people how wacky and crazy you are, how rules apply to other people and you don’t care what any one else thinks, radical dude,
Have you let your children know that they’re going to have to fork out for your funeral yet, best give them time to save.

It’s probably because when organisations, including Mumsnet, do consumer surveys, they usually have 10 year ranges for younger people but only ‘55+’ for the older ones, so anyone over 55 is assumed to have the same interests/wants etc as an 80 year old.
I’ve brought this up with MN some time ago, and was told they don’t think they have enough over 55s to be significant- I suspect they are wrong by now.

If you face the fact you are getting older you might be able to grow old gracefully, instead of trying to defy the inevitable but if you don't feel old why should you "grow old"

I think you can F off with your ideas of what the “ norm” is. In my corner of the South East it’s not extraordinary at all to be a parent in your late 40’s , early 50’s with primary age children. I’m 48 and my daughter is 6 and I know plenty of mothers who are around the same age. My mother was also 44 when she had her last baby so it’s not even a new phenomena. The consultant I saw when I was pregnant said he sees so many women in their 40’s, it’s not unusual at all. Of course if you gave birth in your 20’s or younger you would naturally gravitate towards women your own age - which then clearly leads you to believe that you are typical.

I'm sympathetic about the beige slacks adverts, don't buy Women's Weekly (which my grandma gets) then...

I'm less sympathetic about people moaning about Tena lady. If you are lucky enough not to have a damaged pelvic floor through childbirth or other problem, good for you, but stop going on about incontinence as if it's a step towards the grave or like it's some type of insult if you are offered pads through advertising. It's GREAT that Tena is advertized on TV and not hidden away, it's like periods, it's not shameful. People on here are going on 'I don't wee when I laugh' like people who go on about still having their own hair and teeth- it's not actually a life achievement and some of the talk on here is very disparaging of those who do wee when they laugh, so what?

I am not incontinent, but if I was, I think everyone going on indignantly about how awful it is and how it would never happen to them because they are so successful at ageing (because you are just going to think it better? or be terribly lucky?) is unhelpful. The reason it becomes problematic in older age (including 50plus!) is due to the menopause, muscle loss in the pelvic floor region and atrophy in that area. Not due to poor attitude to ageing!

I do agree the representation of 50-70 year old women is pretty old-fashioned, though and that's something it would be brilliant to challenge.

Funeral plans ARE a rip off, but what are those of us who can't 'just' put a few grand aside meant to do? I have barely enough money to keep me afloat day to day, certainly not enough to leave a lump sum aside (and since I'd be dead and my accounts would therefore be frozen and inaccessible until probate, my relatives would still have to find the money upfront, albeit with the knowledge they would get it back) - so funeral plans that will pay out instantly to cover the costs is pretty much the only way (apart from notes under the mattress).

As I said, you can do it for less than those figures. My dad's funeral and a cremation cost £2500. We had flowers from the garden, only us family there and no cars other than the hearse. We toyed with buying a cardboard coffin but the logistics of getting it in time etc were complicated.
This was what my dad wanted- he didn't want to waste money.

But I agree that the living have to make funeral provision not wait till they are dead and expect their children to fork out (my parents saved like mad all their lives and the prime consideration was having enough for 2 funerals.)

@Oliversmumsarmy

Or just get on with life and let others worry about digging a hole and dumping you in it.... You will be dead and won't care

I said this earlier but I will say it again!

It is selfish and irresponsible to say 'I will be dead so I won't care about funeral costs' because you are ultimately leaving your loved ones with the financial burden of your funeral, that can run into the middle 4 figures (4 grand-ish..) And THAT is for a 'basic' one.

Unless you want the council to give you a 'paupers' funeral. If so, you will get incinerated with dozens of other people, your family won't know when it will happen, they won't be allowed there anyway, they won't be allowed the ashes from the cremation, and there will be no grave or resting place.

Is that what you want for your loved ones and family?

If you DON'T want to pay into a funeral plan (and they are a bit expensive,) then at LEAST put 3 or 4 grand away, so your family doesn't have to suffer the financial burden!

Bit selfish oliversarmy.
I'm having direct cremation and it is all paid for..I'm nearly 60.
So my dh and dcs don't have to worry. It isn't their responsibility to pay for it.

Funeral plans are a topic in the media at the moment- and not for good reasons! They are a rip off.

You can have a very simple DIY funeral for around £2K if you avoid car hire, fancy coffins, service etc. and go for a humanist ceremony with only close family- just cremated one of my parents this way.