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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my mum doesn't need a house full of toys meant for her grandchildren?

85 replies

KaySamuels · 28/05/2007 16:18

I have a ds (2), my sis S has a ds (2) and a dd (5), and my sis A has a ds (4).

Our uncle (mum's brother) has a ds (our cousin) aged 8, who regularly clears out his toys and send them round "for the little ones as he is too big for them now". Aw bless! He has a big family and is the youngest so is practically drowning in toys and has been brought up to share and be geerous, his fearing he would otherwise end up being spoilt and greedy!

Anyway, these toys get dropped off at my mum's maybe twice a year. My mum thens stashes them around the house in cupboards, etc and keeps them!!!!!! I am a childminder and have ds and two step sons and she currently has an equal amount of toys as I have at home! The first few times we let it go, however last time me and sister S went round and split the toys up in front of her between the children, and took them home, including sister A's, which we dropped round to her house so they didn't go back in the cupboard. She was like a sulky teenager, and was in a right mood about it!

My mum is very strange.

So was there yesterday and another lot got dropped off, my uncle was telling me what was there, what cousin had grown out of, did my ds like them etc....dp helped uncle get the toys out of the car....and my mum took them upstairs and put them on her bed!?! wtf!

My sister S is quite feisty and has said she is going on Thursday with or without me to split the toys up. (We all have keys and mum will be out.)

My mum is strange no? I feel mad about this on two counts:

  1. None of us hae much money, and are all very grateful to receive these toys (cousin gets lovely xmas pressies off us in appreciation )
  2. I often bump into Uncle and am worried I should be thanking him for something I haven't received. (sometimes don't know about toys until the kids drag new ones out the cupboard and ask where they are from).
OP posts:
hana · 28/05/2007 16:40

I don't htink I'd be letting myself in to take some toys without telling your mum, very innapropriate and sneaky.
Maybe your mum is quite proud that she has so many toys for her grandchildren to play with when they visit?

JohnnyDeppsMrs · 28/05/2007 16:39

What serenity said.

nailpolish · 28/05/2007 16:38

as i said i think you are lucky. stop being so greedy.

Original poster
KaySamuels · 28/05/2007 16:36

My mum's mum has what I consider a normal amount of toys for a grandparent with no children living at home (a small cupboard full). When we go visit her the kids usually take a toy each and that's that! My mum has toys all over ! I mean really, a ridiculous amount. There is no way they could get bored. She has a massive box of toys overflowing, two large cupboards full, a toy kitchen, two little tykes coupe cars in the garage, lots of dvds, sister had to put foot down and take little tykes house, the list goes on.

She has also been funny about our own possesions. For example sister A had left a disney vhs at mum's, sister S's dd said she loved said video so sister A said, you can have it pick it up from nanna's and tkae it home with you. Little girl picks vhs up..
nanna: 'oh are you borrowing my video xx?'
Sister S: 'no aunty A said xx may keep aunty A's video'
nanna: 'oh right I see' [in put out sulky voice]

OP posts:
Desiderata · 28/05/2007 16:36

It's obvious! Your mum wants to play with them. She was obviously toy-deprived as a child, and probably sits upstairs in her bedroom for hours stroking furry creatures, making brick houses, and assembling 5-piece jigsaws!!!

Ahem .. but seriously. You just need to do whatever it takes (like going on Thursday), to get those toys to their rightful recipients.

You'll want to be leaving a few behind at your mums, for reasons already stated, but take the rest. GO GIRL!!

serenity · 28/05/2007 16:35

I think you should leave some at your Mums too tbh. I definitely wouldn't go to her house and take them whilst she's not there, I'd be very p'ed off if I were her (how would feel if she came and did something similar to you?) I do see where you're coming from, but on the other hand I do think you and you sister are being a bit grabby. Leave a stash at your Mums, it'll make everyones life easier, plus the Dcs will appreciate the toys more having them there where the access is limited - stops them getting bored with them so quickly.

PinkTulips · 28/05/2007 16:33

my moms kept a load of my old toys and has them at her house but as soon as dd grows into something she encourages us to take it with us for her. she likes there to be a couple of things in the house but they are there for dd to play with and get dragged out the second we turn up.

very odd behaviour and i don't think it would be out of order to say to your uncle that you would prefer to have them dropped to one of your houses so they can be split up from there, make up an excuse if you don't want to tell him the real reason!

fireflyfairy2 · 28/05/2007 16:27

My mum likes to have a few toys at her house for the dc's to play with when they visit.

Can you leave some of the toys at your mums house and take the rest?

Perhaps she is afraid of the kids getting bored if they have nothing to play with at her house?

nailpolish · 28/05/2007 16:27

i think you are lucky. i spend a lot of time at my mums but she ahs not toys whatsoever for my children in her house. they have to make do with a biro and old envelopes or a wooden spoon and pot lids. unless i take toys with me. they enjoy the spoons and pot lids, but not all the time every time

pesme · 28/05/2007 16:21

weird, can you tell your uncle to just give them to you or your sister as your mother doesn't want them cluttering up the house or something like that. sorry your mother is being so strange.