To think my mum doesn't need a house full of toys meant for her grandchildren?

I think you need to read the whole thread, kslatts!

Kay - your mum IS being unreasonable and obviously needs help but you've tried, it's hard isn't it!

My dh's mum was pure evil and some people are NOT lucky to have a mum (can't remember who said that but read somewhere) - my dh would have been much better off NOT having one but that's another story! She also had very odd behaviour and wouldn't let any of her kids take their own belongings when they left home - she'd say I gave you them!!

The bit that makes me is that your children have seen these and yet they are hidden away from them too!

And just ignore the people who said horrible things, they obviously don't understand what it's like!

I can understand why your mum wants to keep toys at her house for your dc's to play with, that way all her grandchildren get to play with all of the toys and she has toys there for when you visit.

My mum is a childminder so my dd's love visiting her as she has lots of toys.

no, your mum is not behaving normally. she sounds like she suffers from delusions. she might even think she has another child in her house now (the result of her phantom pg?) and the toys are for that child and the gcs. in which case it would be cruel to take them when she's out. this might just be her way of coping with life.

however, why not tell your uncle to drop them off to your house. you do not have to keep her behaviour secret, and you should not have to suffer the consequences of it now.

hey, i didnt mean to upset you.

having re-read your OP i still get the impression that all you want are the toys, but later posts differ. im sorry. this clearly is the straw that broke the camels back, if i were you i would step back, forget about the toys, and think "ive done my best to help her" and walk away. who cares about the toys. if she wants them then she can have them. they are just material possessions fgs

We've all had conversations with people were the thing they talked about first wasn't the real issue - and I think we have one here.

Your mum sounds ill. I think that someone should tell your uncle that he is feeding the illness, and suggest that he gives the toys to a charity shop or sells them on Ebay. He won't of course - he will give them to you, but it will stop him jumping to the same conclusions that some of the posters on here have come to - and instead concentrate on his sister's health.

Maybe you should start a new thread on health about the phantom pregnancy business, and just mention toy hoarding as one symptom.

Thank you very much VVV. Trust it is recognised on all MN borders? Shall refer all hot and bothered posters to you, so you can fully explain the small print.

Yes, you may. Watch where you tread in future

Your mum appears to have nightmare issues. You've tried and failed to get help for her, for which you deserve admiration, as not all children would take those steps.

Now you have to take steps to keep everyone else happy. Deal with the toy issue the best way you can, be it letting your sister do what she feels the need to, or approaching your Uncle.

As an aside, her behaviour seems to trouble you a great deal. Forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but maybe a session or three with a counsellor yourself might be useful? If nothing else, they can teach you a few effective ways of dealing with the crap that other people (especially parents) and life can throw at you. They're also an empathetic bunch, and it can sometimes be good to just let it all out in the presence of somebody who will not judge or tell you to stop being silly.

Take care of yourself.

Agnes

Crikey. Don't have pass yet so can't plead immunity from serious issues can I? Ok did watch. Honest. Can I have the pass now?

You can have it on the condition you go here and follow the instructions

I think someone once said, you can't blame someone for being ill, you can blame them for not doing anything about it.

This seems to be the situation you're in, would you say?

DP finds himself in that situation, and is all at sea as to how things should be between him and his Ps.

Sorry if you find yourself there.

And she's nicked the toys for goodness sake. Bit of a bummer if children are having to be "all grown up" about your mother's behaviour (but I'm guessing you know how that is, hey?)

Oh yes please can I have that? Please? I promise not to venture on to difficult and contentious threads again. Will only lark about like a fool on the the silly ones.

(Also, will it come in a folder? I'd like a sort of pass or something which I could wave if I ever stray again. I think it should be brightly coloured and clearly visible. Is this possible?)

are you attempting to claim diplomatic immunity 100??

Yes, yes. This is what I meant all along.

Oil on troubled waters, I think.

Yes, you're right. Was somewhat pathetic attempt to smooth over the waters.
(That can't be right can it VVV? Do you smooth waters? Surely not. Smooth over RUFFLED FEATHERS that's it.)

maybe not meaning to a100x, but, apparently their fingers just blurted out those words that kay listed further up?

I think kay has got short shrift on here, by folk taking things at face value and not having the sensitivity to look further into it.

Concur with everything Desiderata said (!), (cept the bit about my mum being an alcoholic...oh no hang on, she's not saturated all day every day, but.....)

I've not been the voice of reason beore Kay BUT I don't think anyone on here was meaning to be mean to you, honestly. Don't give up.
I think it's a misunderstanding really. Possibly some people haven't picked up on the fact that your mother is extremely problematic - you didn't really flag this up until later - and therefore their responses was based on the idea that you were after the toys. Is a misunderstanding that is all. Then some folk want you to address the underlying problem - your mum - and others are probably more practical.
Having read this thread through, it comes across as a bit of a mix up that's all. I'm sorry you were upset.

Have you thought about approaching your uncle to talk to him?

Kay is is possible you mum holds on to the toys because she realises the hard time you had children and wishes to make up or thathere is someinner sadness around children / toys do you much about her childhood - IMO you and your sisters should split the toys fairly they are meant for your children but you should also ask your uncle to drop teh toys off soem where else next time to avoid this

Kay - {hugs}

i don't have anything helpful to say, just wanted you to know that i'm thinking of you x

i know how you feel about the thread going wrong kay, one of my first ones was totally non-controversial and still ended up turning into a row, i was quite upset at the time even tho i was not emotionally fragile and it wasnt a sensitive topic. please dont feel you cant post, if it helps i have not had another turn out like that. if im honest i do browse aibu looking for interesting threads cos so many people post on here in a jokey fashion, lots of people are quite rude and it is taken as fun. obviously this wasnt the thread for that i do hope you get this sorted out

I read this but did not post, FGS how can something so simple go so pear shaped.

I have been here 3 years and I am starting to think I have seen the best of MN.

I think that the posters who called you names possibly have ishoos with their own families and perhaps could only see that you were talking about toys and not the rest of it.

They sounded envious of the toys fgs, and seemed (wilfully?) unable to see that you were so upset about the situation.

I think AIBU brings out the worst in posters though, frankly, you're right.