Mother in law wants to buy next door

Yes snicker I meant point out to her DH

Eeek! This sounds like a nightmare in the making.

I would be asking her if she wouldn't prefer your house instead as you are going to be moving.

BIL and SIL live next door to PIL. They thought it was great when the DC were young and they had free childcare on tap. Now PIL are older they expect 'payback' big time. They are in and out of SIL house and generally feel they have a right to comment on every aspect of their lives. The DC now teens, get particularly frustrated with the constant over involvement, there certainly is no special grandparent relationship, just frustration and resentment with the over familiarity.
SIL would quite like to move, but now feels they're 'trapped' as it would look bad to leave them. So so glad we have some distance.

Weigh up the pros and cons of her living next door as opposed to developers coming in and buying the plot.

i wouldnt even live next door to my own mum, who I love to bits, let alone the MIL

My mate has a similar situation. MIL has bought next door which everyone is very happy about... but the thing is, her DH is happiest as he can keep an eye on mum, who has had several falls; his siblings are happy cos she now has an offspring next door which gets them off the hook, a sibling who is 'in between' very well paid, long hours, lots of travel - jobs so currently is ever-present; my SAHM (of 2 late teenage DC) mate is happy as she wants to engineer a bit of a garden grab to enlarge her own garden (legally and with MIL paid accordingly).

Trouble is.. MIL is now having wobbles about selling half her garden; and everyone is not surprisingly expecting my mate to step up and do 'her share' of the hospital appointments; and her DH is spending a lot of time 'settling mum in' as he is a very attentive son (genuinely) but my mate is, as far as family are concerned, a bit of a hard-nosed bitch, if I'm honest!.

I see trouble ahead.

Best piece of advice I was ever told about in laws? ..... never live within walking distance of your in laws

I’d be moving, heck emigrating even.

I think I might be in the minority but I wouldn't mind. I would want to make sure to set some sensible boundaries but would be ok. I know other people that have done similar to this and it has been fine.

My Mum lives next door.
It's ok, she respects our privacy in the main and she's on hand for cat feeding and bringing the washing in, that kind of thing.
She also cleans for me which I pay her for.
DH is less keen because she gets on his nerves. Mine too sometimes but it's not far to go home.

It would be too much. My parents live 5 minutes walk away in the same village and that’s fine, but next door would be too much.

Hell no!
This would be my nightmare!

girls good one! you mean point out to her dh? Mil would also hear any arguments too.

Oh no this is a nightmare! She's only a street away why isn't your husband pointing out it's too much?!

Stick a for sale sign outside of your house and tell her you're moving. Then when the bungalow next door has sold take it down and tell her you changed your mind about selling your house.

It's common to live with the husband's parents where I live (Indian families etc) and the children have very close relationships with the grandparents but it isn't always easy. I wouldn't have any problems with it but we all work full time just about until just about death so there is never anyone with too much time on their hands interfering in this family.

Won't those buildings with a log burner but no permission make your house a bit difficult to sell?

That would be a nightmare for me. Mine lives in another country and still dh listens to her advice over mine. We get on ok but she drove me bonkers by the end of her last visit cos she's meticulous and set it in her ways.

No way!

You could point out that she ll be able to hear you in your bedroom from her house ..?

You need to have this conversation with your husband, not your mother in law. You need to be clear that you are not okay with living with her or next door to her. Your wellbeing trumps any extra garage or parking space. If she buys that bungalow, make it clear that you will be moving out or putting your house on the market.

He then needs to communicate this to his mother as your JOINT decision which he will not be changing. This is not something that you should be backing down on, nor something that you should allow to divide the two of you, with him taking his mother's side.

The title of this thread alone made my heart fall out of my arse.

Absolutely fucking not! I'd run a mile

FUCK THAT!

The very title of this thread filled me with dread

Bucking the trend ... my MIL lives next door and it's perfect!

Dh pops in morning & evening.
She does our gardening & ironing.
Take it in turns to do Sunday lunch.
Permanently available cover for if a DC is off school it needs a lift (eg work experience)

When she was unwell a while ago we were on hand to support her without any extra hassle.

She doesn't come round unless planned. I had been apprehensive about her dropping in but DH set clear expectations before she move.

All in all, it's been a blessing.