Mother in law wants to buy next door

I adore my MIL, and my mother. I still wouldn’t want either of them living next door to me. No hate involved at all.

Good for you.
They might not want to live next door to you, no hate involved.

*Tell them to put a letter through the door and the relatives will, hopefully, take it up and MIL will be outbid.

^^ I don't understand this comment*

Me neither

No way would I entertain this. We are 20 minutes and 45 minutes drive away from both mothers and it’s what is right and proper lol!

Sunshine

Set the house on fire.

I can see any other way out.

My parents considered buying the house next to us. We don't have the best relationship ever, but I trusted them not to intrude, so I didn't mind the idea at all

So much MIL hate on Mumsnet...I hope all you mothers of sons get your just desserts

I adore my MIL, and my mother. I still wouldn’t want either of them living next door to me. No hate involved at all.

Are you prepared to leave him over this? I would.

Problem is, you really can't stop her if she's hellbent on buying that house. Both you AND your DH could say you aren't in favour of it, but that won't stop her if she thinks it's the right thing to do.

So you need to have a contingency plan. What that is, short of moving, I have no idea. I guess I'd start with her not having keys and no 'popping over'.

I'm in the minority too, wouldn't bother me at all.
So much MIL hate on Mumsnet...I hope all you mothers of sons get your just desserts.

I would be more bothered about living next door to some twat who'd put up outbuildings and a log burner AKA another fucking house.

Better next door than in the same house

A few years ago, my DH and PIL were adamant that the best way for my DH and I to get on the property ladder, and also be able to start our own family would be to buy a house together with them living in it with us.

As much as I loved my PIL, I was adamant that I would rather ‘permanently remove’ my wedding ring than live with them.

It was really hard to keep putting my foot down and saying no, but I stuck to it. I just could not have coped with us all living together.

She obviously has plans to be at your house a lot or she'd be fine 5 mins away where she is.

I'd be honest and say she can't move next door as it would ruin your relationship (with her) and that if she chooses to do so anyway, you will be moving. far.

She will constantly be in your house if she moves next door especially if her new house needs doing up first. I would make sure your DH is on the same side. My friend agreed to buying a property with a self contained flat underneath for her widowed FIL. It ended in disaster with her almost having a mental breakdown, FIL went into hospital and they would not have him home and her husband and her so stressed they would work all hours of the day and night rather than come home to FIL.

Your problem is that you can't tell her she's not allowed to move there. The only way to stop it is to try and buy the place yourself!

It may be worth laying down your strict ground rules now, and hopefully she'll decide that actually she doesn't want to live next to you after all.

My lovely parents are moving to my town. They have essentially ask out blessing and advice on areas. Next door came up for sale. It wasn't in budget, and was unsuitable. My dad is too sensible to live next door. I think my mum would have considered it if the house had been suitable and affordable. She would have needed talking down by her own child (and it wouldn't have been good for my marriage if I encouraged it - not quite dumpable but I would have got the blame for any rows / disputes / annoyances). Get husband to see sense and he needs to talk her down.

OMG poor lamb I would hate to be you.

Puts me in mind of some years ago - very early 00's - my husband's dad died, and his mum was on her own as his brother had moved to Oz in the late 1990's.

We had one child aged 3, and were in a 3 bed house that we had moved into some months before (from a 2 bed.) We moved as we were running out of room in our tiny 2 bed starter home.

We had quite an argument at the time, as she asked him if she could move in with us! She said she would be 'freeing a 3 bed house up for a family' (her house was council rented.) We had a spare room, and she said she could help by cooking and cleaning, and if we have a 2nd child, the 2 can share for at least 10 years,'

DH actually wanted her to move in too, saying she would be a good babysitter, she could help with housework and shopping, and would help financially. I got on OK with her, and there was technically room for her, but I just flat out did not want her living with us. She's nice and all, but it would have resulted in a TOTAL lost of privacy, and I would not have been able to relax in my own hone. I would have felt as if I had to entertain her all the time, and chat to her, and take her anywhere she wanted to go as she couldn't drive....

I said 'would you want MY mother living here?' My mum and DH didn't like each other much as they were both hot headed and opinionated and sometimes clashed... so DH said 'you KNOW me and your mum don't get on too well, so obviously not - you get ON with my mum!'

He says 'give me ONE reason why my mum can't live here.' It was easy.....

'I don't WANT her living here.......'

I don't know what he said to her, but she stayed put anyway, and we still got on OK, so he must have said it won't work or we are planning another child or something. A few months after all this, she met another man, and he moved in within a few months with his 15 year old daughter. They are still together!

Yep, sorry OP I do not know what to suggest at ALL, as you cannot stop her buying the house.

I'd hate it, really hate it but you might not be able to stop it.
What you can do is set some ground rules - whatever issues you predict
such as her not feeding your kids, not coming round unannounced, you all eat your meals in your own homes etc.
If she keeps turning up then go straight to bed with a 'headache' (and your laptop to tell us) until she gets the hint.
its horrible, I really feel for you.

Hell on earth. Good luck!

If she moves in next door, put your house on the market IMMEDIATELY.

YABU! I think you are being unfair

I'm only joking! I'd be going estate agents ready to sell my house! I think DP would do the same too!
I actually feel for you!

Haha! I would love my MIL live next to me but hell no to my own mother! Good luck

She could very well report you for that outbuilding and log burner.

Tread Carefully.

Only you know your mother-in-law. List of pros and cons with you and DP?

No way. YANBU

I would explain to DH that if MIL buys next door your marriage is over.

Good lord! Why does she feel the need to be even closer to you? The next street is very close already.

Say ‘we don’t want to live in each others pockets’ and repeat until you are blue in the face. Otherwise you are going to have to rustle up the money yourself to either buy it and become a secret landlord or bribe the agent not to sell to her.