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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to shout a bit at my mum when she drove 2 miles with my son strapped in his carseat, but not strapped to the car??

39 replies

kittylette · 26/05/2007 20:44

She seems to think i overreacted when she put him in the car but didnt check the carseat was actully attached!

I got straight in the front, assuming my fully competent, secretary mother could put my son in the car without help (after all shes been doing it 2 years)

Then when i got in the back and discovered it apparantly it wasmy fault for not checking

AIBU?

I seriosuly don't know? Should i have checked she did it properly when shes had 4 kids of her own?

OP posts:
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sandcastles · 27/05/2007 14:57

But she wouldn't have used car seats with her own children, would she?

I must admit that I always check IL's carseat (they have their own for dd) before she gets into it, as they are always taking it in & out.

I always check ours too, tbh.

Idreamofdaleks · 27/05/2007 14:21

Pointless to be cross with her, I'm sure it was an accident and that she will be more careful next time. We all make mistakes.

helenhismadwife · 27/05/2007 14:20

I think most people have done it at some point dh and I have I remember shouting at him as well not that it was any more his fault than mine but I was so upset about what could have happened maybe this is how you feel as well Kitty a bit guilty you didnt check

tortoiseSHELL · 26/05/2007 22:35

I've done it lots of times, always feel very guilty afterwards, but particularly with the infant carriers, it's really easy to think you've done 'strapping in' when you've just strapped them into the seat, not into the car.

MissGolightly · 26/05/2007 22:32

Well, a mistake is a mistake. We've all done it. As a sleep-deprived new mum I drove DS home from town not properly strapped into his car seat. I put him in, fastened one bit, something fell out the back of the car, and I forgot to go back and do up the other bit.

He was fine, but I couldn't have felt more guilty if someone had yelled at me about it.

interstellar · 26/05/2007 22:30

Well, however scary etc this has been I agree that this is something many of us have done by accident.I drove an hour up th em4 with my 6mnth safely in his car seat which was not attached,and trust me 9 yrs on i am one of the strictest mothers on boosters and saet belts i know.I'm pretty sure your mum won't overlook this important issue again.

Dogsby · 26/05/2007 22:09

oh you withc kitty

id not tkaeyour kdi out agin bth

tassis · 26/05/2007 22:01

(i've done this too)

LIZS · 26/05/2007 22:00

It was a mistake whcih fortunatley ahd nto bad ocnsequences. Been there done that You could have checked, even just by casting a glance to see the adult belt was fastened. Presumably you'd had to transfer the seat at some point and could have noticed by the time spent putting it in ? Yes your fine to be disappointed that she made a mistake but you were there too and so hadn't really delegated the responsibilty for your son. You'll probably both check next time

onlyjoking9329 · 26/05/2007 21:49

i have done it, she didn;t do it on purpose i am sure.

hatrick · 26/05/2007 21:49

This reply has been deleted

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collision · 26/05/2007 21:45

Well my parents who are only 55 and 60 often say

We couldnt work out how the seatbelts worked so we didnt bother!!!

All you have to do is loop the seatbelt through into the catch.

It isnt rocket science.

Mind you these are the same people who when asked to look after dnephew for a few hours let him nap for 4 hours because 'his mum will never know!' and gave him weightwatcher yukky yoghurt with nasty things in it cos 'his mum will never know!!'

Original poster
kittylette · 26/05/2007 21:44

Feck it1 its open!

wohoooo

OP posts:
Original poster
kittylette · 26/05/2007 21:41

lol, i want to but DP isnt back!!!

OP posts:
PinkChick · 26/05/2007 21:41

ive passed lots of cars recently with babies/toddlers in car seats, but not actually fastened in, leaning forward of kneeling backwards in them!

chipmonkey · 26/05/2007 21:39

Kitty, have some wine!

Original poster
kittylette · 26/05/2007 21:29

I know

but just because someone makes a genuine mistake doesnt mean they were in the wrong

The part im pissed about is the fact she tried to blame me for not checking it!

I couldve not strapped in him properly too at some point, but it would be MY mistake, i wouldnt blame her

AIBU for being pissed she said it was my fault for not double checking was the Q

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 26/05/2007 21:27

My DD has worked out how to undo hers (the little rascal). Look it's an unfortunate accident, you can bet she will check closely next time, mark it down to a temporary lapse in concentration and move on.

You are only unreasonable if you focus on things you can't change IMHO.

lisad123 · 26/05/2007 21:26

I have done it too
You mum would never have put your son at risk on purpose but we all male mistakes.
L

JodieG1 · 26/05/2007 21:24

Not unreasonable imo, surely people don't follow their parents around when they're doing things for their children double checking it's all been done perfectly? Don't we feel able to trust in others to take some responsibility for themselves too? I don't think you should have to check that your mother has put their grandchild into a carseat properly, if they have doubts they should ask.

ENTP · 26/05/2007 21:20

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Message withdrawn

SoupDragon · 26/05/2007 21:08

Do you never make mistakes, Kitty?

adath · 26/05/2007 21:05

A little unreasonable but not unnatural
You shouted because you were shocked at what could have happened which is totally natural but I know my mum wouldn't think to check the seat every time and in all honesty I don't either. The same could have happened to any of us and we probably may have shouted a bit in fright but really it was jst as much our fault.

ProfYaffle · 26/05/2007 21:04

dh forgot to strap dd2 into her car seat today. I would've forgotton to strap dd1 in a few weeks ago if she hadn't reminded me she wasn't done up. It happens, we're all human.

gess · 26/05/2007 21:01

I've done it a couple of times- no idea how it came undone assume another child did it. So yes you are BU. It's a mistake, they happen.