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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel outraged by a mum who said "congratulations! I didn't know you were expecting..."

78 replies

sauce · 25/05/2007 12:07

Yesterday when picking up the dc from school. It was hot & I was wearing one of these stupid smock dresses. I wanted to strangle the stupid, nasty, ill-bred b*tch. I'd seen her the day before at a PTA mtg. She was sitting opposite me, wearing a t-shirt and I noticed a small roll of fat hanging over her jeans when she was sitting. I think she knows I noticed her roll & decided to get back at me? Still, I was seething. Still am.

OP posts:
cat64 · 25/05/2007 13:01

This reply has been deleted

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handlemecarefully · 25/05/2007 12:57

Ah sauce - honestly she might not have deliberately set out to be bitchy. It could just be a genuine mistake. Give her the benefit of the doubt on this one

Original poster
sauce · 25/05/2007 12:52

Actually, I did say "oooh, we could say the same thing about you, my dear!", patting her tummy. She had just patted mine.

What I don't understand is WHY be a bitch? Why?! What's the effing point of making someone feel bad? I thought she was nice enough before, def not kindred spirit material but okay...

And why does it bother me so much? Get a life, sauce!

OP posts:
prettybird · 25/05/2007 12:51

I did it to someone once when visitng friends in SOuth Africa. I swear she looked 6+ months gone - a very definite bump protruding (dh will back me up that she did look pregnant).

I define it as the most embarassing incident of my life!

Isnce then, I never ever cooment on someone's preganancy until I have had it independently verified by a third party - no matter how pregnant they look.

She may have just realsied she was in a hole - and then, in her emabarassment, dug deepr with her comment about yo-yo dieting. Embarassment can make you say strange things.

OrmIrian · 25/05/2007 12:38

Perhaps you could 'nicely' suggest some exercise to reduce muffin top

Original poster
sauce · 25/05/2007 12:37

Yes but the cow saw me the day before at the meeting & I was wearing trousers & a t-shirt! If she thought I was pg why wouldn't she have said something then? It could only have been sheer bitchery. In which case, how do I deal with it? I loathe her but have to be "nice" to her, iyswim.

OP posts:
GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 25/05/2007 12:34

Note to self - smock dresses will always invite a 'when's it due' comment.

However, she's probably just dim, digging herself deeper into a hole (with the yo-yo dieting comment) or spiteful. Whichever it is, laugh it off.

TootyFrooty · 25/05/2007 12:30

Only 6 foot size zero models look good in smocks.

Flame · 25/05/2007 12:27

If it makes you feel better a friend of my dad's came into a gathering... said to one of the guests "Have you still not had that baby yet???"

The one who was a month overdue wasn't in the room... the one she was talking to had a 4 month old

Flame · 25/05/2007 12:25

lmao

anniemac · 25/05/2007 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 25/05/2007 12:22

Oh god ! I totally misunderstood..I thought you'd had a baby and then she said that! I couldn't see why that was offensive...

But in this case.... yes, a total cow!

Have to say that I avoid smock dresses because they make me look pregnant. I was once asked if I was pregnant wearing a smock type thing - and in those days I was much skinnier...

Original poster
sauce · 25/05/2007 12:20

As I said to my friend (who was there at the time), "the only yo-yoing that's going to go on is me repetitively slapping her stupid face!"

OP posts:
snowleopard · 25/05/2007 12:18

In fact I've decided to stop wearing it and save it for when I am pg again, if that day comes

handlemecarefully · 25/05/2007 12:18

lol, I might concede that since she mentioned her holistic study on yo yo dieting

lulumama · 25/05/2007 12:18

holistic study of yo yo dieting

genius !!

how funny!

smock tops are the worst for making you look preggers! bought one today that makes me look like i;m having triplets !

snowleopard · 25/05/2007 12:18

It's such an unbelievable minefield that i have no idea why anyone, ever, assumes someone is pregnant and congratulates them out of the blue. Not only might you not be pg, it might be a touchy subject for you. there should be a law against it! I bet it was innocent though and entirely the fault of the smock. I have one, it makes me look about 7 months gone unless I tie it with a scarf.

Original poster
sauce · 25/05/2007 12:17

How about 50% unreasonable?

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Desiderata · 25/05/2007 12:16

We've all got a roll. We'd split when we stood up otherwise!

Oh, jeeez. This woman sounds priceless

Holistic study of yo-yo dieting. SNORT

handlemecarefully · 25/05/2007 12:15

Yes you are being 100% unreasonable.

I've had someone congratulate me before - I interpreted it as a rather awkward and embarassing (but innocent) mistake on their part, saw the funny side and resolved to loose a few pounds.

Original poster
sauce · 25/05/2007 12:14

I've got my roll, too. God knows I'm no stick but I would never dream of asking anyone, no matter how well I know them, "are you expecting?"

OP posts:
Desiderata · 25/05/2007 12:12

Ha ha! Furtive roll glancing

Carmenere · 25/05/2007 12:12

Oh ok maybe she is just a bitch.

Carmenere · 25/05/2007 12:11

It is the dresses fault not the tactless mother.

Original poster
sauce · 25/05/2007 12:11

I didn't think twice about her stupid little roll!

No way was she mortified! She then had the nerve to ask me if I was interested in helping her with her "holistic study on yo-yo dieting".

OP posts: